My little fur ball turned eleven this past Sunday and off to
the park for a long walk we went… He
chased some ducks, geese and stopped to say hello to a few dogs along the
way. Then he came home and had a nice
turkey dinner and some cheesy snacks especially made for his birthday. He snuggled close to me at night and
requested a full body massage before finally falling asleep. I never had a pet that’s lived so long nor
one that I loved as much because he’s really all my own. He understands
that I am the leader of the pack and trusts me with his life. It’s cute every day as I arrive from work he’s
sitting outside on the front lawn waiting for me to come home. As soon as he hears the sound of my car
before I am even parked he’s already stretching and waiting for his daily “I am
back from work” mushy talk and massage from me. I love my little guy so much
that it scares me to know that he is older (since dogs have a short life span),
but I try not to think about that and enjoy him to the max every day!
During my mental breakdown he was the one that saved my life…
One dark night as I contemplated taking my life I looked into the eyes of my
loyal mutt and I knew that he wouldn’t be able to live without me. As I toyed with the idea of ending my existence
the voices in my head ordered me to kill my dog before I killed myself. I had no problem at the time with stopping
the pain through suicide, but the thought of killing my dog was incomprehensible. Then my hallucinations ordered me to take him
faraway and lose him in a park or give him away if I was too weak to do
as they asked. I looked at my little guy
and saw the worry in his eyes and the depth of his love and I knew that
something in me was really not right. I
put away the pills and waited beside my loyal companion all night for day to
come. In the morning I asked my family
for help and was taken to the hospital.
My dog is my hero. The day I adopted
him I had a broken heart, when I lost my brother the warmth of his body comforted
my pain & fear, when I lost my mind he helped me find myself again… He’s been my dearest friend and I love him to
infinity and beyond. He’s a dog of few
words, but every wave of his tail, lick of his tongue and look in his eyes
communicate his profound love… A nights
while I give him his full body massage before bed I write with my fingers on
his furry body words of love – my hope is that he knows how much I love him and
need him.
As he’s gotten older, this fantasy has formed in my mind and
I know that if he departs before me he will be waiting besides Jesus for
me. In heaven he & I will be able to
talk to each other in a common language and am sure we will spend infinity in
deep conversation. Happy birthday Dollar, Momma Penny loves you to infinity and beyond!
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