All I Want is You

There was a dark period sometime after my brother died that I started really abusing alcohol.  I would party from Thursday through Sunday.  Usually clubs, dancing and a lot of alcohol were my coping formula.  Things got so bad that I got kicked out of clubs because I would get so wasted that I couldn’t even walk- my best friend would have to help me use the restroom and how we got home without an accident really was providence.  On Mondays, I would regret the stupid things I did while under the influence – I would look at myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize my reflection.  I feared my parents and family finding out the things I was involved in because I didn’t want to disappoint them.  But when I was drunk and being the fool nothing else mattered- it numbed my inhibitions and I became the life of the party – I was happy until I hit the bed at night and the pain was amplified by the alcohol.  The next morning as I recalled the things I did I would hate myself.  In the shower I would try to wash the sin away- but as soon as Thursday came around the same pattern was repeated…

I was raised in a manner that I knew how to distinguish the good from the bad and yet for years I couldn’t walk away from the party life.  For a couple years, in between the drunken nights I began attending services and sit at weekly spiritual lectures at an Old Catholic Church.  Hungover I would wake up every Sunday with the desire to open myself to God, sometimes the worship music or the sermon would bring me to tears- but the more I felt God calling me out of the dung the more I resisted.  I felt like in order to have God I would have to give up way too much.  I would have to give up the drinking, the partying the fun… I have met others who are at this point in their walk where they feel God calling, but feel like He’s asking for way too much - way more than He will provide in return.  The truth is that God does want a lot.  He wants each of us personally to surrender to Him or rather for each of us to personally offer and give ourselves and our lives to Him (out of our own willingness).  That’s pretty darn scary!  Especially when we perceive Him out of our own brokenness and limitations- out of our own experiences with other people who have hurt us, rejected and even broken us.  Giving someone our heart is terrifying that’s why love is such a supremacy.  The thing with God is that whatever you give Him however little that might be He redeems it and gives you back so much more. 

In my ignorance I thought God wanted to kill all my pleasure and would take from me all those things I so enjoyed doing- because sin can be so much fun.  What I have discovered is that while He asks for a lot He gives back so much more.  He has taken things from me- but it has been those things I needed to be rid of like: pride, hurt, anger, impatience, vengence...- And He has given me joy, peace, patience, forgiveness, some humility and so much love.  In addition, He’s shaped my mind and has given me a different perspective- a peaceful, constant happiness.  He can do the same for you- all that baggage of vile negativity you carry that’s what He wants you to surrender so that He in turn can fill and build you up.  Take the dive into His arms you won't regret it.

Like I'm Going to Lose You

We do so many things in life (or stop from doing some) to avoid rejection.  We hide, we withhold, we pretend, we lie… to avoid the hurt that might come from taking a risk.  This is most evident in the area of romantic love.  People hurt us and we retreat into our safe haven… I used to spend days, months even years wondering and hoping to understand the why of unrequited love.  Why doesn’t he feel the same way?  Yet, no answer ever satisfied the longing to be loved by the one my heart had chosen.  As I grew in God – I spent many hours on my knees asking God to provide a lover someone I could love and be reciprocated.  I appealed to my God in the most specific manner- giving Him the name of the one I hoped would become my one-and-only and one by one God said, “no.”  Each negation hurt immensely and as the feeble being I am I yelled at God in moments of intense mourning.  Recently I was in adoration and I was having one of those moments of poor little me and I questioned Him, “Why is it that I come here at your feet and I leave feeling crushed as if You don’t care- as if this moment together went against Your promises of sustenance."  In my anger my doubts rose and I became quiet the cynic in His presence.  I waited for an answer and only silence filled my being.  I left His presence downhearted and alone.  Later that night when the storm in me had calmed I began to listen to a Christian audio study, Never Give Up.  As the speaker began she started with “you should doubt your doubts.”  At times in moments of hurt I retaliate against God and wonder if He truly exists and if living a Christian life is not just part of an ancient sham.  Yet, without God everything is meaningless.  I need God like I need air to breathe- without Him I would cease to exist!  Yet, never in my periods of doubting Thomas syndrome have I challenged my doubts or doubted their authenticity.

Christianity and specifically Jesus has been my salvation.  He has gotten me out of the darkest hours of my life and while at times I have difficulty relating, understanding and believing in God the Father and God the Holy Spirit- in Jesus I ALWAYS believe.  I never doubt that He is truly God and truly man.  As I began to challenge the doubts and began to submerge and deepen into the promises of God: I realized two things one that the truth God offers is pretty fantastic and two that doubt brings growth. I understood that every “no” is a step closer to the “yes” I crave to hear (SMILE).  And it also helped me to realize that what I should always crave and desire is for more of His love.  Sometimes I forget that He is God and that to Him all things are truly possible for He is the Creator of heaven and earth.

I could use a fresh beginning too, because all I want is love and to show my beloved (whether that be my parent, sibling, friend or hopefully one day my spouse) that I love them like He first loved me.  Don’t ever be too scared to show someone that you care and that you love them- don’t let rejection be an obstacle.  I am falling more in love with God every day and letting go of all things that I held on to- so that I can live as I was meant to- without fear and empowered by His love.    

"In the blink of an eye

Just a whisper of smoke

You could lose everything

The truth is you never know...

So I'm going to love you like I'm going to lose you

And I'm going to hold you like I'm saying goodbye"

Universal Church

Have you ever seen a Mexican do the sign of the cross during mass?  It looks quite like anyone else until we reach the end. The usual process is “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit” with the correspondent hand movements forehead, middle of breast, left shoulder and finally completing the cross at the right shoulder. Usually Americans finish there and place their hands back on their sides, but we Mexicanos seal it with a kiss; forehead, middle of breast, left shoulder, right shoulder and kiss. I hadn’t realized this small difference until I started attending Mass in English and noticed that I was the only one finishing the sign of the cross with a kiss.  At first I thought maybe I should stop this cultural variance, but the more I thought about it the more I liked ending with a kiss (smile).  It just seems more Christian to throw a kiss in the process and that extra step conveyed my alliance to my Mexican culture and just our loving nature.  A few weeks ago I returned to the Hispanic Catholic Community to serve as an RCIA leader and at our first team meeting I was greeted with hugs and kisses, though some of us were meeting each other for the first time we hugged and kissed each other.  It was so nice, the affection immediately made us friends and comfortable with one another.

Father during the Homily and the blessing of our crosses.

When we met with Father to go over the work plan for the RCIA year, he asked us to be part of the Mass of Send Off.  Together with the rest of the catechists we planned on wearing coordinating black and white outfits as a sign of union to celebrate the Eucharistic celebration.  During Sunday Mass Father interjected a brief ceremony placing a cross on each of us as a blessing for the work we have ahead of us as teachers of God’s truth.  It was really simple and took no more than a few minutes in the liturgical celebration – in addition, in his homily he encouraged us, parents and families to take our spiritual roles seriously.  I was left with a feeling of deep unity with my brothers in Christ, my community and my church leader.  I have noticed a difference between cultural communities and this post is not to say that one community is better than the other in worshipping and serving God--- I just think there’s so much richness in the universal church. 

Father placing the wooden cross on each of us.

First service I see my brother serving as a Eucharistic Minister (Super Awesome)!

In my young adult group one of my friends suggested that our small group should take advantage of the cultural mecca we have in Southern California and to try to go to services in different languages and of different cultures within the Catholic Church.  Every culture has traditions that are so beautiful and ways of honoring God that deepen my connection and relationship with Him.  At Vietnamese services they sing all the prayers (beautifully) and though I don’t understand what they are singing my heart rejoices when I attend their services.  One of the blessings of being Catholic as opposed to Protestant is our universal church- we are bound together in Christ and our church is larger than our small group, or the parish that we go to, or the diocese we belong to…  We are the church of Christ which transcends all limitations, barriers, cultures and walls!    

The RICA team and my wooden cross.

10 Signs She's Into You

A few days ago I was out with one of my good guy friends.  It was just the two of us at a bar having a beer - usually we prefer this setting for the deep conversations that we tend to have.  I was telling him about the Catholic Singles Conference and my disappointment.  I shared that I feel like I am not any good at sending signals to a guy when I am interested and asked for his advice.  After placing the loaded question of how can a girl show a guy that she’s interested in him- he told me that I needed to straight out and say it.  That men tend to miss all the signals because they are very simple creatures and their thought process differs from women greatly.  He said that men are not naturally detailed oriented – thus if a girl is sending messages most of the time they never reach them- they get lost in translation.  His advice was that honesty is the key.  Yet, our Catholic faith tells us single women to wait to be pursued... I did enjoy his male perspective and while am not sure how Catholic men would feel about women who straight-up tell them that they are into them- I decided to express my thoughts on the subject:

Signs a Woman is Interested in You:

1. She takes interest in the things that you are interested in.  Like if you enjoy reading Chesterton she will add more of his books to her reading list.
2. She spends time on you.  For example, if you tell her about a blog that you have she takes the time to read it and offers suggestions.
3. She looks you up on Facebook. If you find evidence that she’s been looking at old photos, comments, she’s searching for information about you.
4. She asks for your help.  If a woman is into you she will seek your help and advice with a problem or a project - sometimes she will even pretend to need your help (wink).
5. She responds quickly to your messages. 
   
6. She compliments you (women usually are really good at complimenting each other but have very little practice complementing men, thus if she compliments you- it’s a good sign).
7. She gives you her undivided attention.
8. Body Language, she touches you often and doesn’t recoil when you accidentally touch each other.
9. She shows concern when she notices that you are having a difficult day.
10. She thinks you are funny and laughs at your jokes.

Times Past

On Saturday, I attended the Huntington Beach Civil War Days and was transported backwards in time to 1861.  The historical society recreates campsites and various scenarios to demonstrate what life was like during the Civil War Days.  I’ve always been drawn to people that live with passion and never settle to live a life as anyone other than themselves.  It takes courage to dance to the beat of one’s own drum.  As I toured the campsites, under the hot sun, the members of the historic society were so happy to share their knowledge and love of times past- and never refused photo requests.  I learned a great deal about the Civil War, but what I most enjoyed was being around passionate people!  Most of us especially when we are adolescents crave to fit in - to be the same as everyone else.  As a child of an alcoholic and growing up in a foreign country I often felt like the most alien person in the world.  I craved to be normal- to fit in.  This identity struggle and freakish self-perception have helped me to accept and admire people that are usually marginalized, shut out and ignored. 

God created such variety and am glad this diversity He also applied to the human race.  We are each so beautifully unique inside and out.  Each of us carries different talents and personalities that together strengthen the Body of Christ.  And when we tap into those talents without shame or fear to be different God’s light shines in and through us.  I saw this constant glow in all the actors at the reenactment.  They were beauty personified!  Life is so beautiful and so short!  At times I feel like I won’t have enough time to do everything in this world that inspires me- like one day joining a historical movement.  I have been wanting to join the Renaissance Faire because that’s one of my favorite periods in history, but time is my enemy.  Sometimes (and this comment comes with no biblical accuracy) when I think of heaven I imagine this eternal university where every day I will learn exciting new skills, like one day I will learn to sail a ship and another I will dance ballet… (SMILE)

Throughout my lifetime I have learned to accept myself, as odd as I am (wink), and to really love me- in doing so I have learned to value and love others.  With the help of God anything is possible.   

Encounter Christ

“Here I am down on my knees again surrendering all… Find me here, Lord as You draw me near, desperate for You… I surrender. Drench my soul as mercy and grace unfold I hunger and thirst, with arms stretched wide - I know You hear my cry, speak to me now. I surrender… I wanna know You more… Like a rushing wind, Jesus breathe within… Like a mighty storm, stir within my soul… Lord, have Your way; Lord, have Your way in me… I surrender…”  

People who have had a personal encounter with Christ are never the same again.  The conversion stories of Saint Francis of Assisi or Saint Agustin who after living a life of sin and excess leave everything to devote their entire lives to God and the church - or the conversion of Paul the Apostle who on his way to Damascus to arrest followers of Jesus has an encounter with God and from that moment becomes one of the most influential figures in Christianity are some of the greatest testimonies of encounter… On a cold day in early 2005 I had one of my first encounters with God.  My six-year relationship had just ended and I was left loving a man who didn’t want to be loved by me anymore and a couple months after the break-up my brother took his life.  I was the one that found him, the one that called the ambulance and the one that watched him die.  I had just graduated college and had quit three professional jobs unable to deal with the stress.  My undiagnosed bipolar has having the best of me and I suffered constant spells of deep depression to which I self-medicated with alcohol.  Literally, I was at one of the lowest points in my life and perhaps because I was so lost, so dejected, so vulnerable God found the door to my soul open.

It was a Saturday night in Big Bear, fifty of us were confined to a retreat center for a Retreat of Initiation given by an Old Catholic Church that I had just started attending.  It was night two of the retreat and after going through various talks and activities it was time for a night of deep prayer.  I remember it was dark and we were asked to close our eyes and this beautiful music was playing.  It sounded like angels were surrounding me and as the priest came over and prayed over me I had a vision.  I walked through this corridor of green flowers.  As I ran my hands over one side of the flower wall I noticed that I was barefoot because I could feel the wet earth beneath me. I saw my brother dressed like royalty with a crown on his head and this elaborate purple robe and he came towards me.  Then I saw Jesus surrounded by this comforting white light and He hugged me.  I remember that I held on to Jesus tightly and then I felt my brother hugging me from behind so that I was sandwiched in the middle of Jesus and my brother (SMILE).  From the day my brother passed I had asked God for a sign that my sibling was resting in a good place and at that moment embraced between Jesus and my brother I received my answer.

There have been other quite supernatural experiences that God has given me - always to draw me closer to Him and to confound me because He works especially in the areas where reason and factuality are dumfounded.  I share with you my first encounter with Christ- the moment that won me over.  Since- I can’t do no other thing than to follow Him… I surrender.   

Come To Me All Who Are Weary

I have been struggling with the worst case of fatigue this past week (one of the highlights of being bipolar) which means that I have been sleeping more than usual.  Last week I skipped on game one of season two of softball because I was just so exhausted!  I wish I had tips on how to overcome the tiredness, but other than “press on” with the activities that must get done like showing up and performing your job related duties- then rest.  I hate the time when this chronic fatigue overwhelms my life because activities, people and pets suffer.  My dog tends to look at me like come on am ready for my walk.  Luckily he is of a forgiving nature and if he just gets a fifteen minute rather pathetic walk he slides next to me and accompanies me in my slumber.  I try to make it up on days when I recuperate my energy levels, but at times I feel so guilty for my limitations.  The good thing is that I know enough about how the illness affects me by now that I am able to accept the tiredness and the over sleep as necessities during a few days a month.  There are times to fight symptoms and times to just surrender.  My psychologist and I decided to change one of the medications that I have been on because of my weight gain and so far I feel better on this new drug- I have also noticed that my fatigue spells are shorter so that’s optimistic (smile).

Recently I took on two new responsibilities.  One of my best friends invited me to help with RCIA for the Hispanic community this year at Santa Barbara Parish and at my current parish I am helping with ticket sales for our annual September Fest.  Thus, this past month has been a grueling time of preparatory meetings.  Maybe that’s part of the reason I am so tired (wink).  I am sharing this information because if I have commitments in my agenda ahead of time I am more likely –even in states of utter fatigue- to keep my responsibilities.  Though when I do show up my friends notice the change in me.  During periods of tiredness - physically I have no energy to invest in wearing make-up and devoting the minutes I normally do to look presentable.  I usually show up in dark colors, free of make-up with my hair in a bun.  While my physical appearance suffers so does my personality- I am quiet and can become easily irritable.  After years of dealing with these periods of fatigue I can now for the most part deal with the feelings in a more positive manner, before I would isolate myself from everything and everyone.  Now I try to keep my routine and my commitments for the most part- but it has taken a lot of years of practice.  There are still days when I crash, but now I know that it’s not laziness. 

During the periods of low energy I also need more alone time- for I charge my batteries in my moments of solitude.  I have been in therapy for almost a decade now and the experience has transformed me and equipped me with the tools I need to lead a normal life.  My spirituality and faith in God have also been motivators in my recovery.  When I was at my darkest hour in my life, I remember attending Jovenes Para Cristo meetings partly because one of the leaders in the prayer ministry would always give me a tight, warm hug.  Those hugs carried God’s saving and healing power- they helped carry me in moments of devastating frailty…  So if you see me around looking gloomy a hug will help (smile) there's just something so healing in the sense of touch.  We were meant to be hugged, kissed and loved.  

The Giver

When I began taking meds for my bipolar disorder the first time I was diagnosed I remember going from a really emotionally, intuitive person to feeling numb in matter of weeks.  At first I missed feeling sad and eventually I missed having intense emotions.  My ability to write faded too and I became this strange person devoid of emotions and devoid of creativity.  One of the reasons people with bipolar have such difficulty sticking to a medication routine is due to the loss of sensitivity that the medication causes.  Thus, I stopped the treatment and chose an emotional life… Yesterday, I went to the cinema on a date with myself to catch The Giver.  The film depicts this numbness and sedation of emotions- it creates a world of sameness and feelings are controlled with a daily vaccine.  Life in the isolated community is mundane and in a state of perpetual repetition.  While enjoying the film so many different things were going through my head- and a memory of my initial reaction to psychotic medications and treatment for a sadness that had long followed my existence flooded my being.  This great melancholy that lived in me had always been my companion – she had even become my devoted friend.  Thus, when the meds began to kill my depression I stopped treatment.  I fought for my miserable friend- but eventually I had to let her go so that I would heal and begin a healthy mind.  This personal experienced helped me understand the elders in the community of The Giver wanting to control emotions - for emotions can be dangerous without regulation… For over seven years- I have worked on teaching myself to be content, joyful and at peace.  I have labored on turning depression into joy and while I really have to work at being cheerful because sadness comes more natural to me- I am finally achieving an emotional balanced life.  After years, of fighting with the side effects of my medications I am able to write again and am no longer the robot that the treatment initially made me (smile).

Sometimes God speaks to me through art in such a clear voice and He shows me the hope of a life that chooses Him daily.  The movie did an excellent job showing a world lacking freewill and while at first the community appears to hold a utopian society- slowly we see that love no longer exists, nor choice, nor color nor anything that makes life so worth living.  The Giver gives Jonas (the protagonist) what God gives us every day- a sunrise to motivate us to wake up and blessing after blessing as each day progresses.  I am always in awe over creation because God could have made every living species less varied – yet there is so much beauty in all the idiosyncrasies He created! While the big excuse in The Giver as to why everything has to be regulated is so that people don’t make the “wrong choices,” love is a choice.  God could have made us into robots, but as anyone in love knows when someone gives you their heart nothing compares (smile).  He gave us the option to choose Him – that’s pretty magical!  

A Letter on Love

God is so wonderful- a friend I met on the cruise this year sent me the loveliest message as commentary to one of the National Catholic Single Conference posts.  After asking for permission to share some of his thoughts on my blog and getting his approval- I felt that some of his views needed to be stated as help and motivation for all my single friends.  At times I get the greatest desire to be caressed, to hug tightly and to share an intimate bond with a man- for as many of my friendships and blood bonds I am limited in my ways of showing affection.  For example, I can’t walk around holding my best friend's hand, nor can I ask her to caress my cheek – those types of affection are saved for a singular special person.  Sometimes, the desire for those intimate yearnings are so great that they begin to affect my mood and at times they steal my peace and in a moment of self-pity I wonder how long must I wait to meet my significant other… Yet, God is so perfectly amazing!  As I shared with you last week my sentiments regarding the conference God through my friend provided such sustenance.  It’s always nice to get a male view on single life.  Here are some of my friend's thoughts, may they help you as they did me…

 
“Penny, I am grateful to have met you and I thank you for sharing your wonderful experiences. Do not worry...Do not be afraid... Someone will show up when you least expect it.  Here is the key and it's an odd one: Don't tread on I need to find someone now.  The Lord will provide. I say this because I am on a Catholic dating site and since 2013 I decided to focus on growing in my faith and seeking more of the truth and embracing it.  Part of the reason of attending the cruise in January was to get advice from Father and Anthony about when to disclose Aspergers (which I have).  The other reason was to meet single folks like you to know that I am not alone.  During the cruise, I would have loved to have met someone significantly special but I felt it was important to stay in my region and find someone near where I live.

I have been on a dating site over ten years and had a couple of dates locally as a result… I found peace last year that if it’s the Lord’s will for me to meet someone it will happen in His time and He will let me know.  Apparently it is now that time.  I officially have my first girlfriend ever!  We had a second meet up in early August over a marathon two days and it was awesome.  There's that saying don't tell God your plans because He has His own and I would say that is definitely true!  I was set on wanting to meet someone in a 50 - 100 mile radius of where I live- knowing face-to-face is important.  Well, this person is from north St. Louis in Bowling Green, Missouri and I feel like I am blessed right now.  It is early but I see real good signs.

Point being...don't get swept by time clocks, by society, by the I got to get married tomorrow mindset, etc.  Receive the sacraments, go to adoration, grow in faith, know there are others out there like you and the Lord may surprise you.

Also, I think I shared with you most recently that your essays about bipolar and anxiety have inspired me.  I deal with high functioning Aspergers and have difficulty picking up nonverbal clues when someone might be into me (talking about past experiences) or might misread verbal/flirting cues for something more.  I misread stuff like that in the past.  For example, when someone was hanging out and dancing with me at a Catholic function and another time when a friend held my hand at times at the fair.  I thought they had an emotional liking to me and that was not the case.  The fair is not in the safest neighborhood of Little Rock so they wanted to feel safe (hence grabbing my hand).  But flirting I have majorly misread and it has caused problems in the past. As a result, I try not to read into things when meeting people who might want to dance with me. I say this, because people like me may need other cues to hone in on your signals so I ask that you keep that in the back of your head.  The guy should pursue, but some guys (who struggle with Aspergers) misread things and then as a result get really conservative and hold back socially (in terms of showing emotion).  I am definitely making the one who I am dating a very important VIP and am pursuing her as a guy should since she understands autism and has been very clear in her communication even cluing me in on our recent outing.  I know you will leave it in the Lord's arms and I will be praying for you.  Just remember sometimes that special someone will come when you least expect it.”

Your Brother in Christ,

Lud (from The Adventures of Lud)

Isn’t his insight fantastic!  His testimony inspires hope and offers so much good advice.  His tidbits on showing interest, the confusion that flirting causes and keeping a long distance relationship alive make me smile.  And his admission concerning Aspergers is heartlfelt.  I hope that as this letter helped me- may it also encourage you my readers.  God’s love!  

Saint Francis, Pope Francis

I found a book at my local Catholic bookstore a few days ago.  Initially I had made the trip to the store to look for a replacement charm for my dog’s collar (he lost his ids) and I rarely buy “new” books, but the title caught my attention Saint Francis, Pope Francis: A Common Vision – it seemed too good to pass!  On Sunday, in a matter of hours I finished it.  I just loved how it's organized examining five Gospel values (humility, charity, church, peace and joy) and showing how these men apply these truths in their spiritual journey and in doing so portray a very real Jesus.  When Pope Francis was elected to succeed Pope Benedict XVI in March of 2013- I was forced to examine the pope issue that Protestants tend to have.  Prior to that I wasn’t too excited about our church leaders because I didn’t understand their position within the church- at times my naïveté caused me to think that these men stole Jesus’ light.  When I returned to the Catholic Church in 2007 there were many areas that I found puzzling about my faith- but I patiently waited to be taught (in God’s time) about these hot button issues.  Thus, as Pope Benedict abdicated his position - I began to explore who the Pope was and why he was so important to the Catholic faith.  

Obviously, there’s the theological and historical aspects to it and the fact that Jesus himself appointed Peter as our first Pope.  Learning about the hierarchy of the Catholic Church is extremely fascinating and enriching, but the Pope to us Catholics is more personal than a king or a ruler on a pedestal.  He guides the over 1.2 billion Catholic population in the world and he always reminds and points towards God.  In our society we benefit from having leaders – especially in matters of religion and spirituality. 

When I heard that we had our first Pope from the Americas and that he had taken for the first time in history the name of Francis and made Saint Francis his patron saint- I felt like God was speaking directly to me.  Instantly I felt this great connection and love for our Argentine Pope.  As he began his papacy, I began to learn more about him and the more I learned the more I wanted to know him because he was showing me how to actively be Catholic and pointing me directly to God.  His simplicity, humility and his capacity to love captivated me. 

During 2013, God gave me the opportunity to be present at Saint Peter’s Square for a Sunday Eucharistic Service and Pope Francis stated his homily in Spanish.  I remember his words and his voice challenged me to radiate the joy of the Gospel by word and witness in every place I find myself and to form community and fight individualism.  To love and seek God daily.  He has this tremendous power to use language to create emotion and provoke deep feelings- I remember during the entire homily I rejoiced with overflowing tears.  It was one of those happy moments when words are so inadequate that only tears can communicate the joy and beauty of Christ.  He’s the peoples’ pope – becoming so popular to even win the cover of Time Magazine’s person of the year issue.  Though the message he communicates is no different than his predecessors- Pope Francis’ approach of naturally kissing babies and the disabled shows through deeds the simplicity yet power of love.  God truly left us with a beautiful institution and with competent leaders to lead His flock towards heaven.