Growing in Friendship

In the garden of Eden, God did not want a gardener, but a friend.  From the beginning He gave us utmost value, and constantly in our biblical history we see the special place we have in God’s heart.  In yesterday’s reading, from the Gospel of John (15: 1-18), Jesus reveals the type of relationship God desires to have with each of us.  His descriptions are of unity, love, dependence and reliance on Him.  He wants us to be so close to Him - that is to ABIDE in Him or as my favorite verse states: “remain in me and I will remain in you.”  It’s worth repeating, remain in me and I will remain in you.  This verse has supported me through many trials because all I have to do is CHOOSE to remain in God and He will provide (even rescue me) when I have fallen into hardships.  It requires a simple action on my part and I will receive Him.  Though He seeks us first (and forever after that) He gives us the choice to choose Him because true love is given not bought or bullied… He created us for relationship with Himself and others.  When we are in relationship with God we produce fruits because love naturally yields blessings.  In abiding in God we learn how to love, and after we are trained to be lovers we are sent into the world to love as He first loved us...  We are so special, we are God’s chosen friends (smile).

Love is more than an emotion it requires action and the use of reason. God, teaches us how He wants to be loved (by us) through the keeping of the commandments, obedience and loving others.  I find it interesting that He tells us how He wants to be loved because each of us have our own unique way in which we feel loved.  A man wins my heart not with style or looks, but with words because I am moved by what I hear.  I love good conversation, because through it I get to know others better and my affection grows as each person through self-revelation begins to become a friend (no longer a stranger) in my eyes.  In establishing a friendship with the opposite sex a good dialogue has to begin at some point, as intimidating as that might be. While initially (due to nerves) the conversations might be a struggle, go nowhere or tank we must be patient and persistent.  Once you have my attention, with your handsome good looks (smile), you need to keep it by talking to me.  There’s nothing you can say that will push me away unless it violates one of my deal breakers and those are making me feel like a toy or disrespecting my loved ones or values.  We introverts are loyal creatures, and not scared away too easily because we are good at observing people’s characters through non-verbal cues.  When I become interested in someone it’s usually because I admire his character, humility and find him rather interesting.  And revealing yourself to me will cause my affection to grow because I love really getting to know others. Let’s be friends first, but friends that talk about everything (at the beginning words are important, but as time goes by just being in each other’s company silently is enough).

How do you establish that initial dialogue? If you know she likes you, trust that she will be extra patient and considerate with you.  Ask her a question, one that requires a longer answer than yes or no (smile). Or share something about yourself, believe me if she likes you she wants to know everything about you!  Be persistent if at first the conversation ends abruptly try again. Pray about everything and learn from the friendship that you have with God how to make this special one grow. Praying for you.