5 things I’ve Learned From Teen Ministry

Entering the world of teenagers can be a daunting task.  Spending a day with highly emotional kids that generally have a group mentality (and like to follow the queen bees) can be one of the biggest challenges one can undertake.  Though I left teen ministry to work in the RCIA program, this past Saturday my parish teen minister asked me to help during the one day retreat.  While generally I can relate to teens (because I am still young enough to be perceived as an older sister) I have learned several things from my days as a teen leader.    

1. Being uncool is ok. All morning on Saturday, during small group sharing time my group of girls made me feel so OLD because I am no longer current on celebrity gossip, hot young actors or popular movies.  At one point one of the girls straight up told me that I didn’t know anything!  While the experience helped create in me a more humble spirit as the day progressed and we delved into deeper topics of spirituality and life my lack of pop-culture knowledge no longer made me the ignoramus of the group, and eventually I began to earn their respect.
2. View students in light of their potential and like Jesus be patient and love unconditionally.  At the beginning of the day there will always be some resistance from a few of the teens and it’s important to not take it personal.  On Saturday one of my girls was upset because her mom made her come on the retreat and she didn’t really want to participate in any of the initial activities.  Yet, as the day went by and the rest of her peers began to really get into Jesus she too started opening up.  It’s important to keep in mind that who the teens are today are not who they will be tomorrow, Jesus always looked past people’s current station.  
3. Create a loving environment in which teens feel safe to express their thoughts and feelings.  I always beginning by learning their names (which is one of the greatest compliments one can give another) and challenging my group to do the same.  Listen to them, take seriously what they share and create boundaries that encourage respect among them.  And always begin by modeling your expectations – a good example is worth more than words.
   
4. Earn their trust and respect.  Remember that you are the leader of the teen pack and the group will be looking at you for direction.  During a prayer exercise I had to send one of the kids outside because he was distracting other students and that small action showed my teens that I was willing to discipline when needed to maintain a positive environment conducive to learning.
5. Pray for them.  It’s important to pray for them before, during and after the retreat.  I always pray before I meet my bunch so that God will open their hearts and minds.  During the retreat as need arises and intentions are shared again I pray, and afterwards so that what occurred on that day will continue to mature throughout their lives.  Jesus prayed for us so lets imitate (wink).

Yeah teens still terrify me, but when I see the fruits of my labor any discomfort I suffer is worth every moment of vexation.  On Saturday, some of the teens that are now helping out in the ministry made my day.  Seeing their commitment to God and their growth in faith – just melted my heart and inflated me with pride.  As always I left the retreat so filled with God’s love and blessings.