You are Worth Pursuing

I woke up this morning a bit nostalgic and as I drove to work one of my favorite songs came on.  The sad lyrics of Vicente Fernandez and Angelica Maria accompanied by Mariachi music transported me to a time when I was full of pride.  My pride was so great that if a person hurt me once I kicked them right out of my life.  My Brother in Heaven used to tell me that I had a very difficult personality and that if I didn’t change I was destined for a life of suffering and loneliness.  “Yo Quiero,” was an anthem to the way I loved- at first the song begins with beautiful words, but towards the middle it takes a turn – the lover tells the beloved that she will not stand for “limosnas de un cariño” (for a alms of affection) that if he won’t love her completely than he can depart because she won’t force him to love her nor will she stand for his (love) charity.  It ends with her telling him that she has lost people she’s loved more so he leaving won’t destroy her.  Wow! Lyrically I still love this song and it hits me every time I listen to it.  Before I thought it was full of pride because the lover won’t settle for mediocre love, and she tells him that she would rather lose him than accept his leftovers…

Pictures from a fundraising event for the animal shelter I am volunteering at.

Now looking at it from my current spiritual state I realize that God teaches us to not settle for crumbs in love.  He asks us to love Him above all and completely.  He encourages us to not be lukewarm- but either hot or cold.  In matters of love you either love the person or you don’t- anything in the middle is unacceptable and extremely painful.  Yet, love begins with us giving our hearts to God and from there no matter how heartbreaking our human love stories conclude we will not shatter nor fall apart because God above all has our hearts.  The other day I saw a quote on a friends Facebook wall and it said, “Never let a man tell you, you are not worth pursuing.  For God became man, died and rose again just to pursue you.  You are worth pursuing, you are beautiful, you are loved.”  In Jesus we have examples of His complete commitment to humankind – being God, He became one of us.  While He walked on earth, Jesus gave completely of Himself- through example He gave the most powerful witness of love. 

As the Chente duet goes- don’t settle for bits of love from someone who isn’t ready or doesn’t want to give of himself completely.  Press on, knowing that if God has your heart in His keeping- these pangs of unrequited love will soon heal.  

September Fest

Love requires a response - it requires action or it will rot like stagnant water.  The type of action it requires varies from condition, circumstance or person.  Last night, I was reading a bit on Juan Diego (the visionary of La Virgen de Guadalupe) and I was amazed at his full obedience.  Even when Juan Diego feared that his beloved uncle would perish or when he confronted leaders that rejected his message he did as he was instructed…  On Sunday, we reflected on “The Parable of The Two Sons” and as we recall the father asks his two sons for help in the vineyard and gets both a positive and a negative response from his children. One, says he will do as his father has asked but doesn’t follow through.  The other says he won’t do it, but ends up helping.  What good are words if they lack action?  How weak love is that only thinks of pretty things to say- but never does a thing for the beloved?  The first son answers positively, but his actions betray the meaning.  The second son says, “no I won’t,” but then he repents, has an inner conversion and goes to help his father.  The first time I heard this parable at a church service my mom turned to me and whispered, “I believe you are the second type, for you say no all the time and always end up helping me.”  Though the second son the one who does what his father asks is the better of the two – it still saddens me that at first he said no.  

Now, a little more learned in God’s word I realize that it’s of great importance for the second son to say no before doing what his father asks because we ALL do this.  I said no to God for many years as I lived in exile, but the day came when I repented and converted.  Even now as a practicing Catholic there are days when I find it really hard to obey God – to say yes to Him… But it is scriptures like these where God shows us that no matter how much we struggle or how much we resist He knows our ability and believes in us!  And, here’s the biggie – that even if it takes an initial no for us to eventually get to a yes- He won’t reprimand us for momentarily rejecting Him, but applaud our desire to be converted - to change and to grow!  While not all of us have the confidence to obey instruction like Juan Diego- God too smiles at those who hesitate initially (smile).

This gospel reading took an even stronger meaning – this Saturday during Vigil Mass. After working for over fourteen hours at our parish’s September Fest and closing the day of service with this specific scripture I understood that expressing my love for my beloved in actions is so rewarding. I had so much fun- and not just me, but all the volunteers that sacrificed their Saturday to work for the good of our parish had smiles that brightened their tired faces. Words are beautiful – but without action they have no strength. It’s easy to tell someone you love them, but without actions from both parties the words lose power- and eventually fade. Love is more than hearts and butterflies just look at the cross, He died for us! His love was so powerful that after His legacy of instruction was completed, He did the greatest thing anyone could do for us - He battled  and defeated death on the cross to create a path for us, His children... 

Our Parish Priests getting arrested.

Letter to My One and Only

Amor,

I care about you- there I said it.  Since my brother died I have been living my life without regrets and I don’t want to regret not telling you that.  I am not sure if we have already met or if we will soon- but I am so looking forward to falling in love with you (SMILE).  At nights before I fall asleep you are my last thought as I ask God to take care of you and keep you safe (Dios te cuide y bendiga).  Every day that passes a little more love is stored to be given the moment you arrive.  I’ve lit candles, prayed novenas and rosaries so you can follow the illuminated path of prayer towards me because my heart rests in Gods…   There in His arms mi corazón is learning to be at peace and content during my wait.  A friend said that I should make a list of the man I want- listing characteristics of what I find attractive so that I will recognize you better when we come across each other… But, love doesn’t restrict and I want to love you freely without human limitations.  I want to imitate our Heavenly Father in loving – and I know He has no list of His beloved, He just loves.  And if God has no list -who am I to make one?  So, instead of a list I decided to write a letter in case you are reading and need to be uplifted in knowing that I am waiting and saving myself for you.  Remember that when you are feeling extra pessimistic I have been praying for you and I never cease thinking of you- so that you will never feel forgotten.  In me you are alive every moment as you make your way into my arms where I will cover you in kisses.  Press on my dear for you are nearing- my heart feels you getting closer… 

I was created to help sanctify you and you for me… Thus, no matter how forlorn the path towards me becomes look not directly at the obstacles, but the love that awaits and has been waiting just for you.  A love so authentic it has your name and your name only written across my being.  I am waiting, take courage and know that even without a list I will know when you arrive for God will tell me it is you who He gives to me.  Don’t fear that I will give my heart to anyone else – for God would never allow it.  His plan is perfect trust in Him- especially when the enemy wants to stir doubt and insecurity.  Even if you have been waiting for me for quite some time, know that God has been preparing me for you- helping me learn to love in a less human way and healing me of the brokenness that past hurts have left in me.  I know you pray for me and I thank you for that (smile).

If you are reading this – I might as well say it if you haven’t already figured it out I am the mushiest person in the world!  And though I have tried to be more reasonable in love- my heart yearns for romance.  And though I am learning to be more logical (so that I won’t get hurt when I confuse you with the wrong man) I want to love you actively and expressively – so be forewarned that many hugs, caresses, kisses and poetic words await you.  God has taught me to love more authentically and in a manner that humanist would never understand - for love is a sure sign of heaven!  Thus, be happy and secure in your journey towards me for I am waiting calmly in the heart of God…

I love you to infinity and beyond,

Tu Amada      

Jesus Loves Us Too

For some time now I have been wanting to join an organization that serves animals- and on Sunday I finally was able to make this dream come true. I attended an orientation with the Animal Assistance League of Orange County and am now one of their volunteers- I will be helping weekly with clerical duties while I train to work with their rescued dogs. Am super excited about this opportunity because I love animals (specifically dogs) and am a proud supporter of no kill shelters. The center helps the community in so many neat ways: with their lost and found helpline, spay and neuter assistance, pet aid for low income families, humane education, animal abuse referral and no kill shelter. The center currently has forty-five dogs and over sixty-five cats! On Sunday I got to tour the grounds and I think I am in danger of adopting a couple dogs, which I hear is very common for volunteers to end with a few permanent animals (wink).

The areas I am more interested in getting involved are hands-on working with the doggies and humane education. As an educator, I believe a lot of problems are caused due to ignorance and education is part of the solution. Every year one million cats and dogs enter California shelters and each year 500,000 are put to death! Those statistics are scary! Thus, spay and neuter your pets.

“Let us do good to everyone” Galatians chapter six verse ten.  As Christians we are called to a life of service and that includes God’s creation too.  Sometimes when I talk about animal rights in Christian settings I get people who think that devoting my resources to help causes away from human rights is frivolous and a waste of time.  Yet, I am a firm believer in the body of Christ- and I believe each of us has a mission and is equipped with the tools to complete that mission.  A strong desire in a particular area of service is God pointing you in the direction He wants you to serve.  Each of us has specific talents and together we make a fully functioning body of Christ.  If everyone was a doctor all the other areas of need would be neglected – thus we need human, social, world and animal activist.  Together our work covers many areas of need because “the harvest is vast…”  

 

In the Hands of God

On Saturday, I spontaneously decided to drive to Mission San Gabriel Archangel.  I got in my car, put my favorite worship music cd and began a half day retreat with God- just the two of us.  During the forty-five minute drive I sang along some of my favorite worship songs and talked with God about life.  I got to tour the mission and learn more about the Franciscan Friars and their involvement in helping many indigenous people discover God and lead thousands towards Christian Conversion.  This is an active mission and when I arrived the place was full of activity, a few baptisms were taking place- yet I was able to find solitude in the garden square.  Among giant cacti and fruit trees I united my being to God and continue to discover Him… Growing up in a Catholic family in Mexico my understanding of prayer was very limited; I thought repeating words in a certain order at certain times covered the definition of prayer- and thus, I found this exercise quite unfulfilling and boring. 

Prayer is dialogue with God.  You want to get to know Him more and you want to understand His will better so you unite your being to His in prayer.  For example, when you like a person you want to get to know them better so you Google them and check their social media pages in hopes of finding out more about them.  In other words you study that person- much like one reads books on Christian spirituality & the Bible hoping to know God better.  Then you start talking to that person via email, text, over the phone or in person to continue getting to know them. Then you ask that person on a date and began to do things together to build that relationship.  Prayer is all that- with God!  He wants to be known by you and prayer makes that happen.  Thus, when you think of prayer know that the object is to be in communion with God and not how well or elaborate you can recite devotions.

On Saturday, from the moment I got in my car I started my dialogue with God and it took the shape of various types of communication.  We sang, we studied Franciscan Spirituality, I recited prayers and lit a candle for a special intention and just bared my soul to Him.  I was quiet and I listened.  The whole morning went by so fast and all weekend I was so affected by this moment of communion with God.  Immediately I felt and saw the fruits of dedicating time to be with my beloved Father- for God loves to give.  I spent time with Him and He poured His gifts into me and all weekend (even now) I feel so strong and at peace (smile).  

Dear Penny

I have been asked for my female point-of-view on a few questions on relationships and here is a post with my ramblings, opinions and answers.  Thanks for asking and I hope this helps (smile).

Is she too busy to date?

A few months ago I received an email about how some men when they look at a woman’s profile on a dating website and see that she has a litany of activities that she is involved in- they wonder if she will have any time for dating.  I am usually quite busy myself: serving in parish ministry & events, participating in season two of baseball, social affairs, keeping a happy dog, reading, studying, blogging, spending time with my family and working full time.  Since I returned to that Catholic Church I have never been busier- but even with all the activities that I have I must say that if a girl doesn’t make time in her schedule for you the reality is that she’s most likely not into you or she’s not ready to date.  Jesus teaches us to live in the present and if we are single that means we have more time to devote to missionary work and for study.  We differ from people in relationships because we only have to worry about ourselves and we have the freedom to do as we like.  Thus, some women (and men for that matter) take advantage of the single life as a season to volunteer, grow in God and serve.  However, when I fall for someone my priorities will shift to include my beloved in my life and I can confidently say that if some activities must be sacrificed to fit him in they will.  That’s what love does it sacrifices for the other person.  Thus, the answer to this question is that no matter how busy her life might appear if she’s into you and ready to date she will make time in her day and life for you (smile).

What about long distance relationships?

Another challenging area is long distance- for this one I think that it varies from person to person.  I don’t mind the miles apart because I was raised in a setting were long distance relationships were very common and successful.  In the little town in Mexico where I lived a lot of women were in long distance relationships with men that had crossed the border into the United States for work.  My dad, in fact spent many years here while sending money and keeping his relationship with my mother (in Mexico) alive until he arranged everything for us to join him here.  I think now-a-days with the advances in technology dating long distance is bit easier.

Is it a date or hanging out?

When asking a woman out on a date clarify the intent.  Let her know from the beginning that you don’t want to be in the friend zone.  At the end of the date say something like: "I had a lot of fun on our date or I’d like to take you out again as more than just friends, would that be ok?" This will help avoid a lot of confusion and hurt feelings.

Continue asking questions, until the next Dear Penny.

World Vision: Sarai

Good Morning, Happy Mexican Independence Day!  Since yesterday I spoke about ways I serve God in my community I decided that today I would continue sharing another way that if you don’t have the time to volunteer you can still do good.  Jesus tells us that where our treasure is there our hearts will also be; thus, I try to use my money on others too.  I stumbled on World Vision four years ago at a Women of Faith conference and since then I have sponsored two girls.  After Wajifa, my first sponsor child, moved away from the community that World Vision serves I was assigned my current child, Sarai.  For thirty-five dollars a month my little girl, her family and her community get food, education & medical care.  On a yearly basis I get updates of my child in a form of a report and a current picture.  I have the option of writing to her as many letters as I please and sending her small gifts.  This experience has been so rewarding every time I get a letter from her I get so excited!  Knowing that others are better because of my small contribution gives my life so much purpose!

Here’s my little adoptive angel- Sarai

She lives with her parents and has one brother.  Her house is constructed from bamboo, a metal roof and dirt floors.  When I began sponsoring her she was not in school, but thanks to my monthly contributions she now attends school and her favorite subjects include Bangla & drawing.  She’s a girlie girl (who like me) loves wearing dresses. Sarai enjoys drawing, playing with dolls, ice cream and aspires to be a doctor when she grows up. 

My sponsor commitment doesn’t just help my little girl – it also supports medical check-ups for the community as well as agricultural training to help parents provide sustainable crops.  My experience for the past four years has been really positive and rewarding and I encourage you to look into sponsoring a child. 

My World Vision Girls

A Life of Service

I had quite a busy weekend serving God- between ticket sales for our parish September Fest and RCIA under the hot-hot sun my weekend came to pass.  Serving God in different ministries has fueled my desire for conversion and has also help redirect my focus from self towards others.  During our first classes of RCIA I already see God working in the hearts of many – I saw a couple women shed tears as they began to open up to God and to bring their lives to the cross.  There’s so much pain in the world and as Christians we are called to aid those in trouble and hurting- that’s why service in the life of a Christian is as important as the interior spiritual growth process.  Since, my conversion I have held many volunteer positions serving as: a prayer warrior for Jovenes Para Cristo, event coordinator for Saint Francis Senior Home, secretary of the Santa Barbara Parish Hispanic Council, core member of Life Teen and now RCIA catechist.  In my short time serving Jesus in more organized ways He has revealed to me that helping others is a double positive both for the receiver and the giver because there’s such a heavenly satisfaction giving of yourself for the good of another.  

On the second day of RCIA, a lady in my small group cried as she expressed her emptiness, her pain and her desire to be healed from all previous hurts which still affect her today.  As I sat there listening to her testimony and as I led the activity- I felt like my life has purpose because God is able to use me to help others.  It made waking up early on a Sunday and spending four hours in a confined room without air conditioning on a very hot day worth every minute.  While the world offers ways of improving your life by doing things focused on you – I have found that when I shift my focus from self towards others my life finds meaning and purpose.  After all Jesus came to serve not to be served and we as His followers need to adopt His mentality.  

All I Want is You

There was a dark period sometime after my brother died that I started really abusing alcohol.  I would party from Thursday through Sunday.  Usually clubs, dancing and a lot of alcohol were my coping formula.  Things got so bad that I got kicked out of clubs because I would get so wasted that I couldn’t even walk- my best friend would have to help me use the restroom and how we got home without an accident really was providence.  On Mondays, I would regret the stupid things I did while under the influence – I would look at myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize my reflection.  I feared my parents and family finding out the things I was involved in because I didn’t want to disappoint them.  But when I was drunk and being the fool nothing else mattered- it numbed my inhibitions and I became the life of the party – I was happy until I hit the bed at night and the pain was amplified by the alcohol.  The next morning as I recalled the things I did I would hate myself.  In the shower I would try to wash the sin away- but as soon as Thursday came around the same pattern was repeated…

I was raised in a manner that I knew how to distinguish the good from the bad and yet for years I couldn’t walk away from the party life.  For a couple years, in between the drunken nights I began attending services and sit at weekly spiritual lectures at an Old Catholic Church.  Hungover I would wake up every Sunday with the desire to open myself to God, sometimes the worship music or the sermon would bring me to tears- but the more I felt God calling me out of the dung the more I resisted.  I felt like in order to have God I would have to give up way too much.  I would have to give up the drinking, the partying the fun… I have met others who are at this point in their walk where they feel God calling, but feel like He’s asking for way too much - way more than He will provide in return.  The truth is that God does want a lot.  He wants each of us personally to surrender to Him or rather for each of us to personally offer and give ourselves and our lives to Him (out of our own willingness).  That’s pretty darn scary!  Especially when we perceive Him out of our own brokenness and limitations- out of our own experiences with other people who have hurt us, rejected and even broken us.  Giving someone our heart is terrifying that’s why love is such a supremacy.  The thing with God is that whatever you give Him however little that might be He redeems it and gives you back so much more. 

In my ignorance I thought God wanted to kill all my pleasure and would take from me all those things I so enjoyed doing- because sin can be so much fun.  What I have discovered is that while He asks for a lot He gives back so much more.  He has taken things from me- but it has been those things I needed to be rid of like: pride, hurt, anger, impatience, vengence...- And He has given me joy, peace, patience, forgiveness, some humility and so much love.  In addition, He’s shaped my mind and has given me a different perspective- a peaceful, constant happiness.  He can do the same for you- all that baggage of vile negativity you carry that’s what He wants you to surrender so that He in turn can fill and build you up.  Take the dive into His arms you won't regret it.

Like I'm Going to Lose You

We do so many things in life (or stop from doing some) to avoid rejection.  We hide, we withhold, we pretend, we lie… to avoid the hurt that might come from taking a risk.  This is most evident in the area of romantic love.  People hurt us and we retreat into our safe haven… I used to spend days, months even years wondering and hoping to understand the why of unrequited love.  Why doesn’t he feel the same way?  Yet, no answer ever satisfied the longing to be loved by the one my heart had chosen.  As I grew in God – I spent many hours on my knees asking God to provide a lover someone I could love and be reciprocated.  I appealed to my God in the most specific manner- giving Him the name of the one I hoped would become my one-and-only and one by one God said, “no.”  Each negation hurt immensely and as the feeble being I am I yelled at God in moments of intense mourning.  Recently I was in adoration and I was having one of those moments of poor little me and I questioned Him, “Why is it that I come here at your feet and I leave feeling crushed as if You don’t care- as if this moment together went against Your promises of sustenance."  In my anger my doubts rose and I became quiet the cynic in His presence.  I waited for an answer and only silence filled my being.  I left His presence downhearted and alone.  Later that night when the storm in me had calmed I began to listen to a Christian audio study, Never Give Up.  As the speaker began she started with “you should doubt your doubts.”  At times in moments of hurt I retaliate against God and wonder if He truly exists and if living a Christian life is not just part of an ancient sham.  Yet, without God everything is meaningless.  I need God like I need air to breathe- without Him I would cease to exist!  Yet, never in my periods of doubting Thomas syndrome have I challenged my doubts or doubted their authenticity.

Christianity and specifically Jesus has been my salvation.  He has gotten me out of the darkest hours of my life and while at times I have difficulty relating, understanding and believing in God the Father and God the Holy Spirit- in Jesus I ALWAYS believe.  I never doubt that He is truly God and truly man.  As I began to challenge the doubts and began to submerge and deepen into the promises of God: I realized two things one that the truth God offers is pretty fantastic and two that doubt brings growth. I understood that every “no” is a step closer to the “yes” I crave to hear (SMILE).  And it also helped me to realize that what I should always crave and desire is for more of His love.  Sometimes I forget that He is God and that to Him all things are truly possible for He is the Creator of heaven and earth.

I could use a fresh beginning too, because all I want is love and to show my beloved (whether that be my parent, sibling, friend or hopefully one day my spouse) that I love them like He first loved me.  Don’t ever be too scared to show someone that you care and that you love them- don’t let rejection be an obstacle.  I am falling more in love with God every day and letting go of all things that I held on to- so that I can live as I was meant to- without fear and empowered by His love.    

"In the blink of an eye

Just a whisper of smoke

You could lose everything

The truth is you never know...

So I'm going to love you like I'm going to lose you

And I'm going to hold you like I'm saying goodbye"

Universal Church

Have you ever seen a Mexican do the sign of the cross during mass?  It looks quite like anyone else until we reach the end. The usual process is “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit” with the correspondent hand movements forehead, middle of breast, left shoulder and finally completing the cross at the right shoulder. Usually Americans finish there and place their hands back on their sides, but we Mexicanos seal it with a kiss; forehead, middle of breast, left shoulder, right shoulder and kiss. I hadn’t realized this small difference until I started attending Mass in English and noticed that I was the only one finishing the sign of the cross with a kiss.  At first I thought maybe I should stop this cultural variance, but the more I thought about it the more I liked ending with a kiss (smile).  It just seems more Christian to throw a kiss in the process and that extra step conveyed my alliance to my Mexican culture and just our loving nature.  A few weeks ago I returned to the Hispanic Catholic Community to serve as an RCIA leader and at our first team meeting I was greeted with hugs and kisses, though some of us were meeting each other for the first time we hugged and kissed each other.  It was so nice, the affection immediately made us friends and comfortable with one another.

Father during the Homily and the blessing of our crosses.

When we met with Father to go over the work plan for the RCIA year, he asked us to be part of the Mass of Send Off.  Together with the rest of the catechists we planned on wearing coordinating black and white outfits as a sign of union to celebrate the Eucharistic celebration.  During Sunday Mass Father interjected a brief ceremony placing a cross on each of us as a blessing for the work we have ahead of us as teachers of God’s truth.  It was really simple and took no more than a few minutes in the liturgical celebration – in addition, in his homily he encouraged us, parents and families to take our spiritual roles seriously.  I was left with a feeling of deep unity with my brothers in Christ, my community and my church leader.  I have noticed a difference between cultural communities and this post is not to say that one community is better than the other in worshipping and serving God--- I just think there’s so much richness in the universal church. 

Father placing the wooden cross on each of us.

First service I see my brother serving as a Eucharistic Minister (Super Awesome)!

In my young adult group one of my friends suggested that our small group should take advantage of the cultural mecca we have in Southern California and to try to go to services in different languages and of different cultures within the Catholic Church.  Every culture has traditions that are so beautiful and ways of honoring God that deepen my connection and relationship with Him.  At Vietnamese services they sing all the prayers (beautifully) and though I don’t understand what they are singing my heart rejoices when I attend their services.  One of the blessings of being Catholic as opposed to Protestant is our universal church- we are bound together in Christ and our church is larger than our small group, or the parish that we go to, or the diocese we belong to…  We are the church of Christ which transcends all limitations, barriers, cultures and walls!    

The RICA team and my wooden cross.

10 Signs She's Into You

A few days ago I was out with one of my good guy friends.  It was just the two of us at a bar having a beer - usually we prefer this setting for the deep conversations that we tend to have.  I was telling him about the Catholic Singles Conference and my disappointment.  I shared that I feel like I am not any good at sending signals to a guy when I am interested and asked for his advice.  After placing the loaded question of how can a girl show a guy that she’s interested in him- he told me that I needed to straight out and say it.  That men tend to miss all the signals because they are very simple creatures and their thought process differs from women greatly.  He said that men are not naturally detailed oriented – thus if a girl is sending messages most of the time they never reach them- they get lost in translation.  His advice was that honesty is the key.  Yet, our Catholic faith tells us single women to wait to be pursued... I did enjoy his male perspective and while am not sure how Catholic men would feel about women who straight-up tell them that they are into them- I decided to express my thoughts on the subject:

Signs a Woman is Interested in You:

1. She takes interest in the things that you are interested in.  Like if you enjoy reading Chesterton she will add more of his books to her reading list.
2. She spends time on you.  For example, if you tell her about a blog that you have she takes the time to read it and offers suggestions.
3. She looks you up on Facebook. If you find evidence that she’s been looking at old photos, comments, she’s searching for information about you.
4. She asks for your help.  If a woman is into you she will seek your help and advice with a problem or a project - sometimes she will even pretend to need your help (wink).
5. She responds quickly to your messages. 
   
6. She compliments you (women usually are really good at complimenting each other but have very little practice complementing men, thus if she compliments you- it’s a good sign).
7. She gives you her undivided attention.
8. Body Language, she touches you often and doesn’t recoil when you accidentally touch each other.
9. She shows concern when she notices that you are having a difficult day.
10. She thinks you are funny and laughs at your jokes.

Times Past

On Saturday, I attended the Huntington Beach Civil War Days and was transported backwards in time to 1861.  The historical society recreates campsites and various scenarios to demonstrate what life was like during the Civil War Days.  I’ve always been drawn to people that live with passion and never settle to live a life as anyone other than themselves.  It takes courage to dance to the beat of one’s own drum.  As I toured the campsites, under the hot sun, the members of the historic society were so happy to share their knowledge and love of times past- and never refused photo requests.  I learned a great deal about the Civil War, but what I most enjoyed was being around passionate people!  Most of us especially when we are adolescents crave to fit in - to be the same as everyone else.  As a child of an alcoholic and growing up in a foreign country I often felt like the most alien person in the world.  I craved to be normal- to fit in.  This identity struggle and freakish self-perception have helped me to accept and admire people that are usually marginalized, shut out and ignored. 

God created such variety and am glad this diversity He also applied to the human race.  We are each so beautifully unique inside and out.  Each of us carries different talents and personalities that together strengthen the Body of Christ.  And when we tap into those talents without shame or fear to be different God’s light shines in and through us.  I saw this constant glow in all the actors at the reenactment.  They were beauty personified!  Life is so beautiful and so short!  At times I feel like I won’t have enough time to do everything in this world that inspires me- like one day joining a historical movement.  I have been wanting to join the Renaissance Faire because that’s one of my favorite periods in history, but time is my enemy.  Sometimes (and this comment comes with no biblical accuracy) when I think of heaven I imagine this eternal university where every day I will learn exciting new skills, like one day I will learn to sail a ship and another I will dance ballet… (SMILE)

Throughout my lifetime I have learned to accept myself, as odd as I am (wink), and to really love me- in doing so I have learned to value and love others.  With the help of God anything is possible.