Monday, April 4, 2016

Getting Out of My Comfort Zone: Vulnerability

I've been thinking of vulnerability and how difficult it is to show our real selves all the time especially to new people or in new situations.  I hate the gym, a while ago I had a gym membership and every time I would be there I felt like a hamster trapped in a run-about-bubble.  I would look around at all the people running on treadmills (all hamsters in plastic bubbles) and my agoraphobic anxiety would increase until I felt the need to escape the gymnasium zoo.  Though, I challenged myself, thinking that with familiarity I would soon enjoy the gym, I realized that I preferred the outdoors in matters of activity.  To begin with, signing up for a membership required me to step out of my comfort zone- because I erroneously thought that I would only see extremely fit people at the gym and boy would it be embarrassing to be the only one huffing and puffing to keep up on the workout machines.  Yet, to my surprise all shapes of people workout at gyms…  Yet, my hamster anxiety pushed me out into the natural world for exercise.  Lately, I have been thinking of taking Zumba classes at a gym near my home and again I have been prepping myself to go in there and buy the ten class pass to get started.  I’m just afraid that I won’t be able to keep up in the classes and sometimes fear of ridicule can be so paralyzing…  The thing is that my journey in this world will always propel me into new territories that will terrify and make me vulnerable.  As an adult I think it’s more difficult to try new things because I have practically mastered all the ways to protect myself.  Sometimes pride also gets the better of me.  Last week I was hanging out with my nephew and he loves asking me questions that many times I don’t know how to answer; yet, he doesn’t judge or criticize me when his questions leave me stumped.  He understands (better than me) that we don’t have to have all the answers, we don’t have to know it all, and it’s ok to be clueless in unexplored areas of our lives.  In fact, he loves discovering new things and is brave enough or perhaps innocent enough to be naturally vulnerable and to ask for help or admit that he doesn't know.  Jesus knew what he was talking about when he motivated us to be like children!


There are areas that I have little familiarity with, like matters of the heart.  I struggle when speaking with people from the opposite sex (especially when there’s attraction), I don’t enjoy small talk and I have no idea how things progress.  My way of dealing with my inexperience was to keep away, to not show my feelings and to hope that a miracle would happen that would bring me a man who would be so persistent that he would tear down my walls.  Yet, as I have gotten to know God, He has taught me (what my nephew knows so well) how to be vulnerable.  Not having a lot of experience with the opposite sex is ok, not knowing how to keep a conversation going initially is ok, feeling vulnerable because I don’t know the how’s of matters of the heart is ok.  Looking at the church Fathers, the men God chose I see a bunch of weaklings that rose to the occasion because of God- to glorify Him.  As an adult, I constantly feel like I need to have a mastering of everything, but when I hang around my nine-year-old nephew I see that it’s ok to not know; in fact, it’s even ok to not have a stinking clue (smile).  What matters is being open to learn and having the courage and perhaps the humility to be vulnerable.  My kiddo asked me on Saturday to teach him to dance, he has a new favorite song, “Shut Up and Dance,” he likes it because he gets to sing a bad word (LOL).  So, we had a dance battle in our living room floor.  While dancing can be quite a mortifying process just being silly inspired him to try some moves out and there while dancing with him I realized that trying new things is not so bad – it’s who you try them with that makes the difference.  So, this week I will go into that gym and get my Zumba pass. 

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