Back in
Houston, after the cruise, my friend invited us to a holy hour. There in the presence of Jesus my vacation
came to a close. I remember that I was
praying for my vocation and for this man that has me losing sleep and as I left
the parish a stranger told me that he had been praying that I would grow in
patience. God seriously is great- in a
language that was super understandable to me He asked me to be patient with Him,
that He’s got it all taken care of- I just need to trust Him and be
patient. Which leads me to the role of
women in the courting process. One day
during lunch we had a spontaneous panel of men and women at my table. Men agreed to answer any questions the women
put out to them and vice versa. I asked
them what they thought of women initiating contact and how much a woman could
do without taking the role of pursuer.
Women listen up! They are
flattered and like it when a woman approaches them in a friendly way. In person, showing signs through body
language and making it obvious that you are interested will help give the
confidence he requires to pursue. Thus,
women we need to be really transparent and hit them with a frying pan (a few times) to
get him to understand the green light signals we are sending. Sometimes those shy men won’t pursue even if
they like you and if you’re like me who is very attracted to the quiet ones-
than we need to help them out (a lot).
We also need to pray and follow through with actions. Don’t be afraid to show him that you care, I
mean he needs to know you are interested as much as you need to know that he
is too. It’s hard for me to show interest
and reveal my feelings with the one I care because I am afraid of rejection and
also because I don’t want to turn off my man by being too pushy and
overbearing. Another of my friends asked about contacting men through online
sources. And the same advised applied.
Men are honored when a woman shows interest by sending the first
message. But life is a big university of
discernment. So go ahead and reach out and
if you notice that he’s not responding favorably, then thank God and move on.
Another
great tip is to give people second chances.
Initially, nerves and lack of experience are a recipe for disaster. I remember the first date with my
ex-boyfriend, he was so nervous that he spilled a coke all over himself and he
couldn’t articulate his thoughts. He was
also wearing a really old wrinkled shirt and I thought this guy totally doesn’t
like me because he wore the oldest shirt in his closet on his first date with
me. Later on, I found out that he had
stopped by his friend’s house and his friend’s dog ripped the originally new
shirt he had purchased for our date.
Then there were the awkward silences, but slowly, patiently and with a
lot of communication our relationship took off.
Recently a man sent me a message of initiation and he misspelled a word
and I was like how can he misspell words with spellcheck software! A few
days later I sent a message to someone I care about and I misspelled words myself
(SMILE)! I was mortified, but I learned a lesson to not judge a person so
quickly. I have a friend who wasn’t initially
attracted to the man she married and she told God in prayer that she would
never marry this guy not even if he was the last man on earth. Yet, God put her husband in her heart and
mind and eventually she could do no more than surrender. Now they are happily married. Sometimes we blow people off too quickly with
our rushed judgments and that totally is unchristian! God places many opportunities, but sometimes
we are so stubborn that we refuse to see the gifts God is trying to give us and He can't give what we won't accept.
Sometimes I
think God is just watching us and thinking, “Oh how my sons and daughters
complicate things!”
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