The greatest adventures require courage... Everyday my little dog finds my hands and with his cute snout he positions himself at an angle perfect for caressing beneath my hands. He waits for my action and if I ignore him he either groans or shakes his tail until I have no other option than to massage his perfect, little body. He very humbly asks me as many times as it takes to scratch him, to acknowledge him, to simply love him. His persistence and vulnerability teach me so much. Many times I struggle to be loving to show those that I love that I care. I worry about rejection, of coming off as too needy or weird, of making others uncomfortable with my expressions of love and I withhold. Yet, in my genetic make-up, God, gave me this gift of over-sentimentality and corniness and if I go a day without being cheesy I am not living true to my potential (smile).
Sometimes when I read books about Christian courtship- they drive me nuts because they all advice to withhold sentiments in order to protect one’s own heart. This tip goes against every fiber of my being because I am Mexican! My culture is very expressive we hug, kiss, speak with our hands, serenade with Mariachi songs, love cheesy, romantic telenovelas and over all we are very sensual and affectionate. It’s impossible for me to withhold affection and it seems very unchristian to do so. God tells us to love one another as He first loved us- when I mediate on this command I see Jesus teaching, healing, liberating - LOVING without care for protecting His heart due to fear of it breaking. In fact, I once heard a theory that Jesus died from a broken heart because of His great and perfect love for us. When we love – no matter who we love – we are exposing our hearts to hurt and brokenness. The more we love the more hurt we will experience, but also the more joy and happiness.
Yet, as unromantic and opposing to my very being- I know that I must guard my heart. I need to guard it from selfishness, from greed, from gossip… from all the things that keep me from loving more authentically and build a divide between myself and God. I’ve been broken so many times in the past and God has delivered and healed me every time- so am not (as) afraid of pain because I know no matter the outcome I will always have my heavenly Father. I trust Him. Though I am very affectionate and cheesy- I don’t give my heart easily in romantic matters. In fact, I gave my heart to God for safe keeping and asked Him to give it to the man that He finds worthy. I crave for a husband and a family, but I am in no way desperate because God has taught me to be happy right now. He’s taught me to see the abundant blessings in my life and to rejoice and be satisfied with what and who I have in my life right now. Nevertheless, I am learning that romantic relationships require a lot of prayer, discernment and a slow process of giving oneself to the beloved. To slowly give as we receive so that there is balance of mutual self-giving. This interchange of self-giving creates trust and a safe foundation for love to be planted and steadily grow. As two people give of each other unhurriedly a healthy relationship is born. So, I guess that if my style of slowly giving myself is through a lot of corny acts I hope my beloved can appreciate it (smile).
Sometimes when I read books about Christian courtship- they drive me nuts because they all advice to withhold sentiments in order to protect one’s own heart. This tip goes against every fiber of my being because I am Mexican! My culture is very expressive we hug, kiss, speak with our hands, serenade with Mariachi songs, love cheesy, romantic telenovelas and over all we are very sensual and affectionate. It’s impossible for me to withhold affection and it seems very unchristian to do so. God tells us to love one another as He first loved us- when I mediate on this command I see Jesus teaching, healing, liberating - LOVING without care for protecting His heart due to fear of it breaking. In fact, I once heard a theory that Jesus died from a broken heart because of His great and perfect love for us. When we love – no matter who we love – we are exposing our hearts to hurt and brokenness. The more we love the more hurt we will experience, but also the more joy and happiness.
Yet, as unromantic and opposing to my very being- I know that I must guard my heart. I need to guard it from selfishness, from greed, from gossip… from all the things that keep me from loving more authentically and build a divide between myself and God. I’ve been broken so many times in the past and God has delivered and healed me every time- so am not (as) afraid of pain because I know no matter the outcome I will always have my heavenly Father. I trust Him. Though I am very affectionate and cheesy- I don’t give my heart easily in romantic matters. In fact, I gave my heart to God for safe keeping and asked Him to give it to the man that He finds worthy. I crave for a husband and a family, but I am in no way desperate because God has taught me to be happy right now. He’s taught me to see the abundant blessings in my life and to rejoice and be satisfied with what and who I have in my life right now. Nevertheless, I am learning that romantic relationships require a lot of prayer, discernment and a slow process of giving oneself to the beloved. To slowly give as we receive so that there is balance of mutual self-giving. This interchange of self-giving creates trust and a safe foundation for love to be planted and steadily grow. As two people give of each other unhurriedly a healthy relationship is born. So, I guess that if my style of slowly giving myself is through a lot of corny acts I hope my beloved can appreciate it (smile).
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