XLT 2013 held at our beautiful parish
When I was a
little girl one of my many favorite games was playing school… During summers I
would persuade my friends to transform themselves into students and I would
teach them a variety of subjects. I also
had a passion for reading. Thus, as I
grew up I believed that my life’s mission was to teach. At the start of university I knew that my
major would be English and that I would eventually teach and perhaps write
during the summers. From a young age I visualized
a path where dreams come true - through hard work and dedication and I ardently
followed it. As my formal education came
to a close and the sight of teaching was finally at my reach my mind began to
fail me. This terrible insecurity
bundled with immense fear attached itself like a mollusk to my being and
teaching became impossible. In the span
of a year I worked at three different high schools and I quit all of them. What I had prepared my entire life for, what
I had invested so much time and money - all those sacrifices pointless- my purpose
in life lost… I no longer controlled my mind. Then the voices began and I knew that I had
gone mad…
Night of yummy pizza...
With friends...
And more friends...
It took an entire
year to find the medications that were compatible with my brain chemistry. A
year of unemployment followed and a year full of deranged, acute suffering, but I pulled
through (smile). It’s been six years since my mental breakdown and six years since I have stepped inside a classroom. Whether I ever make it back to teaching or
not I have learned that my career cannot and will not be my purpose. We hear about sick codependent relationships,
but one’s career can also be equally damaging. It's dangerous to gain one’s self identity or self worth from what one does to earn a living because the moment one loses it- everything is lost. That’s why some
people in high level positions commit suicide if they get fired from their jobs because to them they are losing so much more than just their job.
Worship Music & Ispirational talk...
Full house: over 400 teens in attendance...
This year God
led me to help in the teen ministry at my parish. At first I felt like it wasn’t a right fit because
God was taking me out of my comfort zone and all these old fears were rising
inside me. Yet, God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of
power, love and self-control,
so I trusted His guidance. The anxiety
of working with teens hasn’t fully left me, but I know God is slowly healing me. Here, I had signed up to help teenagers only to realize
that God wanted to do so much more for me.
Adoration of Blessed Sacrament.
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