Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

The day I met him!

I am crazy about a nine-year-old boy- utterly madly in love with every bit of him.  He happens to be my only biological nephew.  Yet, he is growing and with growth he begins to see that life is more than his small pack of loving Mexican clan.  The first big scary thing that happened was when he came home and startled me (way more than anyone in the pack) by stating that a girl in his elementary class had a crush on him.  It took me quite a few sessions with my girls to calm me down and accept that I am not the only person who will recognize how special he is and that at his age kids have ten minute crushes all the time.  Well, just as I was recovering from such shocking revelations- one day we were talking and he blurted out (as little guys do); that in our family he, his dad and I were the smartest people in it.  Thanks to the Holy Spirit I was able to explain to him how wrong he was.  I explained to him how while his grandparents were not book smart- they had super qualities which he and I had no clue.  “For example,” I told him, “grandpa is a self-taught nature guy – he knows more about plants and animals than anyone I know- you could say that’s his specialization.  And grandma she’s the best cook, homemaker - not to mention self-taught holistic nutritionist – your mom is super crafty she makes cakes, designs, cuts and sews clothes she’s an artist, and uncle is super good with construction work…  Everyone has a type of intelligence that makes us equal and because we are wired differently we need each other and must always work together.”  This speech (inspired by God) really helped him understand that we are all smart and to remove or rather to place all of his pack on podiums because we all shine in our unique way.

Having a little guy as gifted as my nephew who loves to inquire and ponder things deeply keeps me on my toes and after I have these unexpected moments of education I sit and meditate to make sure that what I am teaching him is really, well, right…  I want my nephew to grow up and to be humble to always approach others with optimism and great expectation- kind of like how God sees each of us so full of goodness and potential.  Yet, sometimes it’s easy to give a sermon and for the speaker to miss the lesson.  Sometimes I get scared thinking that I am not smart enough.  I am attracted to intelligent men, and sometimes I get scared thinking – “what if he realizes that I am not at all smart. What if I need CliffsNotes to understand him?”  I know these are stupid worries that should have been left behind in high school with my teenage years.  Yet, that fear has long been with me.  I felt like that every time I taught class as a high school teacher and even now when I teach RCIA.  What if they see that I am really not that instructed that there’s so much that I don’t know.  Last night in my class we went over parts of “Lumen Gentium” specifically the stir that the word “Sacrament” caused among people from other Christian denominations when our church teaching affirms the Church as Sacrament.  To me all this is new so I was fascinated by the discussion that one word created among people and how we are encouraged to think critically so that we can come to a real understanding of church teaching.  I love classes like this where it’s evident how little I know.  Yet, to be in a class and accept that I am ignorant about so much is different and quite easier to accept than when I am trying to get to know another person and my weaknesses just come blaring.  In class, I can just remain silent and absorb all the things without calling attention to my little knowledge, but when I am either leading a class or having a tête-à-tête it’s harder to hide my weaknesses…  This insecurity is probably a matter of humility and of accepting myself as I am. 

I want my nephew to approach people with love and patience because that’s how I try to see others, but I also want him to see himself with that same love and patience.  As we open up our world to others (as he is by growing up) there will always be a lurking fear of rejection, a fear of unworthiness and the temptation to hide by thinking ourselves better or thinking ourselves worse than others- but like I am learning (through our presidential candidates LOL) it doesn’t have to be one or the other. There’s always a more godly option, “to love your neighbor as yourself” (even If she is less smart).  God tells us that we must love others as we love ourselves and part of loving is acceptance.  I must practice self-acceptance and ask God to heal me of this insecurity, to “make me a better channel of His love.”  For space that is occupied by my insecurities is space that I am keeping God out.