Letting Go

My dog is snuggled at my feet- I just got home from a beautiful liturgy and an hour of adoration - after a morning of prayer my soul is as peaceful as that of my sleeping dog. I have been thinking a lot about the Lenten themes of purification and conversion with Ash Wednesday kicking off this time of transformation.  Though this period highlights the importance of these motifs our daily lives should always aim at becoming better people in Christ. Today, during mass Father spoke about an encounter with God- how all strong believers have had an experience with the Person of God; an experience so profound that signs of conversion and change point towards that moment of encounter. That initial meeting with the Person of God is significant, but in life we don’t have to journey alone nor be satisfied with only encountering God once. During my walk with the Lord, He has met me so many times in my journey that now we are really, really, really close chums (smile). Fulton Sheen says that we cannot love that which we don’t know and falling deeper in love with God requires frequent devotion which leads to a wholehearted conversion.

With Lent beginning this Wednesday, I've been thinking a lot about change and about areas that God has highlighted in my life that need modification. One, of those areas that I need improvement in is letting go. A few years ago I went skydiving and as I waited my turn to jump out from a moving plane- my instructor said, “The hardest part is letting go.” Recently I was thinking about those last words I heard before I plummeted into the vast, blue sky. In life often times we have to let go of things, dreams and people- not because we want to, but because we need to. In order to heal, we have to let go of the pain and the source (even if it’s a person that we deeply care about). We have to take the necessary steps (that at first are extremely difficult) like slowly letting go of that person in order to (little by little) move on. During adoration I asked God to help me let go of everything in my life that is not part of His will for my life.

The popular Christian saying takes the letting go message a step further, “let go and let God.”  I shared with you that there was a man I was interested in and as I reflect on this person that I am trying to let go little by little- I realize that I was always initiating all contact with him and trying to make something happen.  It’s exhausting when in a matter of two- only one person is doing all the work-so now as circumstances propel me forward I am at peace knowing that I tried (fear didn't hold me back). Now it's time to surrender all to God.  Feelings don’t change from one day to next so I have placed my trust in the Lord – may it be His will.  I am letting go…