Meeting Ordinary Saints Along the Journey

When I was in High School, I lived in a two bedroom apartment with eighteen people in it, my family and my uncle’s family.  Both my father and my uncle were alcoholics and every weekend they would get so drunk that my uncle would beat my aunt and my dad would be too drunk to help stop the fight, so I had to help pull my uncle off of my aunt.  Not only were we poor, had members with addiction problems, but also witnessed domestic violence.  The chaos in my home affected me quite dramatically.  It brought a lot of shame, so much that I felt I needed to hide the imperfections of my home from everyone especially my classmates. I was ashamed of the apartment I lived at, the things that went inside and the people in it.  This shame prevented me from letting people get too near afraid they would see my life up close and reject me.  It also kept me from trying things that took me out of my comfort zone, like joining the basketball team because then protecting my family secrets would get too difficult. 

Though, I grew up with many bad role models, my mother was my shinning light.  She tried very hard to instill some normalcy within the chaos, she fought for me and encouraged me to do my best.  Research shows that difference between people who succeed and those who don’t is just one person, one person to believe and encourage and that’s what my mother did with me.  Though most of my cousins were getting involved in drinking and sex, my mother pushed me to do my best- she showed me that I could have more than the crappiness that surrounded me.  So many variables are in opposition to success for kids like myself.  The school dropout rates is twice the normal, risky behavior increases as does teen pregnancy and getting STDs. 

When I was teaching High School English, in my low classes I had mostly Latino students and they often jokingly said that they didn’t need to study because Mexican’s weren’t known to be studious.  They were receiving messages from their communities that they weren’t as smart as other ethnic groups, thus they didn’t even need to try.  Through this classroom sharing, I learned that the environment we grow up in matters, these kids throughout their lives heard that they weren’t smart and they believed it.  If parents aren’t around because they have to work two jobs and when they are around they abuse drugs and alcohol this has detrimental consequences on adolescents.  Consequences that lead children to want to escape by getting involved with the wrong people and engage in risky behaviors because they are trying to survive instead of thrive.  If parents are absent and if the family is weak then the streets can become their teachers.  In addition, witnessing violence, drug use and not having access to basic needs can foster a sense of hopelessness and depression.  When youths have increasing levels of depression and high levels of stress learning is not a priority.  Thus, instead of making better choices they repeat patterns that lead them to school dropout or other negative consequences.

It’s interesting to reflect on all the variables that young people face, especially those that begin with poverty against them because it is through this reflection that we can learn compassion and not judgment.  I went to a Juvenile Detention Center once and all the kids in there were just teens that had all the odds against them.  I talked to some and they all wished they had made better choices.  Unlike me, they lacked one person that believed in them to tell them they could have a different life and therefore we can’t judge them.  We must love them.

My mother loved me through the most difficult parts of my life in action and prayer.  She might have been poor in economics, but she has passed so much in wisdom.  She’s my Saint Monica who prayed without ceasing, without losing hope that one day I wouldn’t just succeed, but that I would most importantly find God.  I’ve been reading a book about the saints unaware that accompany us here on earth, and while my mother has her flaws she truly is the most amazing woman I know.  I have seen the way she has handled poverty, alcoholism, violence, loss… And she has done so triumphantly because of her strong faith.  She’s always laughing, the silliest person I know; but every day on schedule she retreats to her room to pray.  When we go to Mexico she packs so much stuff and keeps a sum of money to hand away to those she sees in need.  She has a patient, servant and charitable heart – her most frequent prayer is, “Lord, place someone in my path who needs my help.” 

The world is in crisis with so many ills it’s difficult to see the many joyful souls giving good witness to God, but not impossible.  A tiny light can still overcome darkness (smile).