A Letter on Love

God is so wonderful- a friend I met on the cruise this year sent me the loveliest message as commentary to one of the National Catholic Single Conference posts.  After asking for permission to share some of his thoughts on my blog and getting his approval- I felt that some of his views needed to be stated as help and motivation for all my single friends.  At times I get the greatest desire to be caressed, to hug tightly and to share an intimate bond with a man- for as many of my friendships and blood bonds I am limited in my ways of showing affection.  For example, I can’t walk around holding my best friend's hand, nor can I ask her to caress my cheek – those types of affection are saved for a singular special person.  Sometimes, the desire for those intimate yearnings are so great that they begin to affect my mood and at times they steal my peace and in a moment of self-pity I wonder how long must I wait to meet my significant other… Yet, God is so perfectly amazing!  As I shared with you last week my sentiments regarding the conference God through my friend provided such sustenance.  It’s always nice to get a male view on single life.  Here are some of my friend's thoughts, may they help you as they did me…

 
“Penny, I am grateful to have met you and I thank you for sharing your wonderful experiences. Do not worry...Do not be afraid... Someone will show up when you least expect it.  Here is the key and it's an odd one: Don't tread on I need to find someone now.  The Lord will provide. I say this because I am on a Catholic dating site and since 2013 I decided to focus on growing in my faith and seeking more of the truth and embracing it.  Part of the reason of attending the cruise in January was to get advice from Father and Anthony about when to disclose Aspergers (which I have).  The other reason was to meet single folks like you to know that I am not alone.  During the cruise, I would have loved to have met someone significantly special but I felt it was important to stay in my region and find someone near where I live.

I have been on a dating site over ten years and had a couple of dates locally as a result… I found peace last year that if it’s the Lord’s will for me to meet someone it will happen in His time and He will let me know.  Apparently it is now that time.  I officially have my first girlfriend ever!  We had a second meet up in early August over a marathon two days and it was awesome.  There's that saying don't tell God your plans because He has His own and I would say that is definitely true!  I was set on wanting to meet someone in a 50 - 100 mile radius of where I live- knowing face-to-face is important.  Well, this person is from north St. Louis in Bowling Green, Missouri and I feel like I am blessed right now.  It is early but I see real good signs.

Point being...don't get swept by time clocks, by society, by the I got to get married tomorrow mindset, etc.  Receive the sacraments, go to adoration, grow in faith, know there are others out there like you and the Lord may surprise you.

Also, I think I shared with you most recently that your essays about bipolar and anxiety have inspired me.  I deal with high functioning Aspergers and have difficulty picking up nonverbal clues when someone might be into me (talking about past experiences) or might misread verbal/flirting cues for something more.  I misread stuff like that in the past.  For example, when someone was hanging out and dancing with me at a Catholic function and another time when a friend held my hand at times at the fair.  I thought they had an emotional liking to me and that was not the case.  The fair is not in the safest neighborhood of Little Rock so they wanted to feel safe (hence grabbing my hand).  But flirting I have majorly misread and it has caused problems in the past. As a result, I try not to read into things when meeting people who might want to dance with me. I say this, because people like me may need other cues to hone in on your signals so I ask that you keep that in the back of your head.  The guy should pursue, but some guys (who struggle with Aspergers) misread things and then as a result get really conservative and hold back socially (in terms of showing emotion).  I am definitely making the one who I am dating a very important VIP and am pursuing her as a guy should since she understands autism and has been very clear in her communication even cluing me in on our recent outing.  I know you will leave it in the Lord's arms and I will be praying for you.  Just remember sometimes that special someone will come when you least expect it.”

Your Brother in Christ,

Lud (from The Adventures of Lud)

Isn’t his insight fantastic!  His testimony inspires hope and offers so much good advice.  His tidbits on showing interest, the confusion that flirting causes and keeping a long distance relationship alive make me smile.  And his admission concerning Aspergers is heartlfelt.  I hope that as this letter helped me- may it also encourage you my readers.  God’s love!