Losing Weight to Make Room for God

One of the first questions I want to ask God when we meet face-to-face is why does everything that taste so good have so many calories (smile).  I shared before how after I started taking the medications for my bipolar disorder I gained a ton of weight because one of the side effects of the meds is major food cravings.  In addition, as I struggled to regain my sanity after a tremendous manic phase I started using food as a tool to make myself feel better- at times it felt like the only thing I had control over was what I put in my mouth.  To cover my anxiety I ate and eventually I realized that my coping mechanism (of abusing food) was not a healthy technique, but by then I had gained an excessive amount of weight.  I then began a series of failed attempts at controlling my food intake and trying to lose the weight.  Yet, no matter how hard I have tried I haven’t been successful at sticking to a diet and exercise routine.  The positive is that no matter how many times I fail I refuse to give up.  This week I started my latest attempt at getting healthy and my dog has been very supportive since it means more walks for him (smile)! 

Life has taken me on paths that I never thought I would travel; I mean if a younger, vainer me had learned that I would be a plus size woman before my thirties I wouldn’t have believed it.  However, I have learned a great deal about what life is like for a curvy person, like: what a pain it is to find boots that will fit your calves, or how walking in heels is more tiring the heavier one is, or how finding cute clothes that fit is such a challenge and how looking at one’s reflection can be utterly painful.  The thing is that as we mature our bodies are going to change for the worst and we hold the power to decide how we are going to embrace this inevitable change.  It took a few years for me to look at my plus size reflection and be at peace with what I saw – though there are still days when it’s a little harder to accept myself.  The things is that while I am trying to do what I can to lose the weight in the mean time I need to accept myself because this is who I am right now.  One of the reasons that I love my dog is because no matter what I look like he treats me with the same love and devotion.  It’s important for us to have that type of unconditional self-love especially if we are Christians!  Self-acceptance creates empathy making us better lovers- because I have been given this opportunity to experience firsthand what it’s like to be a curvaceous woman I now understand the difficult process of transitioning from a skinny girl to a chubby one. 

While this change appears to be superficial it has a lot of damaging effects if we let it.  Thus, it’s crucial to allow God to reach us and redeem us especially in the areas that we are disappointed with.  Maturing in love is about loving other’s especially when they are difficult to love or when they are no longer as hot as they used to be- even if that person is ourselves.  Society makes us into commodities bombarding us (especially women) with the idea that we are only worthy if we look a certain way, but God tells us that we are always worthy...  Society tells us that we are lovable according to certain criteria our physical beauty being a huge part, but God tells us that there’s nothing we can do to make Him love us more.  Society lies and God speaks truth.  His truth set's us free and self-acceptance is easier with Him on our side.