Modesty Is Deeper Than Clothes

In my path towards returning to the Catholic Church my journey took me to many Christian denomination churches. In all I found fragments of the truth, but as I have stated before the Eucharist called me home.  The journey gave me a deep understanding for the importance of our Roman and Apostolic faith because without our church history anyone can begin a new Christian church keeping only those items of Christian tradition they see fit.  A few years ago, an alcoholic friend trying to recover invited me to an Alcoholic Anonymous retreat that claimed to be Christian.  As she was reluctant to go alone, I figured there was no harm in going with her – besides it was a women’s only retreat on Christian sexuality.  As we began the retreat, the two leaders began by stating that during the weekend we were going to listen and discuss topics about sex that normally in a church setting were taboo areas.  They began by having us name our sexual organs in all slang terms we've heard because after that weekend we would have no shame in identifying these parts of our bodies.  Then they told us that profanity was welcomed because the weekend was about honest communication and one of the leaders began by using a lot of bad words to get us started.  As we began introductions, they told us to share why we were there and one of the ladies who was living with her boyfriend said she wanted to learn tips on how to please him sexually.  A girl shared that she thought purity is over rated because she waited to have sex until marriage and now she was going through a divorce.  As we went around the circle the comments just kept getting more and more anti-Christian.  I was there trying to support my friend, but around the morning of the second day I couldn’t take it anymore.  When it was my turn to share I told them how profanity and vulgarity were not Christian and how more traditional Christian friends than I would have already stormed out of the retreat.  That from the beginning introduction I had felt terribly uncomfortable, but for the sake of my friend I remained.  They asked me what church I went to and I told them that as of recent I attended a Catholic Church.  That seemed to relieve them because they thought that I was just too conservative and probably thought myself too righteous.  Seeing this in their reflections I shared how big of a sinner I am, how much I fall all the time, and that while I am a saving myself for marriage purity is more than just not having sex out of wedlock as is modesty more than just wearing covered up clothes.  Modesty is deeper than clothes.  Growing up my mom always taught us that our behavior and our language matter.  That profanity is a "no-no" and certain topics of conversation need more respect than others.  Her Catholic faith (in addition to life experience) taught her the importance of decency in dress and behavior.

Some of us aren’t fortunate enough to grow with a person who teaches us these important lessons, but if we look at Jesus at our Christian faith he shows us the way.  Yet, when we look at God for instruction we really need to make sure that we go to a place that won’t lead astray.  I spoke up at the AA retreat because I felt like these people were using Jesus to teach their own doctrine and sadly that’s really common.  It wasn’t until I spoke up that my friend realized that what we were learning (while maybe therapeutically for some) didn’t coincide with Christian teaching.  A younger more impressionable me, might have gotten caught up in this type of “Christianity,” but luckily for me I attended the retreat when I knew my faith because I belonged to the Roman, Catholic and Apostolic Church.  A church that is grounded in Christ, has history from its beginnings in Rome and was passed down from Jesus to the apostles to us.  After I shared with the group my thoughts about the retreat, other participants were encouraged to also come forth and share similar thoughts.  Later one of the leaders came up to me and we had a great conversation.  She asked me what she could do to make my experience more comfortable, but I told her that I would be leaving the retreat early because the next activity involved dancing and chanting around a fire.  I am taking a class on ecclesiology and I think that’s what inspired this memory- not because what this group offers is wrong (I was told that in its five year run it has helped a lot of women with addictions) but because the group advertises this as a Christian founded experience- and that, it is not. 

It’s important for us to be learned in the faith because only our knowledge in Christ and tradition will enable us to identify the truth.  God’s word encourages us to “beware of false prophets, who come to us in sheep’s clothing.”  There's a lot of new age spirituality  that tries to disguise itself as Christian, I've often encountered it.  I like to look at this movement as people's desire for God.  Yet, whenever we need help with discernment our Catholic Church will always point us in the right path as it has done from the beginning (smile).