Encounter Christ

“Here I am down on my knees again surrendering all… Find me here, Lord as You draw me near, desperate for You… I surrender. Drench my soul as mercy and grace unfold I hunger and thirst, with arms stretched wide - I know You hear my cry, speak to me now. I surrender… I wanna know You more… Like a rushing wind, Jesus breathe within… Like a mighty storm, stir within my soul… Lord, have Your way; Lord, have Your way in me… I surrender…”  

People who have had a personal encounter with Christ are never the same again.  The conversion stories of Saint Francis of Assisi or Saint Agustin who after living a life of sin and excess leave everything to devote their entire lives to God and the church - or the conversion of Paul the Apostle who on his way to Damascus to arrest followers of Jesus has an encounter with God and from that moment becomes one of the most influential figures in Christianity are some of the greatest testimonies of encounter… On a cold day in early 2005 I had one of my first encounters with God.  My six-year relationship had just ended and I was left loving a man who didn’t want to be loved by me anymore and a couple months after the break-up my brother took his life.  I was the one that found him, the one that called the ambulance and the one that watched him die.  I had just graduated college and had quit three professional jobs unable to deal with the stress.  My undiagnosed bipolar has having the best of me and I suffered constant spells of deep depression to which I self-medicated with alcohol.  Literally, I was at one of the lowest points in my life and perhaps because I was so lost, so dejected, so vulnerable God found the door to my soul open.

It was a Saturday night in Big Bear, fifty of us were confined to a retreat center for a Retreat of Initiation given by an Old Catholic Church that I had just started attending.  It was night two of the retreat and after going through various talks and activities it was time for a night of deep prayer.  I remember it was dark and we were asked to close our eyes and this beautiful music was playing.  It sounded like angels were surrounding me and as the priest came over and prayed over me I had a vision.  I walked through this corridor of green flowers.  As I ran my hands over one side of the flower wall I noticed that I was barefoot because I could feel the wet earth beneath me. I saw my brother dressed like royalty with a crown on his head and this elaborate purple robe and he came towards me.  Then I saw Jesus surrounded by this comforting white light and He hugged me.  I remember that I held on to Jesus tightly and then I felt my brother hugging me from behind so that I was sandwiched in the middle of Jesus and my brother (SMILE).  From the day my brother passed I had asked God for a sign that my sibling was resting in a good place and at that moment embraced between Jesus and my brother I received my answer.

There have been other quite supernatural experiences that God has given me - always to draw me closer to Him and to confound me because He works especially in the areas where reason and factuality are dumfounded.  I share with you my first encounter with Christ- the moment that won me over.  Since- I can’t do no other thing than to follow Him… I surrender.