My friend died last night- and I was left behind without
telling him so many things that I waited too long to say and will forever
remain unsaid. As he left our young
adult group last week I didn’t say good bye nor gave him a hug thinking he
would be there at the next church function. Then last night as I sat at a
brewery celebrating a birthday I got the news that he was at the hospital
without a pulse. I rushed to the
emergency room hoping to say good bye to tell him that I loved him in Christ
and that his life enriched mine. That
the note he gave me at the teen retreat motivated my conversion, that I enjoyed
sharing a drink with him at Theology on Tap meetings- that I admired his kindness
and close relationship to his mom and family.
I wanted to say those things that often go unsaid because I was afraid
they would be taken the wrong way or maybe because I thought I had more time
with him. He was a good man, a good
friend and a devoted Catholic…
Late last night, as I made my way into my bed I hugged (the
only one awake at that time) my dog and held onto him enjoying his warmth and
his reciprocating licks. I begged God
for more time with those I love, but I realize that I don’t need more time what
I need is to make better use of my present.
My friend was in his mid-thirties and now he is no more in this
world. While knowing that he’s home-
that he beat all of us there- it’s difficult to be left behind.
He was a high school teacher - and teacher that he was, he
continues to teach me that youth cannot be taken for granted. That I need to live with passion. That every day is a blessing and perhaps our last. That the not knowing when we will be separated
from our loved ones needs to motivate us to be better friends, brothers, sons,
people of faith… That life is a gift and
we must never take it for granted. I’m
still in shock and have shed many tears- because as a person of faith I still
hurt and follow the same grieving process – but I have hope in God and I know that
my friend is happily and eternally home.
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