Catholic Single Events

This coming weekend am driving to San Diego for the National Catholic Singles Conference and am super excited because am reuniting with some of my out-of-state friends!  Am looking forward to the spiritual talks, moments with God and just having fun with friends.  Attending these single events is always a great experience when one goes with the proper mentality- that is to enjoy the company of other believers and to give God all expectation of meeting your-one-and-only.  I’ve seen women (at events like these) that are so desperate to meet potential suitors that they ignore everyone and are out like hunters stalking their prey.  Yet, one of the virtues that all Christians must cultivate is patience.  Yesterday, I was having a conversation with baby Jesus and again I asked Him to choose my husband- I want the man God wants for me.  As I talked to Him about my future spouse I realized that if I truly believe that God will choose my husband then it’s all a matter of time- God’s time - and I don’t have to be out desperately looking for my significant other.  He will arrive, he will recognize me and I will recognize him - when God wills it (smile).

My life is beautiful and full of blessings- God provides in abundance.  Thus, as I wait to meet my one-and-only I am working on myself trying to become a woman worthy of my husband to be.  I am bettering my mind with study, am trying to eat healthier, am working on healing psychological issues from previous hurts, am becoming a better lover, a better Catholic- over all a better human being.  I have even signed up for a class to learn how to make cookies and am looking into learning how to cook- so that I can have some of the homely skills a wife requires.  Time goes by, and as I wait for him who my heart desires – I wait actively without losing my peace or my trust in God.

Though, I do understand that at these singles events sometimes one can get frustrated – maybe even feel disappointment like our prayers and actions are not bearing fruits.  I mean I usually end up befriending most of the women since in my comfort I gravitate towards the ones that I am most at ease with (smile).  And I hate small talk am no good at it- which doesn’t help the courting situation (sigh).  In addition, sometimes the men also seem a bit clueless or lack assertiveness in taking the lead in initiating contact with the opposite sex.  Which usually has to do with fear from humiliating or hurtful rejections in the past.  For which I am terribly sorry and would like to apologize right now for the lack of sensitivity we women sometimes express in situations where instead of letting you down gently we step all over you self-esteem.  The thing is that beginnings are complicated- even when events are geared towards facilitating the dating process- we must leave our comfort zone and take a leap of faith - literally! 

I was reading this article in which Catholic men had been interviewed on why they don’t purse and in addition to the fear of rejection, humiliation, women not sending clear signals- another top reason is that in a single’s group - if he has been rejected by a girl already he doesn’t think it wise to pursue another woman in the group.  While I see the honor in trying to avoid causing hurt feelings or gossip within the group by vowing not to approach anyone else in the community I think that with prayer, the passage of time and God’s direction this shouldn’t be an issue.  I think women know how to distinguish when men are just going down the list of single girls.  I also believe that sometimes God opens our eyes to a person that has been there all along… Gosh- I think I rambled quite enough today…