Ten Tips to Keep You Sane During a Layoff

Getting laid off is stressful and even demoralizing, especially for people with mental disabilities.  Since, I had two months to mentally prepare for my forced vacation I developed a list that I think anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation can benefit from.  Here’s my plan of action to keep me sane during this transitional period:

1. Take care of necessities right away.  On my first day after the layoff I filed for unemployment and medical coverage.
2. Update your resume and cover letter ASAP.  I have a resume that I use for all jobs and a few different cover letters that adapt to different job types.   For example, I have four slightly different cover letters that I use when applying for mortgage, education, non-profit and church positions.
   
3. Find a reason to leave your bed early in the morning.  I decided to start my day with daily Mass.  At the parish near my home they have a rosary group that meets inside the church right before eight thirty Mass.  This gives me a positive reason to start my day.
4. Establish a routine.  Since I am used to getting up early because I used to work East Coast hours, I still get up at the same time and walk my dog.  It’s a fun way to sneak in a little bit of exercise while keeping my dog happy.
   
5. Set a time goal each day to look for work.  After Mass I spend four hours looking for work, sending out my resume & establishing connections.  Looking for work is a time consuming process.
6. Open a LinkedIn account.  I am still learning how to use mine, but through it I have access to contacts in various companies and recruiters can also find me there.  I have found leads through former coworkers on there.
7. Pass your resume along to friends and acquaintances.  I sent out my resume to all my classmates from the classes that I have been taking at the diocese and to all members of my fraternity. 
   
8. Pray and ask others to pray.  When I sent my resume to the deacons and my fraternity sisters they all placed me in their prayer intentions.  An army of prayer warriors and your own personal petitions will sustain you.
9. Have other activities.  I have an eBay store where I am selling my five-inch-heels that I no longer use in addition to the purses I refurbish and collector items I find when thrifting.  I am mostly selling things that I own and have no need for.  Cleaning out your closet and reselling items can be a great way for some extra cash.   
   You can find anything at a thrift store, anyone need a hummer (LOL).
10. Invest in you.  This is a time off when you can dedicate to learn a new skill, workout, develop a hobby, volunteer, take a trip…  Life is giving you a time of rest use it wisely.

Last week was my first week off and after taking care of the necessities, I started with daily Mass and I found that’s the secret to a healthy start.  I have a reason to leave my bed and after the service I feel so motivated to begin my day.  My routine keeps me busy - between prayer, the job search and my eBay store I have covered the hours I would spend at the office.  Then I add walks with my dog and a hobby and I barely have any time to think bad thoughts or feel sorry for myself.  Am also thinking in time of adding an excel class and volunteering visiting patients in hospitals with Dollar.  I look at my days with optimism because I have created a routine and plan of action that will keep my mind healthy.  The allure of sleeping in and not doing anything is not a trap to fall into because while it might seem relaxing, it gets old real fast.  Work sanctifies our day- NOT "getting paid" to do work.  Thus, I am really looking forward to this time and specially of having the holidays off to live them in a different way.

Gracias Señor

It's almost Thanksgiving, in a few days our ovens will be hosting turkey dinners with all the trimmings.  In RCIA we use the holiday as an introduction into prayer of thanksgiving.  First we have them write five things they are grateful for, then we place the prayers on our class altar (as an offering).  Then we go around and each student shares one of the items on their list, concluding with a cider toast.  I love this activity because it creates community, it brings us together in good cheer and thanksgiving- which is the essence of the holiday that we honor this month and a huge part of our faith.  This year, while I was on retreat I realized that this month is the month that the church dedicates to honoring and praying for our dead and I found it so beautiful that this happens during the time that civilly as a nation we celebrate Thanksgiving.  While it's easy to be thankful for the things that we have - it takes a lot faith to be thankful for the things that have been denied or taken away from us.  Joan Sebastian (one of Mexico's greatest contemporary composers) wrote a song, after his son was assassinated and he thanks God for calling his son home.  How can we be thankful for things that hurt and shatter our world?  It doesn't happen over night.  It's a process that some arrive sooner than others, but when we do arrive - when we are able to say, "thank you, God for calling my brother home," hope transforms the loss.  Hope gives us the will to go on and the courage to declare: "God, I might not understand why, but I trust in you." 

This year I am thankful for so many things both good and not so good- but I think my Catholic faith continues to top my list because, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."  This year I realized in a way that I hadn't before that as long as I have God, I can endure all things and that in itself is a great victory (smile).  Have a happy Thanksgiving go around the dinner table and thank God as a family then toast to our good, good Father.

Why Do Catholics Light Candles?

When I was growing up, I saw mom approach the altar at our parish and light a candle regularly.  She usually would be wearing a beautiful lace veil, kneel and then pick up a match to light the votive.  Kneeling she would bow her head, close her eyes and I knew something profound was happening, as she prayed I’d stare at her lost in admiration- hoping the day would come when I would be old enough to follow in her footsteps.  To this day when I see parishes that still make room for this custom I get giddy inside because I love the tangible, the concrete as a vehicle towards God.  When I visit foreign countries, especially in Europe, I go a little crazy trying to hit every altar and light a candle for each petition because I love, love, love the tradition.  I cherish that Catholicism takes pride in the created and uses the material to connect us with God.  For example, the simple act of lighting a candle – of putting match to wax- symbolizes our prayer intention, our desire to come in solidarity with the person on whose behalf the prayer is offered for. The duration of the lit candle symbolizes our continual intersession, as long as the light remains glowing so does our petition continues to be lifted to the heavens.  At the retreat house I was in over the weekend, the sisters offered two different size candles: ones that burn for a day and a bigger size that burns for five.  This is a common option.  When I have the choice, I prefer the large ones because I love thinking that my prayers burn perpetually night and day for five whole days!  Sometimes when I am given the candle (without the glass) I write my intentions with a permanent marker so that my petitions are literally on the candle.

Some people don’t understand the use of candles in our faith, but in Scripture Jesus states, “I am the light of the world, no follower of mine shall ever walk in darkness; no, he shall possess the light of life.”  Light has a special significance to Catholics it reminds us of the Paschal Mystery - of hope in Christ.  Jesus is the light even in our troubles he lights our path; thus, lighting a votive shows our understanding that even in the most challenging times our hope is in the Lord.  I love the imagery a lit candle provides; even though I walk away to complete my daily tasks, on the altar I leave my prayer intentions and remain united in prayer with the Lord.  

There’s also a history, a rich tradition that is being passed down to us throughout the ages.  Early Christians held onto this tradition from their Jewish roots.  In Jewish synagogues candles and oil lamps were continuously lit to show the presence of God.  We continue to have a perpetual votive near the Tabernacle to this day!

In my family we have a paschal candle that we light for each other when times get difficult.  If I am going to an interview, or my brother-in-law is having a medical procedure, or we are worried about a specific challenge we light the candle at home uniting our worries with Christ.  We do this to give God the control and remind ourselves “His will be done.”  Many Christians are afraid to use the material afraid of idolatry, in Catholicism we use the created world to enter more deeply into the heart of God.     

What to Expect From a Women’s Silent Retreat

I am back from my much needed weekend retreat.  When I signed up for it a few months ago I didn’t know that it would come during a time of personal dryness and challenges.  This is my second retreat at Sacred Heart Retreat House in Alhambra and it continues to be such a special weekend getaway.  Some retreats come with a sense of surprise so the schedule is not made known to the participants and after the retreat is over we are made to promise to keep details private as not to ruin the experience for new retreatants.  This retreat doesn’t follow either rules, when we arrive we are given a schedule of the entire stay and we can divulge as much information about it with others as we like.  So, what does a women’s silent retreat look like?

1) Silence and a restful atmosphere to better hear God's voice.

2) Conferences given by a priest that usually go with the theme of the weekend.

3) Various opportunities for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

4) Time for personal prayer.  I love spending time in the various gardens writing, coloring or just quietly listening to nature around me.

 Taking a walk while praying the rosary.

Coloring some scriptural postcards to later send my friends.

5) Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  Getting to spend time with Jesus!

6) Delicious home cooked meals. 

 7) Time to study or relax.  Beyond the gardens the library was my favorite place.

8) Daily Mass.

9) Plenty of free time to relax and take it slow.

 Enjoying the beauty around me.

10) Renewal.

My weekend was spent with the Carmelites.  Carmel means "Garden of God."  Our soul is that plot and we must constantly care and work on it to produce good fruits.  At the conclusion of the retreat I was given a rose to take with me a piece of Carmel, but beyond the tangible flower my soul was bursting filled with Him.  Though I have been to various types of retreats, at this stage in my life I really enjoy the silent retreats the best because of the freedom to just be alone with God at my own pace.  Some retreats can be so full of activity and the sisters at Sacred Heart really helps us relax and rest, to become so quiet that God's voice becomes audible. The mission is to promote a deeper spiritual life among God’s people and the way they so carefully arrange our stay really invites us to grow.  Retreat Info: Sacred Heart Retreat House

How to Prepare for a Retreat.

Every year I like to take a weekend retreat to nourish my faith and spend some one-on-one time with God.  During the years since I came back to the Catholic Church I have attended various types of retreats.  Some were coed, others were young adult retreats, there was the Cursillo, the one in a monastery, the one in big bear, local ones, formation ones, women only, and the one that I am repeating this year the women’s silence retreat.  I am very fortunate that the Catholic Church has such an array of retreats available throughout the diocese year round.  Thus, I thought today I would share how I prepare for a retreat.

Desire Your Retreat- Look forward to your weekend getaway, see it as a blessing in your life.  I know that for busy people it’s hard to think of leaving everything behind for a weekend, but things will still be there upon your return.  I like to think of retreats as my moment with God on Mount Sinai, where I go seeking Him knowing I will find Him.  

Take Comfortable Clothes- Check your weather forecast and take clothes that will accommodate the temperatures.  Dress simple so all your attention is on God.

Be on time- try to make arrangements so that you start your retreat on time.  Some offer bus services so that you don't have to worry about driving- I suggest you take the offer.  Starting with a calm spirit makes it easier to focus on God. 

Prepare for Prayer- I always like to take a journal to write my thoughts and take notes on the topics that are given.  Since I like to doodle, I also take color pencils.  Other great things to take are a rosary, prayer booklets and a religious book.  I usually take one on the life of a saint, so that during the weekend I can have a holy companion and intercessor.

Take Prayer Intentions- Before I go I ask my friends and loved ones if there’s anything that I can pray for them during my retreat.  I make a list and during the retreat I bring their intentions to God.

Seek Solitude and Silence- The weekend away from your world and responsibilities is a time to spend quieting your mind and heart so that you can hear God speak to you.  After you receive the schedule of the retreat, plan a moment(s) to just be alone with God.  Some like to spend extra time in chapel – I usually love spending time outdoors in the gardens and at night admiring the star lit sky.

Make room for the gifts God wants to give you- Before the retreat go to confession or during the retreat try to make a confession as soon as they are made available.  The Sacraments are very healing- and I find that starting with a clean heart makes my disposition for receiving heavenly gifts more accepting.

Realistic Expectations- Expect for your faith to grow and to have moments that inspire and motivate your conversion.  Strive to come away deeply aware of how God is working in your life and His desire to be more involved in it.  Do not expect great emotional encounters- though they might happen, God speaks in many other ways.

Am excited for my weekend, it’s my birthday gift to myself this year.  If you have any prayer intentions am taking them down all week (smile).  

Nube Viajera

My favorite picture of him.

The thing about faith is that it’s personal.  It’s a relationship.  The greatest commandment is to love God and your neighbor as yourself, making it a three part rule: love God, your neighbor and yourself.  Thus, faith depends on relationship.  In fact, how I came to make-up my agnostic mind was because of a relationship and not principles or arguments.  Love just has a funny way of influencing each heart and today, forty-eight-years-ago, a soul was born who would bring me to Christ.  He wasn’t preachy or annoyingly apologetic- he just lived his faith.  Even though we shared twenty-four years of life side-by-side his was a much harder journey.  As my heart harden, his continued to hope, to find reasons to smile and his joy was infectious.  Maybe that’s why he was my favorite person because he was braver than I, he just wouldn’t let his wounds kill his esperanza.  No matter the strength of his suffering he refused to sulk.  Months before he passed he told me to give God a chance.  I didn’t know then that the difference between me and him was God.  That while my suffering pushed me away from religion, his hurt drove him deeper towards God.  

Our last picture of him, a few months before he left us.

Thirteen years ago this month, God called him home and I was left hanging on to the bits of him that I could.  Those bits contained so much love that they led me to God himself.  My brother-in-heaven became the guide and honoring his memory in addition to wanting to meet him in heaven is what penetrated this hard heart.  He was my pivotal player and today, on his earthly birthday I want you all to meet my most amazing-best-friend-forever-big brother.  All four of us were given pet names by my parents his was Nolo, so that’s what I will call him on here.  Since today he would be turning forty-eight, here are ocho facts about him!

1) He was born on El Dia de los Muertos and he wasn't a huge fan, he would rather have been born on Valentine's day.

2) He loved his blue Classic Converse Chucks.

3) He was a shepherd who herded our sheep in pastures of the beautiful Michocan forests during his childhood.

He's the one with the Birkenstocks next to the boom box.

4) He loved music, in the eighties he was one of those who carried a boom box on his shoulder. 

5) His favorite book was Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men.

6) He was the best listener - he not only heard what was being said he understood all that went unsaid.

He's the one on the end with the high-top sneakers.

7) His regret was not having the courage to pursue the girl's that he liked.

In the black suit.

8) He loved our culture and introduced me to all the classic Mexican artists.  He loved our religiosity and passed his love down to me.

He was my sidekick.  I remember we were at Party City once and two guys from school saw me with him.  They acted really weird until I shared that he was my older brother, both were like "we thought he was your boyfriend."  We were always together even if we didn't always see eye to eye on things.  Maybe, I tire you with mentions of him on here, but love never dies.  It's been thirteen years, but some days it feels like it was yesterday.  Today we will visit the cemetery to place flowers on his grave and to thank God for allowing us to have him for thirty-four years.  And to hope of meeting him again soon, until then "I carry his heart (I carry it in mine)."