Solemnity of All Saint’s Day: Saint Joan of Arc

The Solemnity of All Saint’s Day is this Sunday.  Sometimes with all the hoopla of Halloween (October 31) and Dia de Los Muertos (November 2), Catholics forget that every year our church dedicates a day (November 1) to celebrating the lives of all the men and women who have attained heaven.  Generally the day is a Holy Day of Obligation, meaning that we must attend Mass to participate in this great festivity.  This year it falls on a Sunday, so Father is encouraging all the kids in our community to dress as saints, these children in costume will walk in procession during the beginning of our liturgical celebration. Also, tonight at my parish we hold our annual Fall Fest, in which the children in our community also come in costume (representing a saint of their devotion) and participate in games, a pizza dinner, yummy treats, crafts and a spooky critters presentation.  My nephew and I love going together every year. 

Anyway, as a way to commemorate all these festivities I usually choose a saint at the beginning of October and spend the entire month getting to know my saint.  This year I went with Saint Joan of Arc, only because I fell upon a novel that Mark Twain wrote about her (I usually like more feminine costumes, smile).  The novel happens to be Twain’s favorite amongst his works, he spent two years gathering information before he wrote it.  The book presents Saint Joan as a beautiful, innocent girl of seventeen who loves God and has such an intimate relationship with her Creator that she’s able to hear God’s voice.  There are many times when she gets lost in ecstasy in God’s presence.  The story goes, that one day while she’s out in the forest the Archangel Michael appears and shares with her God’s desire for her to defend France against the invading armies. After this encounter she leaves her small countryside village and heads out to comply with her God given mission.  After enduring a long, tiresome inquisition into her mental faculties the king and his court finally succeed and give her the army she has requested.  Her pure spirit is extremely contagious and she brings to faith many of the soldiers under her command.  Though she is illiterate and has never been taught in military strategy she leads her country to victory. And this is where I am in the novel. I know that she gets captured and sentenced to trial for heresy and cross-dressing and is eventually burned at the stake.

What I learned from Saint Joan…

Courage- She was a brave girl who said yes to God’s calling even though she was a simple, uneducated peasant girl.  She led an army, restored the confidence of her country and encouraged her soldiers to be men of God.  There’s this great story in which she meets “La Hire” a hardened and experience soldier who was notorious as the worst blasphemer in the army and she is able to reach his heart.  He becomes one of Joan’s greatest supporters.  With his help, Saint Joan brings morality and faith into the army camp banishing blasphemy, gambling, and prostitution insisting on regular participation of religious practices.  All these changes required a lot of courage on her part.

Obedience- Though she was very aware of her weaknesses in character, in position and just in her sex she honored God’s will for her life.  She left her family and all she knew in compliance with God’s will.  Her yes allowed God to work through her for the betterment of others.  And in obedience she gave up her life for her faith and for her mission.

Love- Though she was this great military leader she still was a girl with a soft heart who cared deeply about each person under her command.  She wanted everyone to experience the goodness of God.

Lately, I have been so busy with things that were not part of my plans, just life unexpected happening.  Things that brought me really down and made me afraid and unsure of so many things.  I lost my focus for a bit and hurt people through my own insecurities.  I am a doer and sometimes it’s really challenging for me to wait and be patient - to trust in the will of God and His plans for my life in peaceful inactivity.  I especially get fearful of inactivity when death reminds me of time and its merciless passing.  I am finally understanding that I need to work on not freaking out every time I attend a funeral.  That I should reflect on my life, but do it in a constructive manner.  Yes, death is always lurking by and yes we have no idea when our time is up; but I cannot allow these observations to send me in a fearful riot.  I am in God’s plan and in His time things will happen – I just need to learn to chill out (smile).  Yesterday, as I worked on my costume and reflected on Saint Joan I realized that God is also a doer and sometimes I need to let Him do and just relax - to trust in Him like Saint Joan, to have courage and faith in His plans.

Random Thoughts: A Degree in Love With a Minor in Cheesy

Life is short and it goes by so quickly; those that are able to grasp this truth live life more authentically free.  Knowing the end is near makes our today, our right now more precious and encourages us to enjoy every moment and every person haorita.  Sometimes in order for us to come to the conclusion that life ends unscheduled, uncaringly and abruptly- we must lose someone we truly love.  When death hits home (in the core of our being) we are taught very unwillingly lessons that mark the course of our lives.  One that time is our enemy because we are constantly running out of it; that love gives meaning and purpose to life; that we need each other to heal, to partake in happiness and in sadness and to experience life as it was meant to be - shared, in unity and communion with one another and with God.

Time stops for no one.  Even in the deepest tempests of human pain, life goes on.  Though pain causes us to halt, to stop long enough to catch our breath – time continues its course.  Yet, loss humbles us enough to understand that our days are relentlessly numbered - this confrontation with the finite can be a great blessing if we allow it.  This knowing gives us a deep desire to live life more passionately, and carefree.  It challenges us to reconsider and restore our priorities and values.  Love suddenly becomes the number one priority.  When loss hits us we realize that status, power, fame, possessions are meaningless in comparison to love.  As the old saying says, “it’s better to love and have lost…” When we love and are loved back in return heaven comes to earth and God manifests His beauty in the single act of loving.  Those who Love finds worthy are in the heart of God.  I love our Pope because he’s what I call “all heart”- he speaks from his heart, acts from his heart - he’s not afraid to act simply on inspirations he feels deep within his heart.  This heart courage is admirable and so uniquely real and rare.  Most of us would rather hide than expose our feelings. To admit and profess our love takes courage and vulnerability, but when we are real that’s when we connect with one another.  Because everyone is attracted to “realness” to truth.  I have been thinking a lot lately about the scriptures in the New Testament that use lamps as metaphors.  God is not only telling us to shine our light or exhorting us to be the light for others, but also to be authentic – to be real.  I think of the saints and how “real” they were.  Saint Francis of Assisi showed no concerned when others thought he had lost his mind because he decided to give everything to restore God’s church, Mother Teresa didn’t care that others thought she had gone rogue when she decided to leave the convent to help the poor and destitute, Joan of Arc didn’t care when people laughed thinking she was a crazy dame for requesting an army to fight for God’s Kingdom… Our friends the Saints had kingdom vision. They understood that following God and doing His will would not always be popular, sometimes they would be huge outcasts; but, throughout history we remember them because they had the courage to be truly authentic and obedient to God’s will.  They didn’t care to have fifty likes, or a million followers and they sure didn’t care what others thought when they showed God’s love to others.  Yet, I see in my Christian circle fear of expressing love towards one another in panic of what others will think or say and it sadness me that we who have God in our hearts allow such pettiness to keep us from showing God’s love to one another.  And this anxiety of expression is an epidemic that affects all believers because we allow pride and fear to reign in our lives.  But sometimes if we are fortunate and malleable the pain of great loss forms us into better lovers.  I am medically diagnosed as mentally ill so maybe when I profess my love towards others people just assume it’s the bipolar in me, but death has freed me to say and do what my heart feels because time is our enemy and we never know when our time will come to an end.  I want to leave knowing I loved much and that my lot of people felt and knew it.  I want to graduate from this life with a degree in love and a minor in cheesy (smile).

Dia de Los Muertos: Death is A Passage To Heaven

On Saturday, I attended the 18^th annual Dia de Los Muertos event at Hollywood Forever Cemetery.  The event celebrates the Mexican tradition of remembering and honoring the dead once a year by decorating the graves of our beloved.  When I was a child in Mexico, each year we would go decorate my grandparents’ graves with the traditional marigold flowers, pictures and favorite foods of our loved ones.  The altars built on the graves could be simple or extremely elaborate and creative.  During the day we would gather at the gravesite as a family, share a meal and recall funny and memorable events about our abuelitos.  It would also be a day of prayer, we would pray together as a family for the souls of our departed and offer a Eucharistic celebration in remembrance and intercession for their souls.  It was also typical to transform ourselves into Catrinas by painting our faces to resemble skulls.  This is a satirical action that represents the limited power of death; for death is only a passage towards the next life- a life in heaven with Christ.  Overall the celebration holds a very festive, happy feeling which helps those in this world heal and support one another because to us death is not final.  It promotes family and community unity giving us a universal reason to gather together while sharing personal stories remembering our dearly departed.  Most important is a day of faith, a day in which we honor Jesus’ death and resurrection because He is the way, our guide into eternal life.

Death is so unnatural and difficult for everyone even people of faith.  Though I believe in life after death and though God gives me courage I still hurt when I lose someone I love. During these days I’ve heard friends’ say, “They don’t do well with death,” as reason to excuse themselves from accompanying loved ones during the trials and challenges of loss.  But that's just selfish talk- no one does well with death- even Jesus cried when his buddy died because it hurts!  It’s painful and unnatural for everyone.  Thus, it makes me happy that my culture has a day to celebrate and honor those people who mean so much to us and are no longer physically present.  Remembering our loved ones helps us heal and gives us hope, but more importantly it makes us thankful for the promises of Jesus and His heroic actions.  Happy thought - death is a passage to God not a destination.

Below are pictures of my early Dia de Los Muertos enjoy!  Though of course this event in Hollywood is completely secular, our diocese does a great job each year hosting a Dia de Los Muertos liturgical celebration, I encourage you to learn more about this beautiful Catholic tradition. DIOCESE OF ORANGE CELEBRATES ALL SOULS DAY IN HONOR OF THE DEPARTED

One of the decorated graves with the typical sugar skull motif.

 Beautiful dispaly & models.

 A collage of various graves.

 I know you like cats, this one reminded me of you. 

 A Peruvian decorated grave.

 This one was inside a vintage Volkswagen.

 When I was little we used to make "El Ojo de Dios" which is that triangular art piece.

These girls added acrobats to their altar decor. 

In addition to the artistic displays there was also great music and delicious food.

Theology on Tap in the OC

Father Spitzer and his fan club.

Yesterday I went to Theology on Tap with my friends.  We normally like attending these kind of social gatherings to hang out with each other while supporting Catholic events and learning more about our faith.  Last night, a man I admire so much (that if he had a fan club I would volunteer as president) came to deliver a talk on happiness.  A topic that encompasses his latest book, Finding True Happiness Satisfying Our Restless Hearts, which I bought and got signed with a personal dedication to me! Ok so he was signing and personally dedicating every book sold- but that doesn’t take the special out of my signed copy (smile).  Father Robert Spitzer is a genius, a treasure of the Catholic Church, who when he speaks (though my ignorant mind only comprehends the simplest concepts) he presents God’s truth in such relatable ways.  He speaks of science, philosophy, theology all as supporting pillars - as brothers that nurture each other to reveal deep spiritual truths.  He challenges us to ask questions, to dig deep into matters of faith to allow ourselves to know God through channels that perhaps we thought conflicted or even denied God.  Last night he simplified things quite a lot from his usual manner of speaking, knowing his audience was largely young adults and he added his warm, geeky sense of humor and had us laughing in true spirit of his happiness topic!  Father Spitzer is the Catholic science guy- and I am super attracted to his genius because before my conversion I always thought that science and religion couldn’t coexist.  To me, the two subjects were enemies and a choice had to be made between the two.  Being a “college” educated woman I made my erroneous choice and went with science, but when I realized that science didn’t satisfy the deep longings in my soul, that it left a lot to be desired and much to the unknown; I went with God.  And it was with God that I realized that I didn’t need to choose because God created science and knowledge and He encourages us to explore and get to know Him through His creation.  Science gives us glimpses into the genius of God!  And Father Spitzer has been a very influential figure in my life because he’s the smartest man I know- and his smarts are his way to God.  Sometimes, when we look at Christian spirituality from the outside it can appear like a religion based on fantastical fairytales and myths and this false appearance can distract us from God.  We make erroneous assumptions that all Christians must be brainless dimwits- I know that’s how I saw Christians- but now I know better.  Now I know that our church began the first universities because it understands the power of education and some of the greatest minds in history are devout Catholics who questioned and investigated the claims of our God and our church.  Thus, I recommend that if you are having trouble reconciling science with God search the writings and talks of Father Spitzer he’s a true gem a great resource!

These monthly Theology on Tap events in Orange County, have been made popular by Father Bartus, an Anglican priest who converted into the Catholic Church a few years ago as part of the reunification program authorized by Pope Benedict.  He and his whole congregation were converted into the Catholic Church- neat-o right!  Father Bartus has this great desire to evangelize the youth, especially college age kids and Bishop Vann has given him the green light to create these social gatherings to encourage, support, inform and guide young Catholics.  It’s great to see this revival in the young community, to know that healthy (yet fun) events exist for people to socialize and learn more about their Catholic faith.  I took quite a few pics enjoy.    

Father Bartus introducing Father Spitzer.

Valiant Brewery is a Catholic company that opens it's doors

 to most of the events providing some local good cheer.

Speaking on happiness- and St. Augustine, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in you."  

A sizable diverse crowd.

 Great talk as always!

My friend getting her book signed.

Evangelizing Halloween

Saint Helena of Constantinople, Saint Kateri, Saint Cleopatra

Before my conversion Halloween was by tops my favorite holiday.  There’s just something quite appealing (for a shy introvert) in fantastical transformation, especially if I must muster the courage only one day a year (smile). Becoming someone completely sensational, someone completely different from me, a character that has lived deep in my childish wonderland is like conquering a hidden dream.  While my past costume selection have always been some variation of a pretty princess, as I came to know God and my faith grew there was an inner transformation that slowly took place in regards to how I celebrate Hallows Eve.  In 2007, I was a member of Jovenes Para Cristo a big family of fellowship and also a very conservative Catholic group.  It was there that I learned that Halloween is a very controversial holiday in the Christian world.  Every year we heard a talk on the origins and history of the holiday.  The themes of evil, demonic and the occult were topics that were strictly impressed upon us and we were told not participate in the evil day.  To stand in solidarity against the darkest night of the year.  Though I didn’t agree with some of the viewpoints expressed during our annual anti-Halloween talk I stopped participating.  I stopped dressing up and what was once one of my favorite days of the year now turned into a day of uncomfortable sadness, of repressed dreams and creativity. 

Even my dog gets in the fun!

As I meditated on Halloween for a couple years while I turned off the lights and closed my door to trick-or-treaters I realized that not participating didn’t make my day any holier.  In fact, in a desire to oppose Satan by not participating in one of my favorite celebrations I was also pushing God out of my October thirty-first.  One day, in a homily Father made a side comment which began my recreation of what I now call "Holy Halloween."  He said dressing up for Halloween is not bad and he encouraged those “kids” who wanted to dress in costume to think of being a saint for Halloween.  It was one of those eureka moments where my mind raced and my heart made flips inside – because I knew that Halloween was a day of the Lord too and a great day to evangelize and to share my faith with others.  What other day are people out in the streets coming to your door interacting?  I began with placing “Jesus loves you” stickers on the candies I passed out.  This became a great tradition that my nephew and I do every year.   A few days before Halloween each year while we mark our candies we talk about God and just spend time bonding.  I was listening to the radio and a Catholic speaker mentioned that she passes little cards to evangelize the people that come to her door and then prays for their deceased during November- I might try that next.  We carve pumpkins using the Pumpkin Gospel which is a beautiful book that uses the carving process to tell our salvation story.  You take icky stuff out of the pumpkin, clean it all out to put God’s light in and then the pumpkin shines just like we do when God is in our lives.

Saint Elizabeth of Hungary & Saint Francis of Assisi

The biggest thing that I have implemented is dressing up as a saint.  I love medieval times so usually I choose a saint from that era (smile).  At first, I would just pick a saint using google and read a quick Wikipedia bio on her and that was the end of that.  But as the years have passed I now order a good book biography and during the entire month of October I read about the saint and learn more about her.  This year in addition to reading Mark Twain’s Joan of Arc, I am also praying a novena to Saint Joan with my friends.  I am not too knowledgeable of the Catholic saints so it’s great that my October routine helps me grow in wisdom and to make friends with great intercessors.  The thing I learned is that every day is a day for God, and we need to have the creativity to use pagan holidays for God’s work much like our church has done throughout history.            

Traveling With Instructions - Boundaries are Good

Boundaries are good.  I remember when I used to teach high school on the first day of class as we went over the classroom rules I would always share with my students the importance of following rules.  “Let’s take for example,” I would say, “that one morning one person decided that he was not going to stop at red lights- can you imagine the destruction that would cause? When we drive we rely on others keeping the rules for our safety.”  In order to create an environment conducive to growth we must set and abide by rules.  This order provides a sense of safety and safety allows us to take risks knowing that we won’t fall to our demise. Rules also clarify expectations and show us our roles within any given relationship.  I love the first account of creation in the book of Genesis because God establishes that order is good.  In six days He creates in an orderly manner and gives man duties and rules.  One of the things I love about our Creator is that He is a God of order, He doesn’t like chaos and always wants us to live in harmony.  Our past history shows time and again, God’s efforts to reestablish harmony after our repeated attempts to fall into chaos.  After numerous tries, we come to understand that on our own we are unable to live in everlasting peace (we just always find a way to mess it up); thus, God gives us Jesus as His final way to bring us back to Him were we find eternal peace and harmony.  Catholicism gets a bad rap, people associate it with the “no” religion because people misunderstand that rules are good for us.  When there is love (and love is God) order is always present.

I remember growing up my mom gave me what then seemed like a ton of limitations.  She gave me a really early curfew, if I went out I needed to leave contact information and she needed to meet the people before I left the house, the clothes I wore needed her approval, I always needed to ask for permission to attend any school or extracurricular event, if one of my friends didn’t meet her approval she would ask me to rethink that friendship and wouldn’t let me hang out with the girl friend outside of school… I remember I used to envy girls at school who had no rules and whose parents gave them all the freedom that I was lacking.  Yet, when I graduated from university I realized that if my mom hadn’t imposed all those rules (especially during the troublesome years of adolescence) I would probably have ended pregnant and working to make ends meet like many of the girls I had envied did.  Rules sometimes feel like an imposition and even like there’s no love.  Especially in these modern times where relativism is the new world philosophy and the mindset that there’s no absolutes between good and bad has consumed many of the mindsets of developed countries.  Yet, if one has had the blessing of having good parents or is a parent we can better understand that the old, traditional, family values by establishing high morality really are creating a safe environment for the better development of our children.  Furthermore, if anyone has been in love before, we experience this desire for the best in our beloved and usually the best is reached through discipline.  In lighter terms, the greatest athletes develop their talents by setting rules and abiding to a set order.  Thus, when there are so many examples in a healthy society based on the following of established ways of government how can we say rules are bad? If anything rules are good- they guide, protect and inspire us to grow and succeed.

In order to win a game, we need to know the rules first.  My nephew likes to play Monopoly.  The other day he had a friend over and they decided to play the board game. Before the game began my nephew explained the rules to his friend.  As I watched this exchange between the two, I realized how even in the most trivial life experiences rules are still essential.  Boundaries help win games, but in a more personal level they create healthy relationships.  When a boundary is clearly defined and respected- we don’t need to set up walls anymore, we begin to trust and to learn how to act towards our beloved.  Weak boundaries leave us vulnerable, but a healthy set of expectations will produce respect and show us how to treat one another well and protect us from exploitive relationships.  Also, regarding the matter of fear- when there are clear expectations fear diminishes and our actions are motivated by love and not insecurity.  We are no longer easily hurt or offended because we have developed a mutual understanding of how things work between the two.  All this shedding of insecurities, fears and negativity are made possible by creating order and building together harmoniously.  God knew the importance of order that’s why He created the law or covenant with our ancestors.  Our church shares in this wisdom in keeping order and structure throughout time- even when it’s tested and ridiculed – it still chooses God’s way because His truth is eternal and the only way to real happiness and peace.

You Cannot Correct What You Are Unwilling to Confront

Good communication is vital in any relationship- it helps us grow, trust is gained, problems are worked out… It’s the glue that deepens our connections.  The other day my best friend told me that something I said a few months ago really hurt her feelings.  She had been carrying onto this hurt and finally she was able to voice it.  I listened to her and though it’s not easy to hear how I hurt another, confrontation is vital in keeping and cultivating strong relationships.  We were able to talk about the problem and afterwards we felt safe and happy that we were able to clear the air.  This little act renewed our friendship and in the end we laughed and hugged it out.  I also learned that I need to tame my tongue and be more vigilant about the things I say and how I say them to prevent myself from inflicting the same hurt again.  Many people steer away from confrontation because it’s uncomfortable and the fear of rejection is always lurking nearby.  Some even believe that instead of confrontation being a constructive way to strengthen relationships it will only aggravate the problem more.  Yet, I have found that the people in my life who have the courage to tell me when I am wrong are the people that love me most.  They tell me my wrongs not to point fingers, but to help me grow. They also do it in a very loving manner, usually in a safe, private place with a calm voice and the desire for resolution.  As difficult as these moments are they are essential in keeping healthy, satisfied relationships.  Contrary to common belief disagreements in relationships are healthy. They build connection, empower relationships, clarify problems, bring solutions, encourage growth, strengthen trust and create a safe haven for love to persevere.  In our Catholic faith we are taught that love wants the best for the beloved and sometimes in order to inspire growth in another we need these moments of difficult dialogue to bring forth positive change.  Yet, we must always remember to do so lovingly without attacking or belittling our friend.

Healthy confrontations are thought through.  First, I must examine the problem and examine my feelings.  If I am hurt and feel like I have been wronged then I need to find the proper words to express myself in a way that is not attacking the other person, rather encouraging an open dialogue.  I need to try to speak when I am calm and not emotional so that I can speak clearly and rationally.  I also must choose my words carefully, knowing in advance what I want to say.  Finally, I need to set reasonable expectations.  The other person might disagree with me or I might not get an apology if I feel like I need one.  Also, I need to be prepared to listen to the response of the other person and be willing to engage in constructive conversation.  In the end, no matter the results I need to be proud of my strength to be honest (even vulnerable) and willing to work things out.

Love is Hard Work and Hard Work Sometimes Hurts

I have been studying the classical prophets, the men sent by God to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.  While examining the “Book of Amos,” I finally understood why God punished all the nations that disobeyed and turned against Him.  He did so out of love, to guide and bring back to goodness His beloved.  We usually associate love with joy, with getting our way; but, God’s Word teaches us that love while it produces good feelings it’s quite a serious commitment.  It’s not something that comes natural- many times we find ourselves needing to choose to love especially when we are hurting and it feels so darn unnatural.  The prophet Amos goes out into the many tribes, telling the people that they have turned against God that their ways have created separation between themselves and God.  He warns them to return to God, to repent of their sin and to remember their story of deliverance but they refuse to listen.  So, God uses tough love to get them back in the right path.  We forget that love wants the best for the beloved and sometimes the best requires a form of tough love.  A good parent disciplines his child when the child needs guidance.  Good parents don’t stand by and allow their children to walk in a destructive path. Thus, love means making tough choices for the well-being of the beloved.

I was reading an article about how many single people have this erroneous view that love comes naturally and effortlessly.  Yet, if we look at our Christian faith we see the opposite.  Love is hard! Just examine the popular verse in Corinthians, the verse often recited at weddings and we begin to see that love requires practice and a lifetime of learning.  “Love is patient, love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.  It doesn’t insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” If I were to substitute my name where love is, I wouldn’t get very far, “Penny is patient, Penny is kind…”  I would fail right at the start because I lose my patience (some days quicker than others) and when I am hurt I just think of protecting myself and not about being kind.  Most everything requires a great deal of discipline, effort and practice.  If we want to become great athletes or performers we need to invest a great deal because developing skills always requires effort and commitment.  Thus, if trivial things like becoming great athletes requires work how can we say that love doesn’t require even more dedication.  In scripture we see that love is more than a beautiful feeling that comes from our hearts, real love is a choice that requires action (love heals, forgives, provides, communicates, befriends…).  It’s not an everlasting pink feeling, but a sacrificial choice that many times steps all over our pride and delivers us from selfishness.  It’s an active doing that doesn’t depend on feeling, but on choice. That doesn’t mean that love is devoid of emotion- it just means that we must act like Christians even if our feelings betray us. 

LOL 

Love is hard that’s why we need to abide in God, to get our strength from Him and even invite Him to love through us when we feel incapable of doing it. We also need to practice loving every day so that we can become better lovers.  We need to remain connected to the source of love through prayer.  To talk to Him about our personal struggles and ask Him for guidance.  In the narratives of the classical prophets we see that love is hard.  God had to use tough love to get Israel back on the right path, but we also learn that tough love is always controlled by a soft heart. Read Chapter Elven verse eight through nine in the “Book of Hosea.” In those two verses God says, I won’t destroy you because my love is greater than my anger. I am God, the Holy One, who can control my wrath and behave like God.  Even though God exercises tough love on His chosen people and even though He disciplines them - above all He loves them!  These Old Testament narratives teach us that love is not easy, that sometimes love doesn’t feel good, that sometimes it feels like we are being punished- but love straightens our paths and corrects our behavior in hopes of making us better versions of ourselves.

Love Creates

I learned in life that as an adult I have the power and responsibility to live the life that I want to live.  While there are many things that are out of my control things that I must trust, have faith and leave to God’s providence – I also have learned that many things are within my reach and realm of duty and responsibility.  When God created us He gave us work and leadership over His entire creation- He trusted us enough to do great things.  While He could have done everything for us, like a good parent He made things in a manner that helps build confidence in ourselves, others and in God through the effort we put in our works.  As we excel in life, overcoming challenges, making smart choices and working hard in our assigned lot- trust in ourselves, in others and in God also develops.  To put it simply, love creates.  God is love, out of His perfect love we come into existence- we are products of heavenly love – in Christ we are told to imitate God to become more like Christ. Thus, in our humanity we too must imitate our Creator and create.  We create better versions of ourselves, we build stronger relationships with creation, with others and with God because He created us for relationship. In the creation accounts in Genesis, we are told that after God created He was happy with everything that He created.  Every day after His new creation He would sit back, relax, and contemplate His creation.  And every day He liked what He saw- He was satisfied and happy with His work.  The only time when the Bible mentions that God saw something wrong or rather lacking was when He looked at Adam and saw Adam’s loneliness.  Thus, He created a helper - a companion for Adam, someone like him.  When Adam saw Eve, he was beyond ecstatic, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” he exclaims!  And God seeing that all was good blesses man and gives him the commission to create- “be fruitful and multiply.”

In human terms we speak of growth with another when we say, “I want someone to grow old with.”  But what does that mean?  Does it mean I want someone that will physically age with me?  Or do we mean someone who will grow individually and with me as we journey through life together?  While it’s great to have a companion- if two people aren’t growing together things will fizzle out because love creates.  In the biblical account of Peter and Jesus, we see a great example of love growing. Peter goes from a friendly type of love (philia) to an unconditional, perfect love (agape) because Peter is open to growth and Jesus’ patient love waits for him to finally catch up.  Peter’s openness and desire to become more like Christ – his ability to grow enables the relationship between himself and Christ to thrive.  So great is their connection that God trusts him with specific authority, authority to govern the house of God and the keys of the kingdom. 

In our own humanity we see love creating when two people get married their love creates another human being.  From the love of two people a baby is born.  However, before that takes place there’s a simpler path of creation between two- it’s a relational edification.  First, there’s this period of infatuation when both feel a strong attraction towards the other, followed by a period of honesty and getting to know each other as we truly are or developing a strong friendship, then comes a period of discernment of accepting that you are interested in this special person as something more than a friend, followed by courting, engagement and marriage.  The rhythm of growth is something that depends on the two people involved and finding a person to move in synchronization with takes time and patience.  If two people haven't found their rhythm, but both demonstrate a willingness to work together to find it - that's still creating. Unlike God's ability to create perfectly, our humanness means that our creations will sometimes need development, redrafting, editing and even reconstruction.  Yet, in a matter of two teamwork is needed (both need to grow) otherwise harmony is lost or never achieved.

Our Refuge Our Strength

One of my favorite paintings of Jesus is “Our Refuge Our Strength” by Morgan Weistling.  I have a copy above my computer at work and all day during my shift I get to contemplate it.  I love the scene depicted so much, Saint Peter reaching from the depths of the ocean towards Jesus and Jesus reaching back pulling him out from despair.  Peter looks stuck in quite the predicament, the waves crashing most of his body is consumed by the oceanic tempest; yet, Jesus looks calm and only needs one hand to rescue Peter.  What I love most this morning is that Peter is reaching out and finds Jesus’ hand.  When I began my reversion towards God, I remember that He gave me tons of spiritual consolations.  When I reached towards Him I was always certain to find Him, then as our relationship grew these consolations started fading.  Because I no longer received tangible manifestations of His presence in my life (of Him reaching back towards me) I began to doubt and became frightened thinking that He had deserted me.  Soon I discovered that He was challenging my faith to grow stronger- He was asking me to believe in Him to place my trust in Him even if I didn’t see Him.  After all that’s what faith is: to believe in the unseen, to trust in God based on spiritual understanding rather than proof. Nonetheless, like my past brother’s I wanted a golden calf to worship- meaning I wanted tangible evidence of His love and existence.  I still struggle with this today especially when I am going through my own tempests and instead of walking on water towards Him my doubts sink me deeper in despair and I too scream like Peter, “Lord save me!”  And immediately Jesus reaches out his hand towards me, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”  It’s a challenge to believe and trust in God all the time – especially in adversity.  My faith gets shaken, disturbed and I become afraid- BUT when I am at my weakest I KNOW that if I reach out my hand I will always find His reaching towards me.  Maybe someday my faith will be so strong that I will too walk on water towards Jesus, today my faith is small enough to trust that when I sink He will pull me out.

Reaching out and finding a supporting hand takes trust this trust is built slowly and it’s an exchange between two.  If I reach out towards you will you be there reaching back? If I come towards you will you come out to meet me?  These are things that go through my mind when I am learning to trust someone else.  It’s a matter of walking towards the other person and learning to trust that he is also coming to meet me.  As two people interact more and there’s a mutual exchange of encounter the insecurity of whether the other person will be there no longer terrifies because you know through faith in the other that he will be there and vice versa.  It takes a lot of vulnerability and humility to reach out to another initially because we are putting ourselves out there.  Showing and expressing our feelings to another is something that we have learned to hide because it can bring a lot of pain to be exposed, even more if we are exposed and rejected.  That’s why Jesus reminds us all the time to be more like children.  Children are honest and haven’t learned to hide themselves because they are simple folk.  They look at life with optimism and curiosity- with quite a sense of adventure- and they believe the best in others.  They get angry, fight but can never hold resentment for long.  They specialize in vulnerability.  They don’t see their or other people’s weaknesses instead they ask questions about all the things they don’t know… Yet, we grow up and we learn to hide and to distrust others, to be afraid to express our feelings, to fear being seen as we really are and afraid to reach out to another.  We give rejection such a strong hold in our lives that sometimes this fear paralyzes us.  In God we find hope.  If we hurt each other, if we find that we are not compatible or any other negative discovery we need to trust that God will provide what we need- be it healing.  We have a God who walks on water towards us when we sink- this should inspire us to go out there and get dirty, to get hurt because in the end God will heal us and encourage and be with us no matter the resolution of our relationships. We can't let fear or pride dictate our actions, we need to humble ourselves like children knowing that there's no hurt God cannot heal (smile). That if I extend my hand God will always be reaching towards it.     

Feast of Saint Francis & The Blessing of The Animals

“Companions nourish our heart, mind, soul and body.  They are people that we can celebrate the sharing of bread.  Perhaps the most touching stories in the Bible are about companionship: the Last Supper, the wedding of Cana, the sharing of loaves and fishes, and Jesus breaking bread with his disciples on the road to Emmaus.  Each incident of companionship with Jesus revealed more about his mercy, love, wisdom, suffering and hope…  Throughout history, other faithful companions have followed Jesus and the Apostles.  These saints and mystics have taken the journey from conversion, through suffering, to resurrection.  Just as they were inspired by holy people who went before them, so too can we take them as our companions as we walk on our spiritual journey.”  Praying with the saints is just that asking holy people to walk with us and intercede on our behalf.  God calls us to be prophets, priest and kings- to lead holy lives, and gives us a community to encourage, inspire and help us.  We simply cannot become saints on our own.  Every October I pray with my beloved Saint Francis of Assisi- I do a novena and I study his life.  Years ago when I returned to the Catholic Church, I was at a prayer meeting with Jovenes Para Cristo and the choir began singing “The Prayer of Saint Francis (The Peace Prayer)” and I remember that I began sobbing loudly, I felt this great healing taking place inside me and I heard the call of God – He was calling me to be His instrument.  Every word in the hymn felt so personal, so directed at me.  Later that night I learned that the prayer had been inspired by Saint Francis of Assisi and as popular as that saint is I had no idea who he was, but I felt a great connection to him.  I had fallen in love with him through song.  I finally understood the role of saints within the Catholic faith- they are our friends who walk with us to heaven, who intercede and inspire us.

Throughout the years, since my first encounter with God’s troubadour, I have built a great relationship with him, we are very chummy.  I feel like he accompanies me everywhere I go- when I travel and I find him in foreign countries my heart rejoices.  His order is responsible for the conversion of Mexico so as much as he is involved in my present he also has deep roots in my past.  I love the legends that surround his life, his connection to God’s creation, the simple values that he lived by and his commitment to God.  He challenges and inspires me.  I love knowing that he began his life wanting the things of the world like honor, prestige, and wealth.  He was a spoiled man, the life of the party who wasted his days in worldly pleasures- but has such a deep conversion that nothing but God will quench his thirst.  I understand his past because I too lived for the next party, but I LOVE (more) his conversion and the life that came after- that gives me hope.  I love the Franciscan spirituality: radical poverty, kinship with all people, oneness with nature, embrace the enemy, appreciation for suffering, for peace making, for joy and companionship.  Though I still have a great, great deal to grow in my spirituality Saint Francis inspires me.

Yesterday, was his feast day and parishes usually do the blessing of animals around his feast day so on Saturday I got to take my love, my doggy to get blessed.  There were around forty other critters at the blessing, mostly dogs so my dog had a fabulous time meeting new friends.  I really enjoyed the blessing this year because the deacon came around dog by dog and called our animals by name and blessed the dog and the owner!  Before the blessing he read the Genesis story of Adam naming all the animals so it was just so special and complete.  After the blessing when we arrived home my dog passed out in a peaceful slumber (smile).