Last week,
I spoke for quite some time with a friend I met on my second cruise who is high
functioning autistic. He calls me
occasionally – usually when he’s having high anxiety and struggling with
life. I really enjoy talking to him
because as a bipolar sufferer it’s great having someone who understands me (through
experience) in that struggle. Most
recently he was appointed as an autism advocate by his state and called me to
share his written testimony asking for some pointers. While my buddy can be a handful, especially
in social situations when he lacks the ability to pick up on cues (making communication
quite challenging) and while sometimes he can talk without allowing the other
person to say a word– I really admire his perseverance. During the cruise I noticed a lot of people
in our group didn’t have a whole lot of patience with him and that saddened me
because we as Catholics need to be more patient and giving than the rest of the
world.
A few years
ago, I decided to try out a closer parish by my house and to change to English
ministry in an attempt to learn my faith in the vernacular. As I began forming new relationships, I soon
discovered that within the community there was this girl who people generally
left out. She’s since become a close
friend of mine. Once, I was organizing a
birthday dinner for a new friend from the parish and I asked her who I should
invite she gave me a list with everyone in the young adult group except for one
girl. Thinking she had forgotten to
include her I asked my friend why Annie hadn’t been invited and she told me
that Annie made everyone uncomfortable.
I was shocked that a leader in my parish would exclude a person just
because that person is a little odd, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt
because I didn’t know Annie. Since,
Annie and I have become great friends, I learned that she suffers from a learning
disability and has a tendency to miss social cues. Sometimes she can over share or be a bit
gossipy, but I learned that she does so because she knows no better. As I got to know her, I began orienting her
and asking her to keep the things between us private and she did. So, I realized that she wasn’t really a
gossip she just needed a little direction and some patience. When a teen got pregnant in our confirmation
program the teen choose to confide in Annie and that was such a shock to so
many leaders, but not to me because I know her.
Last Advent she led a woman’s bible group at her house and I was so
proud of her, she’s really blossomed. I’ve
noticed that girls that used to reject her are now friendly with her (while
that should have been always in a church community) it makes me happy that
others are finally seeing the beauty of Annie.
After the
Orlando shooting, Pope Francis endorsed the idea that Christians should apologize to the gay community, but from what I have seen, I think we need to
apologize to everyone because sometimes we do fall short of following Jesus’
example. When I arrived to this country
and I didn’t know the language, when I lived crammed into a two-bedroom
apartment, when I was molested, when I was diagnosed as bipolar, when I lost my
brother to suicide I learned what it’s like to be different. The suffering that comes with being different
and in many cases rejected - gave me wisdom.
As the old cliché goes, “God uses all of our suffering for His good.” My painful past gave me ability to see
goodness in all people, and while I too struggle with my own failings, my own darkness
and my own sin; I love to root for the marginalized, for the odd balls because I
am one of them.
Good post.
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