Pope Francis: On Love & Courtship

A few years ago, after a church event, I was having lunch with Father and the conversation led to marriage and after asking for my age he concluded that I was ready for marriage and needed to start looking for a husband.  I was shocked that he was asking me to be actively open to marriage, especially since I felt really happy in my state of life and also believed that "if and when God willed it" I would find my prince charming.  Yet, Father didn’t let me leave the lunch without promising that I would think about being more proactive in my dating life.  The nerd that I am, I decided to read books about Christian courtship from solid Christian writers to get a better understanding about the journey that I was embarking in.  While the books proved helpful – they left much to be desired.  The books tended to describe perfect scenarios, most were focused on single people during the college years and some were written before the internet became another source in the dating process.  Also, I found that after reading many books some contradicted each other in acceptable ways to go about the dating process.  Some were way too conservative while others were too idealistic.  Though, they helped me understand that I must look at the dating scene with Christian eyes- I wasn’t satisfied with what I learned. They left a lot to be desired.  These past couple of weeks I have been reading the latest papal encyclical, Amoris Laetitia and I never imagined that I would get the best dating advice from Pope Francis! 

In his apostolic exhortation Pope Francis touches on many different topics concerning the family- it really is a great read for all people it’s just such a splendid source of wisdom.  As I was diving into the pope’s writing I began to hear God’s voice speaking specifically to me.  Here’s what I heard that I would like to share with you… I grew up watching Spanish soap operas (they are synonymous to the Mexican culture) and they formed my mentality about the opposite sex.  I learned that flowers, chocolate, romance and happy endings were designated for lovers.  That two people in love lived in their own magic bubble and that love between a man and a woman was the epitome of a fairytale.  Also, this kind of love arrived mysteriously – perhaps from an arrow from cupid.  While most courting books were a bit more realistic in their approach than Mexican tevenovelas- I saw that all still held to the principles that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.  The difference in the sexes is sacred- God created us so- I mean Adam knew when he saw Eve that she was bone of his bones, and flesh of his flesh.  He knew that she was just like him, but different so he called her woman.  However, in my experience dating books make it seem like men and women at are odds – like our differences are so great that they complicate the courting experience.  Which is why I found Pope Francis so refreshingly wise.

Pope Francis breaks it down to a matter of friendship.  While society tells us to skip the friendship phase in romantic relationships, our pope tells us that friendship is what makes things real.  He encourages people of the opposite sex to cultivate healthy friendships.  In fact, he goes on to say that many times people that are engaged and even married don’t know each other precisely because they missed this step.  He blames this on popular culture and fantasizing one another. He warns us about superficial relationships and challenges us to foster bonds that promote tenderness and knowing one another.  In friendship, two are able to get to know each other honestly without the anxiety or need to show only one’s better side.  In friendship there’s no criticism, but acceptance.  In friendship two get to know each other in the worlds that both live in.  In friendship, the individualistic mentality is challenged and the two not only spend time alone, but also together with the religious community, friends and family… The way Pope Francis explains things is way better than I can (so read the encyclical, SMILE), but I really walked away feeling a lot more hopeful about me and the opposite sex because I finally understood that friendship takes away the intimidating fear that comes with putting myself out there.  Friendship is something I am good at while dating is not.  So, I loved that Pope Francis broke it down to how God wired us.  “Be a friend,” is what Father told me and now I understand the meaning of that a little better...  The other day I was walking my dog and I realized that whenever he sees another dog he stops, wags his tail and acknowledges that there’s another one like him.  This gesture reminded me of how God created us to be relational – just as God craves for us to have a relationship with Him, He also desires that we relate to one another in Christian brotherhood no matter what type of relationship we have with one another (sister, friend, girlfriend, employee, etc).  

Happiness is a Clean Room

Over the weekend I finally got around to completing my room decor.  Though, I still have to tackle the closet and reorganize my books- my room is looking quite nice.  The best part is that I managed to decorate completely with thrifted items!  There’s something quite exciting in going into a second-hand-store and finding random bits that together slowly begin to come together.  It’s a labor of patience because one finds things gradually not all in one visit; but, when I find a treasure it makes the wait worth it.  You ready to tour my room- the place where my dreams begin… 

First, sorry for the poor quality, the sunlight coming in made some shots quite blurry...  My bed is compromised of mattresses on the floor due to one aging dog, but even so I love how it turned out.  This is where I take a fifteen-minute breather after work everyday, where I read my books and where I pray...

 I added the "some bunny loves you" egg that my nephew gave me for Easter to this shelve otherwise it looks just like it did last time I showed you. 

 

 My prayer station has a small figurine of the resurrected Jesus (which I bought for a buck fifty) and my brand new two dollar journal.  Though I have many journals I had to buy this at a yard sale because it matches my decor- it's also a prayer journal that's beautiful inside.  I want to change my altar seasonally - thus the resurrected Jesus was a godsend!

 I added a pillow to my bedding, it has a bird and a three-dimensional rose- it was a Goodwill $2.99 score.

 I had been looking for a single ball tree for quite sometime and I finally found it for $4.99 at Savers.  Though, originally I was thinking just solid greenery, this one has small white flowers that complement the color scheme.  I also found this dress mannequin for five bucks at a yard sale and it looks fantastic displaying my necklaces! 

 My nephew's artwork is also on display throughout the room, he gave me these pieces for special occasions and they make me smile when I look at them.  And I found this small frame with the key that unlocks my heart (smile).

The biggest change was my vanity set... I've had this drawer for over ten years and I love it because it's made out of real wood.  I bought it at a yard sale years ago, the man who sold it to me told me that he had made it for his daughter so the craftsmanship is phenomenal.  This is the third time I have painted it and it looks brand new!  I also found pretty containers to place my goodies (all secondhand).  

A leaf holds my rings.

 A small bird dish holds my watches.

 I love words- so there's a bunch of quotes on display... Here I am using my jewelry as artwork.  This frame is a cork board that I found and painted.  The necklace is the popular Bubble Bib Necklace from J-crew which retailed for 150 dollars and I found mine at a thrift store for $8.99! 

"...what dreams may come..." William Shakespeare

That's my cute thrifted room, hope you enjoyed the tour.

Part One New Year New Room

My Week In Pictures

When I left high school, I thought that life was only those moments that stay with you forever, yet life happens every single day in the ordinary.  In our daily routine change is happening, take the time to enjoy it, to thank God for the blessings that often get overshadowed by busyness, to praise Him for the ordinary and to show gratefulness by simply enjoying what you have.  I enjoy routine, so my weeks mirror each other; yet, I love my simple life.  Every day there's something I look forward to, here's a look at my week in pictures.

 Today, Thursday:

Good Morning, when I'm at the office I always begin my morning with a cup of coffee in my favorite mug!  This is me bright-eyed-bushy-tail, ready for my busy day... I work East Coast hours, so I begin my day quite early.  Then on Thursdays after work I take a workout class at my gym- on Thursdays is Piloxing with Leslie so much fun!

Last Friday:

I am trying to take Zumba classes on Friday nights to get a routine going.  Even after signing up for classes, I was still intimidated by not being able to perform, but after facing my fears I love the class!  The instructors are really nice and they have various levels so that we all go at our own pace.  Though I suck at following steps, I think with practice I will get the choreography down (smile)! 

Saturday:

Saturday's are usually my one complete free day where I can schedule things or leave it open to just relax at home.  Last Saturday, I visited an orphanage in Mexico and on a wall (in the girls dormitory) was this painting.  It's so big that it takes an entire wall! I had never seen this image of Jesus with an angel before and I love it!  It made me happy to know that the kids get to see this image everyday and know that God loves them.

Sunday:

Can you believe another RCIA year is about to come to a close... Time moves so quickly.  We have about five more classes before the term ends so we made gifts for our students which will be presented on their "graduation day" also known as the last day of class when they will be presented with their Certificate(s) of the Sacraments received.

Monday:

Monday nights are my school night. This quarter I am studying the Book of Psalms and while at first I was apprehensive about the teacher and her teaching methods, I am actually enjoying the class.  It's not as academic as I would like, but I get to try various praying techniques and that's pretty cool too.  The group work has also forced me to get to know my classmates and they are a hilarious bunch, we have funny homilies to look forward to from this batch of deacons. 

 Tuesday:

On Tuesday, I met this little guy, he's the first born to one of my friend's from my seasonal Bible studies group.  She and her husband are super excited to have been blessed with a little angel of their own.  So, my family in Christ just keeps growing (smile).  Also, on Tuesday nights I was recruited to greet people at the door for our Alpha program so for a few weeks this will be my new Tuesday gig.

Wednesday:

So, I was supposed to go to Zumba class, but then we had an escape situation - my neighbor's dog got out and I had to quarantine her in the backyard until her parents got home.  This gave Dollar an impromptu doggie date.  They had a blast together even though I had to miss class, but I'll make it up tonight.  Sometimes, making my dog happy is priority. 

There's this quote I like about how day by day nothing seems to change, but when you look back everything is different.  So, let's carpe diem (smile).

Corazon de Vida: Serving Orphaned & Abandoned Children

Do you ever feel like you are not doing enough with your life?  I remember when I had my first encounter with God as an adult, I wanted Him to send me to impoverish countries as a missionary.  The high of that initial experience had me thinking grandiose ideas.  I remember believing that maybe me not having a lot of experience with men, meant that God wanted me to become completely His in a religious way.  Thus, I went through a period of discernment of religious life.  I was heads-over-heels in love, but as that honeymoon period wore off and I found myself a bit more level headed I realized that I needed to cultivate the lot God had given me before He would trust me with more.  God helped me see problem areas in my character and in my relationships and slowly I saw that I needed to change and also needed to mend family relationships…  Sometimes, in our humanness we want to do great things, but God reminds us that He desires small and ordinary actions because the sum of those small and ordinary actions become great channels of change and conversion.  He needs each of us to minister to those around us, those we love and those who have hurt us.  As we tend our lot and grow more in our faith He gradually gives us more responsibilities.  The saints understood this and they did great things by doing small, ordinary tasks.  Lately, I have been feeling this great desire to support a cause.  So, on Saturday, I visited an orphanage in Tijuana, Mexico with the hopes of learning more about the organization and the community it serves.  Corazon de Vida, has nine orphanages in Tijuana that serve children from infancy to college age pupils.  Each orphanage can home about 120 children and provides complete housing, education and medical coverage for all its members.  All this is possible through generous donations.

Soccer field and pets.

Girls dorm

It's cute they all have stuffed animals on their beds.

On Saturday, I was able to tour the facility.  I was really impressed by how neat and organized everything is.  The housing is separated by sex and age.  All Children have daily chores to help maintain their home and a system where the older ones help the younger ones.  The orphanage is like a large family home where children remain all day - only leaving the premises to attend public school.  The local church also provides religious formation and offers music classes where the kids learn to play instruments or sing with the choir.  When I arrived to the home a little hand found mine and for the rest of my visit we were inseparable.  We colored, drew, read books and shared a pizza lunch together.  She informed me that they have four dogs on site (two male and two female) which she considers her pets.  Then I was introduced to a large mutt who was mesmerized by my phone.  My little girl seemed quite happy, she kept laughing throughout our interaction and for a while I forgot that she’s an orphan.  Unlike most of the children at the home my little one is an only child who has been at the home for quite a few years.  I learned that only babies or children under three are usually adopted- but once you leave the toddler years the odds of getting adopted are rare.  So, most of these children will grow up in the home and leave as adults.

Lunch time.

Coloring, drawing, reading...

The other kids I got to meet, a shy little guy (at first) and a very extroverted, little girl.

I also met an older gentleman, who travels to the orphanage on a monthly basis and the children just adore him!  In fact, half of the people who visit the orphanage with Corazon de Vida are regulars who build rapport with the kids.  I can see how visiting regularly can enhance the experience and help make a difference in the lives of the children.  In addition, to visits there other ways to support Corazon de Vida, visit their page to learn more.  I really enjoyed my time with the children, and learned a great deal about the foster care and adoption process of Mexico.  And I fell in love with a little girl with pigtails and her mutt.  

My Pigtail Princess.

Getting Crafty: DIY Graphic Tees

I grew with a mom who used to refashion dresses for me from old garments that she no longer used.  Every year for school picture day she would make me my very own special dress.  My dad, the flower man, he loves plants – gardening is his passion and he loves maintaining his beautiful garden and also dabbles with small remodeling projects around the house.  My sister is always doing some special project like knitting a sweater, crocheting a quilt, decorating cakes or sewing her own clothing designs.  Growing up around such creative people turned me into a DIY type of person.  To this day I enjoy creativity – whether putting things together to decorate a room, making crafts for special occasions or sometimes dabbling in fashion.  When I get an idea I just need to put it to fruition or my mind won’t leave alone.  These past couple of weeks I have been working on creating graphic tees with inspiring messages for myself.  After deciding to start a weight loss plan, I realized that I am not much of a t-shirt person.  I like sequins and frills and t-shirts are seriously too plain for this girl.  I do like tees, which are more feminine (shape wise) than the classic t-shirt.  After reading some of the blogs that I enjoy about fashion, I started noticing the return of the graphic tee and though I generally don’t like wearing slogans I found that I liked the look.  The three messages I chose, I did so thinking of motivational sayings to wear to Zumba class, but I think that I can even fancy them up for a more fun everyday look!  So, here are three ways to make a graphic tee.

"Carpe Diem" Using Fabric Marker:  When I learned this phrase (back in high school) I thought it made me sound so very smart! It also comes from one of my favorite mythological stories the Epic of Gilgamesh and was later popularized by a favorite movie of mine, Dead Poet’s Society.  In addition, the meaning translated from Latin is my motto, “Seize the Day.”  

I printed the words in a font I liked, cut the letters tracing them with a skinny permanent marker.  Then carefully filled the letters in with a black Tulip Fabric Marker.

"GRL PWR" Using Fabric Paint: I am not advocating feminism, but the beauty of femininity.  There’s such godliness in the difference of the sexes.  God created us male and female in His image and that’s sacred, so this message is about embracing my girliness.

Similar process to above, I printed the words in a font I liked, cut the letters; but traced them with chalk.  Then carefully filled the letters in using white Tulip Fabric Paint and a small brush.  

I used about three coats of paint on the PWR part, allowing each coat to dry before applying on the next.  Also, I would recommend washing the tee before wearing it to remove the chalk lines.

"Holy Chic" Using Sequins: At one of the Ave Maria Cruises, a friend wore a tee with this logo and I thought how clever!  So, I stole her good style sense!  I thought sequins would add a sparkly effect, but boy was it tough to sew on! It turned a little crooked, but it gives it personality (smile).

I used sequin ribbon, thread and a needle to sew it onto traced letters.  

I forgot to mention that all the shirts were purchased for a couple bucks at thrift stores.  It was fun, looking for three color tees and deciding which message to put on each, knowing that if I messed up – it wouldn’t be a big money loss. Don't be afraid to get creative. 

The Great Communicator

Penny for President!

I have a little bottle of holy water that I brought back from a parish in Italy (in front of my computer screen) when I need inspiration or my thoughts to be calmed I pray and place some on my forehead and temples.  There’s something so soothing in using sacramentals, in using the material to connect us with the spiritual.  Sometimes our thoughts (especially for us introverts) can get rather creative and overwhelming.  We tend to ponder and overthink things.  I fall victim to this all the time so I try to keep a little holy water around for emergencies…  Over the weekend I went to the Regan Library with a parish group- we carpooled up there and then explored on our own.  While going through the Reagan exhibit I noticed that our past president had an affinity for words, he kept a journal of his eight year term in office and also had countless notecards where he collected quotes that spoke to him.  Many of the quotes he used during his public speeches, earning him the title of “The Great Communicator.”  I found that amusing because I too love collecting quotes!  Reagan’s title also captured my attention because communication gives and helps us maintain peace.  In all our dealings, good communication helps build trust and for deep thinkers (like me) it helps us focus on the truth.  Sometimes I like to do things socially because we all need to be around other people who share our values as motivation in our spiritual life.  Like this outing helped me get in contact with a girl who is leading a chastity group and I think that would really be beneficial to me because I struggle with lust and I need to learn more about sexuality and our faith.  I always go to these events with the intention of increasing my spiritual life and gaining resources to help me in my faith journey.  It might come as a surprise, but I am actually quite shy and I tend to gravitate towards other women at these events.  The girl I met is also going to send me info to help in the John Kasich campaign (smile).

 Collection of Reagan's quote cards.

Reagan's journal.

On Sunday, during my RCIA class I gave a one-hour session on the topic of called to serve.  Going to the Reagan library gave me great examples to use during my lecture.  While going through the Vatican Exhibit (that the library is currently hosting) I learned the process of the construction of the Vatican.  I learned that it took centuries to complete the project and intense collaboration among many popes and some of the greatest artists of all time (Michelangelo, Raphael, and Bernini).  The story of the construction of the basilica (the concrete building) helped me illustrate how much we are all needed to build the Kingdom of God here and now.  We are each essential to spreading the message, God has a purpose for everyone and no assignment is second class service.  We are all part of the body of Christ and all members are needed for a complete, healthy body.  Am glad that I was able to visit the exhibit before giving my talk because what I learned while touring the museum I was able to apply to make my session more applicable to our lives now. I encourage you to go and support the exhibit.

Great images to contemplate, meditate & pray with.

 One of the beautiful mosaics in the exhibit.

These belonged to Pope Saint John Paul II

 Reliquary with bones that belonged to Saint Peter, Saint Paul and Saint Theresa of Avila.

This sculpture depicts the beheading of Saint Paul.

When God calls us to a life of service, He calls to a life of love.  We “act” as a reply to His great love for us.  In other words, I cannot say I love God and I believe in Him without expressing my faith through actions.  Our talk has to always match our walk.     

Weigh Loss: Feel Better When I'm Dancing

So, it’s the time of the month for a fitness update!  Good news, after a month of making better food choices, abstaining from junk food and soda pop, having portion control and after working out with my dog four times a week I am down a size!  My dog is also very pleased with the extra-long walks we have been doing (smile) and also shows a slimmer waist LOL.  Now this past month hasn’t been easy because a lot of changes were made and some days I succeed while others I failed miserably, but I am like the “Little Engine that Could” and persevered.  When I failed, I acknowledge my failures trying to learn from them and to move passed them without dwelling.  My weight loss plan consists of healthier eating choices, exercise, and drinking more water – there’s really no magic formula.  As my mom always tells me: “todo lo bueno cuesta,” and she isn’t referring to money; but, the effort, time and anything else needed to achieve goals.  My friend has also been coaching me, I report to her once a week giving her a weekly description of how I did nutrition and activity wise and make a new plan of attack for the week to come.  I talk to her about my problem areas too and she gives me suggestions and encouragement to press on.  Having someone who keeps me accountable has also made a difference in my weight loss journey.  Yesterday, I upped my game by getting a pass for Zumba classes at my local gym.  I will be taking classes at least two nights a week (Wednesday & Friday night 6-7PM) and am really looking forward to this new activity.  Last post, I, spoke about how who you do things with makes a difference and I am really excited because the facility where I am taking my Zumba classes is an all women gym and that makes me feel more secure and more comfortable to succeed in this new adventure (smile).

GIRL POWER

Partner in crime.

I have a boring desk job, which means that I work in front of a computer all day and most days I work right through my breaks and lunches so when I get home I am usually mentally exhausted.  Most days I really don’t feel like working out- I just want to take a break, close my eyes and rest for an hour before I do anything.  This past month, as soon as I got home I grabbed the leash and took my dog on walks, I have found this to be more relaxing and energizing – yet, I still have my days when I rather just plummet into my bed for relaxation.  Food wise I try to make better choices and also have portion control- but there have been days (especially days when I am celebrating loved ones’ birthdays) that I fail miserably.  Water intake has also been a change, instead of drinking flavored drinks I now opt for water at work and at home.  At work I am really good at drinking lots of water, but when I get home I don’t hydrate as much as I should.  Am describing these things in detail to show that weight loss takes a lot of work and effort there’s no miracle process or magic pill as the ads describe.  When it comes down to it, it’s a matter of work and lifestyle changes.  “Todo lo bueno cuesta,” everything worthwhile requires effort. 

Keeping hydrated.

The other day I was in the elevator traveling up to my office and I was met by a friend who was having a birthday, so I bestowed good wishes and she replied, “It sucks getting older.”  To which I replied, “I love getting older, because I feel more comfortable in my skin, more confident...” I have learned that as adults we have the power to live a life worthy of us and we have a responsibility to live it well.  God wants us to be happy and as adults we are accountable to live a life worthy of such a godly blessing.  When we reach the end of our years, may we come to God with multiplied talents (a life well lived) as our offering and may He greet us with, “Well, done, my good and faithful servant.” 

"Well done, good and faithful servant. 

You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; 

enter into the joy of your master."