Today I
want to focus on a character trait that I have been developing - patience. Over the years in my spiritual journey- I
have grown a little in this area; yet, when it comes to romantic relationships
I still have a lot of work to do. It’s
really important for me to not waste my time because of the promise I made to
my brother-in-heaven - to live each day as if it were my last. This desire to live my life without regrets
has been a challenge in the subject of waiting for a mate. Until recently, I thought that waiting for a man
to make the first move was a waste of time IF it took too long. Let me explain. We introverts have a tendency to form
attachments and are extremely loyal to those attachments. Even if we don’t speak or have any type of
relationship with the object of our affections we close ourselves off to anyone
else and before we know it months, even years have passed and nothing has
happened. Father has told me repeatedly that I must not take myself off the
market until I have the commitment or promise of exclusivity from my man.
As a Christian
woman my role is to wait in matters of two.
As I explored this deeper this is what I gather:
- I am told to wait, but waiting is full of activity. During my waiting I must pray a great deal for discernment- that is for God to reveal my man (in John's words): Are you the one (my hubby) or should I wait for another?
- It’s a time to encourage the object of my affections to approach me, to show him I am interested and if I receive signs that he is- then I am not wasting my time because small actions lead to the edification of relationships. This is really important- to be happy with the small gestures and not to expect him to ask you out ASAP, but to be content with mutual unhurried self-giving. The best romantic relationships begin as friendships.
- Beginnings are tough! I get scared (some days more than others) that I am giving myself slowly and that maybe my love interest will meet someone else and drop me like a dime. Or that I will do or say something that will push him away… I get these moments of vulnerability where I too need encouragement from my beloved. I need daily reminders that he’s still interested not because I am needy, but because I care. When these negative thoughts come I rest in my trust in God, knowing that God has a plan for my life and has saved (just for me) the man that will accompany me to heaven. I am in God’s hands and everything will go according to His plan.
- It’s a time to work on yourself spiritually, emotionally and physically. Study, pray and serve. “The ability to wait and be patient says a lot about you. It says that you are whole, secure, your needs are met; and you are protected by this ability.”
- “It has been said that patience is the weapon that forces deception to reveal itself.” Choosing a mate is one of the most important decisions one will ever make, and time allows for people to REALLY get to know one another. To discover each other’s idiosyncrasies, weaknesses and compatibility- so don’t rush.
We all have
our own style or manner of working on our godly virtues. I have learned to not waste my time and more
importantly give my heart to a man unless I know that he is interested
too. If I see him valiantly overcoming his
fears, insecurities and heroically giving bits of himself to me- then I am game. I believe romantic love needs to be a
mutual self-giving for both parties to maintain their peace and build trust in one another. Am also learning to be at
peace letting the man lead and establishing the pace… Waiting isn’t so bad if
one does it God’s way (smile).
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