Hallows Eve Reflections

Yesterday my nephew and I did our annual October activities.  We carved pumpkins and evangelized our candy for Halloween night.  As usual we read the Pumpkin Gospel, you might recall from last year the book uses the process of carving a pumpkin to illustrate how God throughout our lives challenges and helps us to become people of light, of joy - sons and daughters of God.  Lately, I have been in a very contemplative mood trying to sort some things that at times give me more pain than joy, trying to figure out the course of action and trying to truly surrender everything to God without picking it back up when I lose patience in the wait.  I know am being rather ambiguous- some things even for me are difficult to find words for.  I think every year around this time I also miss my brother in heaven and my body and mind mourn subconsciously.  Obviously his death has been such a huge loss in my life, but he left me so much goodness that every day through my testimony of life I try to live in a manner that would make him proud- and I rest looking forward to spending eternity with him… He was a really shy, introverted person- I am not even sure if he ever had a girlfriend.   But during those moments of drunken, mariachi talks he bared his soul and asked me to have the courage that he never had to live life without regrets.  He taught me that a “no” is better than a “what if.”  And to this day God has given me the strength to put to action my brother’s education especially during those shattering moments of rejection.  To find rest in knowing the truth as difficult and unwelcomed as it might be, always hopeful that God will provide according to His will.

In matters of two- I always like to examine my role since that’s really the only area in my control.  I don’t like leading people on- that’s one of the reasons I don’t have many guy friends.  I am straight forward and as of recent I have no problem demonstrating that I care, that I am interested because what is a love that hides, that withholds, that lies that fears?  Yet, as transparent as I think I am maybe I send men mixed signals- that’s what I have been wasting my time pondering.  Am I sending the object of affections mixed signals and he’s not getting my clear message (that I am into him and I give him my blessing to pursue me) or is it that he does get them and he’s just not interested?  Serious thoughts overpower me this morning… I guess that the confusion in these heart related matters has to do with our communication styles and what actions make us feel loved - Gary Chapman would attribute these misunderstandings to our love language.  

I have discovered that I tend to love others usually through actions that make me feel loved.  My love language is Quality Time nothing says to me I love you like someone’s full, undivided attention.  Being there for me is critical and quality conversations- revealing things to me about yourself show me that you care. Distractions, postponed dates or failure to listen can be really hurtful and signs that you are not interested in me.  I think if I would rate the five love languages in levels of importance, starting from most significant to least important: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gifts and words of affirmation would be my order.

I am intense- superficial relationships bore me, even deplete me.  I need substance…  Am not sure how this ranting followed carving pumpkins (smile)…  Life is just short- and after confronting death one learns to value life, to value others and to understand that we are all subjects of time- and time stops for no one.  My hope is that every day – love will guide me and though not everyone will want my love (even when my greatest happiness is to give it) I need to accept those antagonistic wills.  I haven’t been very successful in the romantic side of love, but I have hope that I am getting closer after all everything of value deserves a good ounce of perseverance…  

Fall Fest 2014

Yesterday we had our annual Fall Fest at my parish.  For the past three years my nephew and I have been attending and this year we went as Saint Francis of Assisi and Saint Elizabeth of Hungary.  I had promised that I would share with you a bit about the saint I choose to be this year...  Saint Elizabeth of Hungary spent her life in a castle surrounded by incredible wealth.  She was born a princess and from the age of four she was already engaged to Louis, a German prince. From the moment he saw her he loved her and she in turn felt a deep connection to him as well.  They were mere children (she four he ten) when Elizabeth was sent from home to Germany and thus a pure friendship began in which they called each other brother and sister.  As they grew in age, their love for one another also grew and she found refuge in him through most of her young life because he encouraged her desire for holiness.  She loved spending hours in the castle chapel praying and giving to the poor in abundance – which were not traits admired in a royal and often times she was ridiculed by her subjects.  However, she continued to pursue holiness regardless of the resistance and Louis always defended her holy ways.  She was deeply moved by a Franciscan Friar who visited the castle and shared the testimony of Saint Francis of Assisi and she longed to live in poverty and simplicity (eventually becoming a Third Order of Saint Francis). Her meeting with this friar fueled her desire for prayer and she emptied the castle store-houses of grain to give to the poor.  While Louis was alive he defended Elizabeth and her ways, but he died young in battle.  His death was a huge hit to Elizabeth for he was the one person on earth that she loved above all, but God gave her the strength to survive him.  Without his protection her subjects turned against her and kicked her out of the castle and she had to beg for food and was terribly humiliated by everyone.  Eventually her position was restored and though her subjects never grew accustomed to her generosity she continued to give to the poor and strive for simplicity and holiness.  Four years after her death she was canonized a saint.

I really enjoyed getting to know Saint Elizabeth for many reasons first she was separated from her family and country at the age of four and sent to live with her betrothed in Germany; yet, she never complained rather found solace in God and in prayer.  As a child she would always sneak to the chapel to pray and visit Jesus.  Though she was misunderstood by just about everyone in the castle because of her strong faith- God provided a wonderful friend and husband to protect and encourage her.  The love story between, Elizabeth and Louis is one of the most beautiful tales of love I have read and though she lost him quite young she found refuge in God.  Although she felt like she had died the day she lost Louis, she clung to God fiercely and God gave her the will to go on.  It was truly an honor getting to be her this Hallows Eve.

Saint Francis loves snakes!

On another note, the Fall Fest was a great success at my parish.  We had quite a lot of families come out to support the event and a lot of little saints walked the parish grounds.  We had a lovely pizza dinner provided, game booths for the kids and Prehistoric Pets gave us a show with some creepy crawlers.  Over all it was a really fun night!  More parishes should start doing similar events after all the Catholic Church is great at evangelizing pagan holidays (smile).

Classical Night

The first time I heard Gregorian chant was during my first spiritual retreat in 2005.  I remember entering the dark prayer room eyes closed and I heard the melodious harmony of voices chanting in a language I couldn’t understand, but the pure sounds transported me into the realms of God.  The sacred chants brought so much healing that night and for a while I thought this type of music was reserved for only powerful prayer within a church setting.   The chants seemed too holy to be taken out of the house of God and thus after the retreat ended I never inquired nor pursued the music.  Again in 2007 at my next crucial retreat with Jovenes Para Cristo I heard the rhythms of the music – since I have come to appreciate Gregorian chant and listen to the music especially when I need sustenance and peace.

Last week I was on Facebook and on the news feeds I saw that the Norbertine Fathers from Saint Michael's Abbey were performing at the Segerstrom Hall along with the Pacific Symphony. A couple of friends of mine and I were able to catch the performance and it was such an amazing night!  The conductor explained that the concert was in fact a novena for the souls of our departed.  We were there opening night and the concert series will close on All Souls Day.  I am in no way educated in Gregorian chant I just appreciate it, but I can attest that it has the power to heal and transform hearts.  I recommend you go enjoy the classical series.  The first half takes Respighi poem Church Windows and is seriously amazing!

We sat in the third row from the front and I was close enough to see the facial expressions of the performers as they played their instruments and boy was that intimate.  This inner passion from the musicians drove the instruments to communicate the sounds of heaven.  Together the violins, trumpets, flutes, drums, harp, the Norbertine Fathers… made the most amazing music and two thoughts came to mind.  One that together we make better music (proving that God created us to exist in community) and two, that if this is so pleasing to my being I can’t wait to hear the sounds of angels in heaven (smile).   

Fearless Love

I am not one who falls easily for men, nor one that is afraid to be alone.  I treasure my independence, value my free time and guard my heart.  For the past thirty years of my life I hadn’t thought of marriage because I was so satisfied in my single vocation.  But when I turned thirty I was having lunch with Father and he suggested that it was time for me to start discerning the marriage vocation since we both knew that religious life was not for me.  I moved church communities, joined a young adult group went on a singles cruise and slowly I began to crave a husband and a family.  As my nephew grew in age and our conversations became more intelligible I began to want my own little person to mold and to care for.  As I found men in church that I was attracted to who held similar values and lifestyles to mine I began to put my guard down.  Slowly I began to understand that while I was extremely happy on my own, I craved for the rare intimacy of romantic relationships- and while I found myself surrounded and soaking in love a part of my heart was revealed wanting… Thus, with the same fearless spirit that God has given me I began to pray, to search and to be vulnerable allowing God to fill me with His wisdom as I traveled the path towards my one and only.  Since my previous relationship I have fallen twice for the wrong person and though at first each of these two men looked like the one- I learned that they were not.  While I was left loving them and hurting over the painful rejections I realize that each time I loved better, more selfless and with God ever so present.  And I healed quicker too (smile).

In this journey God has taught me to be more reasonable in my manner of loving.  Showing me time and again that love is a choice and if I have to come across a few "no’s" in my quest- my life will go on.  The two of us (God & I) will be ok (smile).  Now I am better at not making excuses when I don’t hear from the object of my affections. I am no longer left waiting making excuses for his lack of interest.  He’s not too shy, he’s not too busy, nor is he playing it cool; he’s just not into me and that’s ok because I will always have God.  I think the challenge right now is learning when to let go.  The other day I wrote a post on the signs that she’s into you and I think many of those signs can be applied to men.  I think if someone is interested they will want to be in contact with you and will keep the conversation going and if they are not- then little or no effort will be made.  Yet, sometimes though the big NO he’s not into you is flashing in neon lights I feel like I turn my look away wanting the love I carry to be enough for the two of us.

Beginning & endings in relationships suck!  They are equally painful and so full of uncertainty.  It’s the middle that is worth all the trouble (smile).  How do we make it to the middle? By putting the armor of God and fighting the battles that arise with fairness, reason and with complete trust that as long as God has our hearts the battle wounds we receive will not defeat us.  I know people that have given up on ever finding their one and only because of fear of pain, rejection, humiliation, etc. and to them I say look at the cross!  Loving is not only butterflies and flowers, God who calls himself and is LOVE died for miserable us.  Let’s take courage in His perfect example.  Rejection, disappointment, unwanted-ness sting worse than a swarm of bees, but those painful experiences lead us to the cross.  And it is at the cross that we are molded into better, more selfless lovers.  My wish is to love all who God places in my path with the type of love that is not afraid of pain especially my significant other. Jesus was fearless, Mother Mary was fearless, the saints were fearless and we are called to imitate all that is good (Philippians 4:8). With God - let’s be fearless lovers always! 

The Catholic Socialite

I follow this blog called The Rockabilly Socialite because the blog follows Dolly in her vintage life experiences mostly focusing on the various rockabilly events that she attends.  By reading her blog I have learned a great deal about the 50’s, the commitment and love a group of people have to living true to a past era, and the various events that encourage this classic lifestyle.  As I write this post today- I realize that I am somewhat of a Catholic Socialite (smile).  I am learning more about my faith daily, attempting to live according to my Christian spirituality and attending many events that support my love for God.  A couple years ago I was not ready to shine the spotlight on activities that I am involved because I felt that sharing the various activities that I devote my time needed privacy.  I didn’t want to be one of those believers that displayed areas of my spiritual journey so that others would notice and I would impress them (Matthew 6:18).  Now I have no problem displaying the events that I attend because I learned something from the Rockabilly Socialite.  I realize that when I began my spiritual journey I was terribly ignorant and I wasn’t aware of the events, groups and activities that are currently happening to help motivate my faith.  I thought Mass was all the church provided- yet, there’s such an abundance of groups, classes, volunteer opportunities, seminars, social events, etc. that are available for our growth.  Thus, I started sharing these activities with the intention of informing others of how well-rounded our faith is!

On Saturday, after the teen retreat my friend and I went to Java, Jazz & Jesus held by Christus Ministries.  The event’s relaxing, contemporary live music, yummy coffee and treats helped create a warm ambiance in which we had great spiritual discussions.  Father Tri presented a talk on three characteristics that Pope Francis’ papacy has thus far highlighted (humility, joy, and mercy).  Afterwards we dissected the talk at our tables.  Followed by more music, coffee and great conversation.  While I was slightly tired from my morning of service- I had such an amazing time and got to bond with my friend and with others who share my faith (smile).

5 things I’ve Learned From Teen Ministry

Entering the world of teenagers can be a daunting task.  Spending a day with highly emotional kids that generally have a group mentality (and like to follow the queen bees) can be one of the biggest challenges one can undertake.  Though I left teen ministry to work in the RCIA program, this past Saturday my parish teen minister asked me to help during the one day retreat.  While generally I can relate to teens (because I am still young enough to be perceived as an older sister) I have learned several things from my days as a teen leader.    

1. Being uncool is ok. All morning on Saturday, during small group sharing time my group of girls made me feel so OLD because I am no longer current on celebrity gossip, hot young actors or popular movies.  At one point one of the girls straight up told me that I didn’t know anything!  While the experience helped create in me a more humble spirit as the day progressed and we delved into deeper topics of spirituality and life my lack of pop-culture knowledge no longer made me the ignoramus of the group, and eventually I began to earn their respect.
2. View students in light of their potential and like Jesus be patient and love unconditionally.  At the beginning of the day there will always be some resistance from a few of the teens and it’s important to not take it personal.  On Saturday one of my girls was upset because her mom made her come on the retreat and she didn’t really want to participate in any of the initial activities.  Yet, as the day went by and the rest of her peers began to really get into Jesus she too started opening up.  It’s important to keep in mind that who the teens are today are not who they will be tomorrow, Jesus always looked past people’s current station.  
3. Create a loving environment in which teens feel safe to express their thoughts and feelings.  I always beginning by learning their names (which is one of the greatest compliments one can give another) and challenging my group to do the same.  Listen to them, take seriously what they share and create boundaries that encourage respect among them.  And always begin by modeling your expectations – a good example is worth more than words.
   
4. Earn their trust and respect.  Remember that you are the leader of the teen pack and the group will be looking at you for direction.  During a prayer exercise I had to send one of the kids outside because he was distracting other students and that small action showed my teens that I was willing to discipline when needed to maintain a positive environment conducive to learning.
5. Pray for them.  It’s important to pray for them before, during and after the retreat.  I always pray before I meet my bunch so that God will open their hearts and minds.  During the retreat as need arises and intentions are shared again I pray, and afterwards so that what occurred on that day will continue to mature throughout their lives.  Jesus prayed for us so lets imitate (wink).

Yeah teens still terrify me, but when I see the fruits of my labor any discomfort I suffer is worth every moment of vexation.  On Saturday, some of the teens that are now helping out in the ministry made my day.  Seeing their commitment to God and their growth in faith – just melted my heart and inflated me with pride.  As always I left the retreat so filled with God’s love and blessings.

Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness

Father with his mom.

“Don’t forget in the darkness what you learned in the light.”  The big struggle of any Christian is smiling even when our hearts are breaking.  On Sunday, I attended Mass in Spanish after my RCIA talk.  Father Sergio was celebrating and though his mom passed on earlier last week he was as cheerful as usual.  He gave the homily with the same amount of joy and funny sense of humor that characterizes him.  He even invited us to the viewing & funeral services coaxing us by promising that we would meet all sixteen of his siblings.  Leaving I thanked God for allowing me to witness such complete trust and powerful witness in my church leader.  My desire is to have such an intimate relationship with God that no matter the struggles, the pain, the rejection- not even death will rock my faith & trust in my powerful Creator.  All my hope, all my ambition is (as Pablo Neruda put it) to be so close to God that His hand in my chest is my hand, so close that if He closes His eyes I fall asleep. 

Father Ordained by JP2

The truth is we all hurt- for different reasons we mourn and we ache.  Lately I have been feeling a bit blue myself, but our emotions should never cloud our hope in our Risen Savior!  This November is the tenth anniversary of my brother’s death and though I have found a way to continue it’s still such a sense of loss when I think of my sibling being absent from my life.  Sometimes we have to keep living until we feel alive again.  This life is full of loss and disappointments because it’s a fallen world.  The enemy attacks in areas that are valuable to us like the loss of a job, an illness, a heartbreak, a death in the family…  Sometimes when I am hurt I want to retaliate, to get drunk or to succumb to my depressive emotions.  At times I am so self-focused that my problems and distress look bigger than my God.  Why?  Because I have taken my eyes from God and placed them on my limited self.  That’s why seeing Father so strong in God really inspired me to trust the Lord more, to lean on the Him more and to hope in the Lord even when things look rather hopeless.  That instead of reacting to a negative situation negatively I NEED to rest in the hope and strength God has promised.

I was talking to a friend about how life as a single Catholic person (past thirty) at times seems quite the hopeless situation.  Especially during breakups or the beginnings of relationships.  Romantic break-ups are almost equivalent to a death because usually one needs to get away from the beloved to heal and to move on.  And beginnings are confusing because one must risk rejection.  Life is hard!  It throws obstacle after obstacle and hurt after hurt; and we as Christians need to learn to smile and trust in the Lord during these stumbles.  We need to handle difficulty with grace and dignity.  That’s why studying the lives of the saints is so important and having friends and church leaders that through example show one that no matter the painful hurdle - it’s a choice to rely on God and it's a choice to shine His light as testimony of our great hope in Him.  

God of Wonders

I just finished reading The Grapes of Wrath- and as I was preparing to give a talk on creation one of the themes of the novel concerning our devaluation of farming, agriculture and nature (in general) stood out.  Steinbeck makes a powerful argument that as people stop working the land they begin to belittle and abuse it - including the people that work it.  My dad was a farmer and to this day he has a small plot in our backyard where he plants all types of vegetables and fruits.  I love that about him- his passion towards maintaining our beautiful flower gardens and his connection to mother earth.  He has a great understanding of plants and the various needs each plant species requires.  Usually every afternoon after he has done his routine watering and maintenance of his gardens he lies under our avocado tree and takes a nap.  Sometimes he just lies on a lounge chair and contemplates creation.  These moments in which I see him so happy, comfortable and in his element I will forever treasure (and will forever make me smile).  I think sometimes (we) city folk have such difficulty appreciating Gods creation.  We take flowers for granted and sunsets go ignored.  And like in The Grapes of Wrath we belittle God’s creation and no longer are amazed by His evident love for humanity.

Where is Dollar?

Though I lived on a farm for quite a few years as a child- the city changed me.   My values changed and in arrogance I shifted my view towards the industrialized, educated, modern world- and forgot to admire the sunrise or starry night (after all they were processes that occurred daily).  CS Lewis believes that in order to see God we need proper eyes.  Lewis is a genius for a reason!  As I began to fall in love with God I began to see the ways in which He pursued me.  I began to appreciate the varied seasons, the crunching leaves of fall and the cool breeze of winter.  When I fall in love, I love showering my beloved with little gestures and I began to see that everything around me are God’s gestures to me.  It’s as if one day my eyes were replaced and I was able to see creation with the eyes of a wondering child.  After searching for God for many years – I finally saw Him everywhere.  In the smiles of children, in the rainbow of flowers, in the blue skies, in animals and in other people.

God created all the visible and invisible out of nothing! He just whispered this beautiful universe into being...  Love creates- a husband and wife create a babe as testimony and product of their love.  Likewise, God who is LOVE created the heavens, the earth and His most valued creation (above all) US!  The whole of creation is for our enjoyment- it's His plan of seduction (smile).  I mean I am a cheesy person- but the King of romance is God!  

In The Tabernacle of My Lord

All I need is You.  On Saturday morning once again I woke up with a burning desire to be with God- just the two of us.  I got in my car put on worship music and began to pray along to some of my favorite alabanzas (praises).  There was so much I needed to confide in Him.  My mind was in chaos and I needed His clarity, guidance, strength, hope and perseverance.  Though at first I had trouble getting my mind calm enough to enter into His tabernacle slowly as I drove layers of stress and impatience began to peel off and by the time I reached Mission San Juan Capistrano I was fully in communion with my Heavenly Father.  I was a bit stressed because I was giving a talk on God the Creator to my RCIA students (though I taught for eight years) when it comes to sharing my faith with others I still feel so unworthy and so ignorant.  As I toured the mission I learned about all the missionary priests who left their homes in hopes of converting the indigenous people of California.  I learned how they did all types of work in addition to teaching people in the faith and celebrating the Eucharist.  They lead very challenging lives.  Reflecting on the struggles the priests overcame (all for their love of God) I realized that many times God takes each of us out of our comfort zone and into valleys that terrify us, but it is during those moments that His power is made perfect.  He just wants us to be His instruments and He will provide all we need to achieve the assignment He has entrusted us with.  My talk to my RCIA group turned out fine – thanks to the Holy Spirit and the prayers of my friends. I learned a great deal and in two weeks when I give my second lesson on prayer again I will rely on God’s strength and wisdom to get me through it- for He promises to always be with us and to provide (smile).

The other struggle I took to the cross on Saturday morning was one a little more personal.  I have shared with you that I have only been involved in one romantic relationship and that was prior to my conversion- thus, now at times I feel lost in matters of the heart.  I am a very transparent person and if I am interested in a man I am quite obvious- even more now because I want to love with humility, without fear and without playing games.  Yet, at the same time it’s important for me to be pursued because I want a man that’s going to be the leader of our pack.  

I have a pretty strong, fearless personality in the realms of love- because I am a lover and loving is my mission.  But I don’t want to scare away a man by overstepping my boundaries and pursuing him- I understand we live in an age and time when women ask men out, but that’s not me.  I was raised in a traditional home and my mother taught me that I am worthy of being pursued.  God cemented that value furthermore.  The beginnings of romantic relationships are so difficult and confusing because one is always so unaware of the feelings of the other person.  Though I send signs do they reach him? Do his signs reach me?  I don’t know.  But God does and that’s why involving Him is so crucial in matters of the heart.  On Saturday, I lit a candle in the chapel of the mission and placed my heart in God’s along with my special intention.  I trust that He will guide me towards my one-and-only and slowly (at my pace) He will teach me the process of Christian courtship (smile).

Fun with the Saints

As an attempt to transform a festivity that tends to leave God out of its celebration, churches began to create fall festivals encouraging the community to dress in costume as their favorite saints.  For the past two years at my local parish my nephew and I have participated in the Parish Fall Fest.  This year I decided that I wanted to utilize the month to do a little more studying and to really get to know one saint so that by the time the Hallows Eve festivities come I will have a deep understanding of a soul that gave herself entirely to God.  I decided that as actors study for their parts I too would study my saint.  As I research the plethora of Catholic Saints I came across Saint Elizabeth of Hungary.  I knew ahead of time that I wanted a Renaissance saint because I love that period in history.  Thus, the search began and I came across a beautiful icon of Saint Elizabeth and new immediately that she was the one.  I order a book online that had pretty high ratings and came from Ignatius Press.  The book came in yesterday, Saint Elizabeth's Three Crowns, and I am about half way through it.  Once I finish it I will do a follow-up post on it.

While I was really drawn to the beauty of Saint Elizabeth’s icon and was happy to take on the role of a princess I came to find out that later in her life she became a third order Franciscan!  I tell you my dear Saint Francis follows me closely (smile).  One day in court a missionary friar stopped by the kingdom and was summoned to tell stories (for he was a great story teller) and after entertaining the nobles with secular stories and gaining their attention he began to tell them about Saint Francis.  Elizabeth was so moved by Saint Francis’ testimony that she began to imitate his spirituality.  Though she had to endure ridicule and contempt from those who dwelled in the castle she gave abundantly to the poor and spent hours in her chapel praying…

I have not finished the book- thus I don’t want to get ahead of myself- but so far this exercise of taking a saint during the entire month has been really fortifying.  While in the past I thought saints distracted one from God - as I continue to learn more about the lives of ordinary people that surrender completely to God- I realize that the few saints that I have studied have always left me with a strong desire to give more of myself to God.  All the saints have shown me a clear path towards God and have intensified my desire for personal sanctification.  I can’t wait to finish my book and to tweak my costume to better reflect her (smile).              

Blessing of the Animals

When I learned that around the Feast of Saint Francis, churches worldwide celebrate the blessing of animals I started participating in the ritual.  On Friday, I left work early to take my spoiled mutt to get him blessed.  At Saint Simon and Jude Elementary School in Huntington Beach each year parents bring their pets and children bring their stuffed animals to get blessed.  “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord…" I took my fluffy guy and brought some holy water home for my other feathered kid.  It was such a neat celebration and quite funny because one of the dogs accidently drank a bit of the holy water- which I guess will teach the friars to not place their saucers of holy water within doggie reach (smile).  I also was a bit too ambitious in making sure my baby got holy water on him- so much so that the priest seeing my determination sprayed me full in the face and I was also blessed.  After being completely drenched in the face with holy water, I was pretty confident that Dollar had gotten a good soak himself mostly from the drips streaming down my face (smile).  Thus, we proceeded towards the car happily blessed and extremely refreshed. 

The event brought many critters: dogs, cats, parrots, parakeets, cockatiels, chinchillas, rabbits…  I believe if you were either an animal or animal lover this was the event to be at.  And like in paradise all the animals got along quite marvelously- there were no fights or incidents usually expected within a union of so many different types of critters.  Which served as a great ecumenical lesson for us humans.  If animals can get along – there’s hope for us yet (smile).  Last year, my little runt got blessed individually and this year he quite enjoyed himself in the group setting.  He looked rather distinguished in his autumnal bandana.

I love animals! Truly I do.  Being around them does a body good.  While I can’t boast of a family of my own- I have my doggie and he makes me so happy!  Making him happy is my purpose as a pet momma.  The last words of Saint Francis were, “I have done what is mine to do may Christ teach you what is yours.”  While I am still figuring out how to serve my community and loved ones better with greater commitment- my doggie too has a mission.  He brings so much happiness to my life and my family ADORES him too- but away from that he also brings a lot of cheer to the seniors at my local senior home.  He visits them once a month- usually in costume (I, his momma force him to wear).  And though I have heard often (from those believers too arrogant to know the REAL truth (wink)) that animals have no souls and thus they don’t reach heaven- I, in my simple animal-loving self, know that like in the new Narnia there will be animalitos in heaven- I couldn’t face eternity without them and Jesus would never allow such an omission from paradise (smile).

Mexican Psalms

On Saturday, I attended the Diocesan Ministries Celebration and Father Eugenio Cardenas gave one of the best talks that I have heard in a really long time.  His talk was on allowing ourselves to be invaded by the love of God, and he sang these songs (that my mother passed on to me) during his lecture.  While in my infancy these songs were about human love, Father Cardenas serenaded God with these beautiful “Mexican Psalms,” as he called them.  I shared with you that I used to get stinking drunk to this music.  Every time a man broke my heart I dealt with the hurt with alcohol and Mexican Regional Music.  On Saturday, Father redeemed this beautiful music and now I can’t wait to listen to my inheritance with God as my beloved and to dedicate these tunes to Him (smile)… Though I have a blog and I am very open in all subjects of my life- I am also a private person and I don’t share my current romantic battles nor who my heart silently admires.  Perhaps that’s why I love my classic Mariachi songs because they express figuratively my inner struggles.  The songs poetically reveal the current state of my heart- but only to God and to myself. 

Since it was also the Feast Day of Saint Francis of Assisi, Father chose music about creation and drowned our thoughts with images of God’s gifts to us, His beloved.  “The whole of creation is a kiss from God,” he quoted, “Que bonito amor, que bonito cielo, que bonita luna, que bonito sol…” God gives as we in Spanish would say a manos llenas – He’s just over the top in His expressions of love.  I mean what man could give his beloved a sunrise, a sunset or starry sky?  Only God!  

In his early life, Saint Francis was a party animal- before he pursued God - he was the life of the party.  He drank like a fish, was terribly materialistic and wanted honor and status.  That’s one of the reasons I love him so much, because my background is one that resembles his.  Yet, he had an encounter with God and transformed that frivolous animation into a constant happiness or joy in the Lord.  He became a faithful follower and willing instrument of God the Creator.  He was amazed by God’s humility in becoming a man and saw God in everything.  The human characteristics and weaknesses that ruled his youth were redeemed by God.   Thus, his life gives me hope because though I had a sinful beginning and am still a sinner - through God I am absolved and encouraged to an ongoing conversion.

Saturday night I closed my day with my best friend's thirty-second birthday party and I was able to enjoy the night without getting drunk.  Though I did enjoy a couple glasses of Sangria, danced like crazy and enjoyed the party- I was able to resist indulging in excess alcohol.  Having Saint Francis as a testimony of faith really motivates my conversion!  I have been working really hard for some time at dominating my favorite sins and to replace them with holier actions.  Though the progress is slow- it’s progress (smile).  

"Si algo en mi cambio, te lo debo a ti
Porque aquel cariño que quisieron tantos,
Me lo diste a mi"

A Woman Clothed With The Sun

I have been reading A Woman Clothed With The Sun examining eight Marian apparitions- and John Delaney (the author), mentions some of the common characteristics that each of the visionaries share in common. One that stuck out was that they all had little schooling.  They all had very little formal education – if any - and all received a message of inspiration, hope and prayer.  The first two seers are Juan Diego and Catherine Laboure.  Though both saints had very different upbringings: Juan Diego a poor, indigenous peasant and Catherine a middle-class woman; both through circumstance remained uneducated.  This characteristic is of great importance, Delaney, claims that because these persons had not been tainted with the philosophies of the time these two saints were able to accept the will of God more naturally: “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.”  Jesus makes many positive references to followers who believe without need for tangible evidence and He uses the meek, plebeian to perform His works.  Most of His friends were humble, ostracize people – He himself chose the life of a commoner…  In this day and age of technology and information it’s so great to hear that God doesn’t care about status.  

The other day I was at a red light and there was this man on a bike wearing a gardeners uniform covered in dirt and looking as if he had been working in the fields all day.  He saw a homeless man on the street corner and stopped his bike, pulled out his wallet and gave the homeless man a few dollars.  They shared a few words then he then climbed back on his bike and headed home.  I see this man on his bike driving to and from work almost every day- always covered in soot and I can’t help but smile: “they all gave out of their wealth, but she out of her poverty put in everything she had to live on.”  Every day heroes are all around us.

God doesn’t create crap, I think it’s important to remember that.  Each of us are equally special to Him and needed for the kingdom.  We are all here on a mission from God and called to become more like Him.  Individually we are significant.  God didn’t come to pick people with high IQ’s and successful in worldly terms.  Juan Diego and Catherine knew God intimately and when His Mother came to them they had the humility to believe and obey.  Both saints were average people that could have been forgotten in history – yet God saw in their ordinary beings something extraordinary.  He sees the same in each of us.  So when you are feeling quite low, remember that God loves the broken, the weak, the despised…  He loves you as unremarkable as you might be and craves to shower you in His healing love.