I went to a
Catholic Conference this Saturday. I
arrived a bit angry and hurt to the event so much so that as praise
and worship began I thought, "God, I can’t sing right now." During part of the morning my harden heart
began to become more and more receptive to God’s love. I listened to three consecutive, phenomenal
talks by three priests and by the end of the third my heart had been
penetrated by God’s mercy and love. The
last priest I listened to brought his very used Bible and quoted scripture
easily, he talked about the verse “forgive them Lord, for they know not what
they are doing.” Jesus’ wisdom never
ceases to outstand me. Sometimes we want
people and our experiences to be perfect and free from conflict and
problems. Yet, as we enter new
experiences as we brave new, untraveled territory in our lives, Jesus’ lasts
words on the cross really are comforting (literally).
It’s ok to make mistakes especially when we don’t know what we are doing. Many people let the fear of making mistakes
keep them from some of the most wonderful experiences God wants to give
us. Yet, love (like God on the cross) always expects the best in and as is patient with the other. Jesus’ could have condemn us, but instead
excuses our sin as ignorance, “forgive them Lord, for they know not what they
are doing.” If he’s able to forgive and
excuse our shortcomings and ignorance, so must we do the same.
Later that
night, I went to a beautiful healing service and there my heart continued to
soften. When we have conflict with
another person, especially in the initial stages of a friendship when trust is
beginning to be shared and formed the enemy will take every opportunity to attack us. The powers of
darkness will whisper loudly that we are not good enough, that something is
wrong with us, that our friend no longer cares about us during the
disagreement. All lies that when one is
vulnerable can sound quite true. Yet,
conflict is essential for growth.
Mohandas Gandhi said, “Honest disagreement is often a good sign of
progress.” In order for a friendship to
mature it must endure trials and deeper revelations of one another. One thing that must remain ever present, that
we must always carry in our hearts is that disagreements are never a rejection
of the other. While parents might not
agree with many things their children do or the opinions they hold no matter
the difference what reigns above all and is unshaken is the love they have for
their children. Similarly, God loves us
even if He disagrees with our opinions and actions at times. He loves us regardless and believes the best
in and for us. We are told to imitate
God, thus we too must be patient with one another and trust that no matter the disagreement
the love between the two doesn’t change.
In new relationships sometimes we doubt that the other person cares when we messed up or had a disagreement, this insecurity can be very
painful. But as time passes and we face
together these moments of trial - trust in each other will grow and though
problems will continue to arise we will rest in the knowledge that no matter
the problems love prevails and is constant.
Just because we disagree doesn’t mean I no longer care about you.
As a friendship
grows there’s also this need for the other person- this doesn’t mean that you
are needy. With greater affection a need
for one another begins to grow and that can be scary and bring feelings of
insecurity because when we need another we feel vulnerable. Slowly and organically this need will be
satisfied in our togetherness and as trust is built that fear and vulnerability
will fade. Love is for the courageous,
we cannot be wimps, thus we must constantly pray for God’s help and
strength. Little by little, day by day
with God’s help we will get through these uncomfortable stages.
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