Being
Catholic doesn’t exempt me from pain or trials and tribulations… Walking with
Jesus is not an easy button solution nor a passport to constant feelings of happiness. Learning about my faith has never stupefied my
mind with fantastical stories nor offered permanent protection against
evil and suffering. The more I give
myself to God the more I realized that I still hurt, that I still lose people I
love, that problems continue. As a
young revert I dreamt of my relationship with a God that protected me from all adversity
and loved that beautiful imagery in Psalm 91:4 “He will cover you with His
feathers and under His wings you will find refuge.” I desperately wanted a God that did
everything for me, one that lived my life and magically erased my spiritual,
physical, emotional and mental troubles.
A God that if I asked Him nicely would take away the excess weight,
fulfill every one of requests and heal my bipolar disorder. As I began my conversion I realized that
though God is omnipotent, He’s more concerned with our sanctification- He wants
us to be more like Him- and many times suffering does just that. As I struggle living with a mental disability
and simultaneously live out my Catholic faith I understand that like Paul, God
permits me to have a thorn in the flesh
so that I will be more desperately dependent on Him and in my weakness boast
about Christ’s power! These posts are
some of my experiences triumphantly beating the disorder and healing slowly
through the grace of God and the doctors He has provided.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to
have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every
situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in
want. I can do all things through him
who gives me strength.”
No comments:
Post a Comment