A Bridesmaid's Tale

Wine Tasting in Temecula

This beginning of the year has been a rather busy time for me.  I had three back-to-back weddings in April, May & June.  So for the past few months my weekends have been occupied doing wedding related activities like bridal showers, bachelorette weekends and the actual wedding celebrations.  As a bridesmaid I have been stressed out with the challenges of my role- I just can’t imagine how the groom and the bride get through the planning.  Feelings are bound to get hurt.  Mine were when at times I felt more like a commodity than an actual person sharing in a milestone moment. Or when I felt micromanaged by the expectations regarding my bridesmaid look. Or when the list of my responsibilities felt so piled that at times I felt more like a person on staff than an actual guest.  Weddings bring the best in us and also the worst!  They are beautiful moments that are high in emotion and challenge family & friend dynamics.  Luckily, I survived and am still friends with all my now married friends (smile).

LA rooftop wedding.

What I learned about myself during these past months is that if my feelings are hurt I cannot hide it and I even rebel becoming quite a difficult person.  I guess I haven’t mastered the turn the other cheek Christian mentality.  Obviously in wedding planning and in the activities approaching the festivity disagreements are inevitable.  Brides can become demanding, maids-of honor can become controlling and bridesmaids can become contrary.  I mean we must all work together for months even though we all have our own set of ideas; thus, disagreements and trials are bound to happen.  Anyone that has been part of a wedding party has a story to share about a problem they encountered or an issue that arose during the planning.  Yet, if we survive the hurts and quarrels our friendships become stronger.  We need trials to grow. 

Catholic Wedding

Kisses.

A bridesmaid firsts celebrates the honor to have been chosen to stand as a tangible expression of her bond to the bride in front of their community.  However, as the planning begins it can turn into a battle of wills and bank accounts depending on the personalities involved and the wishes of the bride - being a bridesmaid is both a time and financial commitment; thus, difficulties will occur.  Having three weddings in three months multiplied my stress even more because I had to contribute to each financially and with my time.  Though I did have my share of squabbles, the three brides were very supportive, understanding and open to discuss any challanges with me.  In the end, I learned that my friendships are stronger than the issues that arose.  We confronted our disagreements as mature adults with uncomfortable conversations (at times), knowing that even though our tactics varied we all wanted the wedding day to be a special occasion.  Most, importantly we survived and now they are married and I am free of bridal duties (wink).