When I was
in high school a group of us founded a music club for those of us that felt a
great connection to Hip-Hop music. When
I visited teens in prison- this knowledge of nineties rap music helped me
connect with the boys in the juvenile detention center. We talked a great deal about Tupac, Eminem
and Biggie Smalls – the kids found it fascinating that a Christian woman knew
the history and lyrics to some of their favorite songs. Through music I was able to earn their
respect and after sometime talking about hip-hop they started sharing their
stories, dreams and hurts with me… Recently I posted a comment on my Facebook
page about how I really enjoyed “The Walking Dead” TV show and I got some commentary
on how that show is too dark and not of God.
Perhaps my friend is right- but to me my past has been full of darkness.
I had to overcome poverty, abuse, alcoholism,
domestic violence, addictions, mental illness- everything that I have I had to
fight for, nothing was given to me- I had to earn it. To me my faith has not been a walk through sunny
meadows – a lot of my past happened in darkness and it is because of this
darkness that I am so utterly grateful for God’s light. Sometimes when I am feeling really down I
listen to “Lose Yourself” by Eminem because it reminds me of where I came
from. As immigrants we came to this country
following the American Dream – yet dreams are not walks in the park they
require a lot of effort and sacrifice. Growing
up, I lived in a two bedroom apartment with eighteen other people- we were dirt
poor. Books became my escape and
education my ticket out. Yet, my
relatives always thought I would end up pregnant and all my efforts would go to
waste. Their desire for my failure
fueled me with the conviction to prove them wrong and I became the first person
in my entire family (relatives included) to graduate from university.
I been
thinking about Hip-Hop (though I don’t listen to that genre of music anymore) I
realized that we can’t judge people for expressing themselves the only way
they know how. A boy in the Ghetto is
not going to have the experiences or language of a boy in the suburbs. And
people will be drawn and connect to what they know. The character of Daryl in “The Walking Dead”
is a major reason I watch the show. I
love a good story of transformation (even if it has zombies in it) and Daryl
Dixon draws me in. He’s a character that
has been abused, neglected, and comes from a lineage of poverty and addictions. He begins as a man with a wall so high that
no one can get through. All his actions are motivated by self-interest and his
desire to survive. Yet, as this family
is formed through horrific circumstances, people begin to depend on him and to demonstrate
genuine love towards him. This display
of needing and loving him pushes him to become the best version of himself. The key issue is love. Love transforms. As I meditated on my friend’s comments about
this show being ungodly- I realized that our background is very different and
perhaps to her, God would never speak to her in art that has such difficult
themes, but to me He does. As I thought
about darkness associated with Hip-Hop music and some TV shows, I thought about
God and wondered if He really stays away from the dark valleys and I was
reminded of how Jesus leaves his sheep to go find the lost one. God will reach us wherever we find ourselves
through whatever means necessary. As we
grow in faith we should drop anything that causes us to sin, but art is
subjective and what speaks to me might not speak to you. I try to be vigilant about what I watch and what
I listen to (we all should be), but sometimes art that displays triumph over
darkness really speaks to my soul because I see pieces of me and am reminded of
my deliverance. God is omnipresent –
that means that’s He’s everywhere with the desire to reach each of us
personally (smile). Thanks be to God for that!
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