Ave Maria Cruise: Part One

Am happy to be back- after a long adventure it’s nice to be home.  I have many great stories to share some quite humorous and some bits of wisdom that God gave me during this week long retreat.  I swam, played with monkeys and scorpions, danced, took a horse ride through the Belizean forests, prayed, had spiritual direction, celebrated the sacraments, laughed and fell into a deeper love with God and my Catholic faith…  On day one of my trip I came across a really good quote, “Often love is offered to you, but you discard it because you are fixed on receiving it from the person who you gave it.”  The quote became the theme of my cruise experience.  I felt this great challenge from God to stop having horse blinders where I am too busy looking only at the one I want and I miss on all the opportunities that God places in my path.  If I am open to God’s will that means that I need to trust Him, even when he’s leading me away from the object of my affections and perhaps even when He is telling me to give a man a chance that I am initially not terribly attracted to.  Love is a choice and when we limit ourselves to loving only one person (without the commitment or an established relationship) we are closing ourselves to God’s will and giving Him our guidelines and limitations to work with.  I am really attracted to a man, who shows very little if any signs that he is attracted to me and before the cruise I had tunnel vision, but after reflecting and getting spiritual direction from Father I realized that I need to change.  I can’t obsess over someone who just refuses to pursue me nor can I make excuses for him (like he’s too shy, or introverted, etc.).  I prayed a great deal for this man, but I also prayed for God to redirect my focus to Him. 

During the cruise I observed that I am not the only one that tends to fall for another person and form these strong attachments without the commitment and the exclusivity of a relationship.  I met a man who had the possibility of getting to know a friend of mine, but because he was thinking of an impossibility back home he refused to give my friend a chance. I also had a friend who even though she had someone in her heart at the beginning of the cruise she opened herself to the will of God and met a really nice man. We all come to these cruises on the same single boat, but we all arrive at different stages in our journeys.  Some come with a broken heart, some with an occupied heart, some ready to mingle, some hoping to reconnect with someone, some to relax among friends…  I returned because I wanted to reunite with my girlfriends and because nature is my highway to God.  My heart is occupied, but my will is aligned with God.  Thought I am really attracted to this man at home, I am learning to not be closed off to others because I want God’s will not mine.

While getting spiritual direction from Father at a beach in Cozumel, Mexico – he helped me put some order in my heart.  He’s the type of man that always offers advice without cushioning and though some of the things he advised challenged my romantic spirit- I know he is right.  I can’t close myself off until I have an offer of exclusivity – I guess that’s why I love “If You Forget Me” by Pablo Neruda (smile).

To be continued…  
Ave Maria Cruise: Part Two