I once read a chapter of a Tim O’Brien
novel about war. The chapter described
in great detail the things the soldiers carried physically on their backs
through the trenches and jungles of war grounds. Slowly it changed from describing physical
things to heavier, psychological, emotional- deep hurts weighing down their
souls. Recently that imagery came to
mind. We all have things we carry in our
hearts, in our minds and beings - heavy burdens that keep us pinned to the
ground. Maybe it’s because I have been
praying more than usual and I keep hearing God’s voice whisper, “Trust Me,
Penny.” At times in a form of a
question, “Do you trust Me?” That my
mind keeps returning to the images of the soldier’s backpack, where among items
of bare necessity, love letters and pictures of sweethearts occupied space. I remember being fascinated by each item
description that each soldier carried because listed beside was the pounds it
weighed. And as my mind traveled to this
story (read many years ago) - I began to see this connection between the heavy
soldiers backpack and the heaviness of my heart. Many times in life God challenges us to give
Him our burdens, but fear holds us back.
I remember, that for years after my brother passed away I refused to
give God the pain I felt from my loss thinking that the pain was the only thing
I had left of my brother. After many
years, I finally let the pain go and He healed me. In life, as long as we live pain is
inevitable, and we must learn to go to Him again and again for restoration.
For the most part each soldier in the
narrative carried 15-20 pounds of weight in the trenches of war. I wonder how much each of the burdens we
carry weighs? The truth is that no
matter how heavy our load, God wants to redeem it. There’s
no hurt in this world that God cannot heal (smile). I sat yesterday during Mass and felt Christ utterly
present and concerned about me and my hurts.
Yesterday’s gospel reading was full of promise and joy in the
possibilities that Jesus comes to offer.
Per the Gospel according to Saint Mark (1:29-39), Jesus healed all the
sick and tormented people that were brought to Him. AND He promises to do the same for each of
us. “Come to me all who are weary and I
will give you rest…” He doesn’t promise
us that hurt won’t reach us, but He promises that He will be ever present to
heal us. Yesterday, I took my dog to the
vet- he caught a bug at the dog park- and as we waited to be seen by the vet my
dog was trembling with fear. He snuggled
close to me and I knew he wanted to leave, but being the loving owner of my
pet I knew that for his good he needed to suffer the vet examination. Many times I have found myself in painful,
scary situations and I wished that God would hide me under His wings until the
situation passed. Yet, He helps me face
the pain and always delivers me- stronger and with a little more
character. The most painful experiences
of my life have been the greatest moments of conversion and humble sanctification. When my strength is overcome and I have no power
to continue trying- He takes over and carries me. He waits until I surrender my stubborn will
and only then does He take over and works miracles that leave my soul at rest.
After healing the town’s people Jesus goes
off to pray and if Jesus needed to be in constant contact with the Father how
much more must we. Everyday God is
teaching me to be more dependent on Him and to trust in Him, especially in my
hour of need. Let’s not live downcast
like people who don’t have a Heavenly Father, nor carry sadness that He can
heal. Let’s show the world especially
during afflictions that we have a God that cares, that heals and that He loves us simply
because we are loveable. “Trust in the
Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
No comments:
Post a Comment