Dear Penny

I have been asked for my female point-of-view on a few questions on relationships and here is a post with my ramblings, opinions and answers.  Thanks for asking and I hope this helps (smile).

Is she too busy to date?

A few months ago I received an email about how some men when they look at a woman’s profile on a dating website and see that she has a litany of activities that she is involved in- they wonder if she will have any time for dating.  I am usually quite busy myself: serving in parish ministry & events, participating in season two of baseball, social affairs, keeping a happy dog, reading, studying, blogging, spending time with my family and working full time.  Since I returned to that Catholic Church I have never been busier- but even with all the activities that I have I must say that if a girl doesn’t make time in her schedule for you the reality is that she’s most likely not into you or she’s not ready to date.  Jesus teaches us to live in the present and if we are single that means we have more time to devote to missionary work and for study.  We differ from people in relationships because we only have to worry about ourselves and we have the freedom to do as we like.  Thus, some women (and men for that matter) take advantage of the single life as a season to volunteer, grow in God and serve.  However, when I fall for someone my priorities will shift to include my beloved in my life and I can confidently say that if some activities must be sacrificed to fit him in they will.  That’s what love does it sacrifices for the other person.  Thus, the answer to this question is that no matter how busy her life might appear if she’s into you and ready to date she will make time in her day and life for you (smile).

What about long distance relationships?

Another challenging area is long distance- for this one I think that it varies from person to person.  I don’t mind the miles apart because I was raised in a setting were long distance relationships were very common and successful.  In the little town in Mexico where I lived a lot of women were in long distance relationships with men that had crossed the border into the United States for work.  My dad, in fact spent many years here while sending money and keeping his relationship with my mother (in Mexico) alive until he arranged everything for us to join him here.  I think now-a-days with the advances in technology dating long distance is bit easier.

Is it a date or hanging out?

When asking a woman out on a date clarify the intent.  Let her know from the beginning that you don’t want to be in the friend zone.  At the end of the date say something like: "I had a lot of fun on our date or I’d like to take you out again as more than just friends, would that be ok?" This will help avoid a lot of confusion and hurt feelings.

Continue asking questions, until the next Dear Penny.