I Fall in Love in Spanish

Spanish is my first language and thus I experience a lot of my life in a different tongue away from English.  While now I can express myself more clearly in English- Spanish is my emotional tongue.  I get angry in Spanish, I get inspired in Spanish, I love Mass in Spanish and I fall in love in Spanish…  Any good Mexican knows that we have our artists that when we are in the depths of despair a bottle of tequila or a Corona and a good Vicente Fernandez or Ramon Ayala song is our temporary cure (smile).  As much as I have acculturated into American society- I have never found a communal artist that all Americans turn to in their hour of need.  Years ago, I was going through some heart aches and my brother (in heaven) returned with a twelve pack and turned the stereo on to some of those gut wrenching tunes and once I was under the influence I spilled my heart out to him.  That became our usual when one saw the other sad we followed our little ritual.  Some of the best conversations I had with him were while consuming a beer and listening to Mexican Classics.  To this day, I visit his grave and take my little stereo and listen to songs with him and we have our chats (smile). 

The Mexican culture is full of passion, unity and celebration.  Yet, while I found more Christian ways of dealing with my problems rather than getting drunk- I still turn to my musicians when I am suffering from unrequited love.  Am not sure if you have ever listened to a Mariachi or Norteña song, but the best Mexican artists put so much heart into their singing that their voice emulates the pain and soul of the lyrics.  The power and depth of their voice just reaches the heart of my heart and for the length of the song I feel a companion equally in the state of hurt that I am in.  A few years ago my brother-in-law gave me front row tickets to my first Vicente Fernandez concert and this Mexican icon- WOW – he’s a true Mexican ranchero! He exudes masculinity and a positive level of machismo. And he drinks tequila as he performs his set of songs! BEST CONCERT OF MY LIFE! It’s as if the Tequila fuels the despair and influences the agony in his voice.

When I started my conversion with Jovenes para Cristo – they gave a talk on the power of music and how as we walk with the Lord we need to be objective and cautious in regards to the music we listen to- because some music goes against our faith.  While Mexican Regional Music is usually accompanied by alcohol and encourages drunkenness- I still love the genre.  It gets me the way poetry and books get me.  I remember after the talk on music I was so angry that these people were trying to regulate my music selection and I voiced my opinion.  In my pride I vowed at that moment to never let “these fundamentalist” dictate my personal choices.  Years, later I began to understand how real art should always lead us towards God- it should unite us to Him opening a realm of communication and connection.  I still listen to my Mexican music and I won’t ever stop listening to it, however now I try to listen to it without getting drunk.  In addition, I no longer use music to add salt to my wounds nor to dwell in my pain refusing to heal.  In my extended family alcoholism is an epidemic and I have seen many family members repeat the vicious cycle throughout the years using music and alcohol to avoid facing problems. In doing so, evading growth and the pattern has been repeated with their offspring.  They gather on weekends to get drunk with this music.  Maybe they know no better, but Christ teaches us to change, to grow, to heal.  Most of the time music is not the problem it's how we use it that creates havoc.  To me Mexican Rancheras, Norteñas & Banda songs open the door to heaven- my soul rejoices with these classic ballads (smile). 

This one goes out to my one-and-only where ever you are (wink).

"Hermoso cariño. Que Dios me ha mandado nomás para mí."