Nube Viajera

My favorite picture of him.

The thing about faith is that it’s personal.  It’s a relationship.  The greatest commandment is to love God and your neighbor as yourself, making it a three part rule: love God, your neighbor and yourself.  Thus, faith depends on relationship.  In fact, how I came to make-up my agnostic mind was because of a relationship and not principles or arguments.  Love just has a funny way of influencing each heart and today, forty-eight-years-ago, a soul was born who would bring me to Christ.  He wasn’t preachy or annoyingly apologetic- he just lived his faith.  Even though we shared twenty-four years of life side-by-side his was a much harder journey.  As my heart harden, his continued to hope, to find reasons to smile and his joy was infectious.  Maybe that’s why he was my favorite person because he was braver than I, he just wouldn’t let his wounds kill his esperanza.  No matter the strength of his suffering he refused to sulk.  Months before he passed he told me to give God a chance.  I didn’t know then that the difference between me and him was God.  That while my suffering pushed me away from religion, his hurt drove him deeper towards God.  

Our last picture of him, a few months before he left us.

Thirteen years ago this month, God called him home and I was left hanging on to the bits of him that I could.  Those bits contained so much love that they led me to God himself.  My brother-in-heaven became the guide and honoring his memory in addition to wanting to meet him in heaven is what penetrated this hard heart.  He was my pivotal player and today, on his earthly birthday I want you all to meet my most amazing-best-friend-forever-big brother.  All four of us were given pet names by my parents his was Nolo, so that’s what I will call him on here.  Since today he would be turning forty-eight, here are ocho facts about him!

1) He was born on El Dia de los Muertos and he wasn't a huge fan, he would rather have been born on Valentine's day.

2) He loved his blue Classic Converse Chucks.

3) He was a shepherd who herded our sheep in pastures of the beautiful Michocan forests during his childhood.

He's the one with the Birkenstocks next to the boom box.

4) He loved music, in the eighties he was one of those who carried a boom box on his shoulder. 

5) His favorite book was Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men.

6) He was the best listener - he not only heard what was being said he understood all that went unsaid.

He's the one on the end with the high-top sneakers.

7) His regret was not having the courage to pursue the girl's that he liked.

In the black suit.

8) He loved our culture and introduced me to all the classic Mexican artists.  He loved our religiosity and passed his love down to me.

He was my sidekick.  I remember we were at Party City once and two guys from school saw me with him.  They acted really weird until I shared that he was my older brother, both were like "we thought he was your boyfriend."  We were always together even if we didn't always see eye to eye on things.  Maybe, I tire you with mentions of him on here, but love never dies.  It's been thirteen years, but some days it feels like it was yesterday.  Today we will visit the cemetery to place flowers on his grave and to thank God for allowing us to have him for thirty-four years.  And to hope of meeting him again soon, until then "I carry his heart (I carry it in mine)."