Fields of Lavender

I love the scent of lavender, it happens to be my favorite.  In our house in Mexico, one of the things that we had to always be cautious about were scorpions.  I remember when I was a little girl I got stung by one and it was so unpleasant I still remember the horrific experience.  Lavender not only smells sublime, but functions as a pest repellant.  It’s common to keep little bushels of the flower in places of entry, like windowsills or in drawers and armoires to repel all types of pests including scorpions.  I once read that the reason pockets were invented was to hold lavender sachets as a type of traveling insect repellant in addition to warding off evil.  In Elizabethan times, the flower was considered to protect against evil many wore it for protection. According to culinary records of the time, it was also used in cooking many recipes, main dishes and desserts called for it as a crucial ingredient.  Shakespeare used the flower in “The Winter’s Tale” to express another common use (at the time) for the flower, which was romance.  The belief at the time was that lavender had the properties to help sexually, and was known as the fragrance of the wedding night.  It served as a type of aphrodisiac for men.  Some believe that Cinderella’s bouquet was composed of lavender flowers to express that she could keep a clean house and a happy husband. 

In ancient times, lavender was the herb that royalty enjoyed.  Some believe that the costly perfume which Mary used to wash the feet of Jesus was made of Lavender.  Legends express that Adam and Eve took some lavender with them when they were expelled from Eden.  Furthermore, some believe that Mother Mary put some lavender on the manger before placing Jesus in it as a form of protection.  This coincides with the belief that lavender wards off evil and also protects against infection. 

 My bear in the lovely original packaging.

Of course, it has long been used to relieve headaches, sooth tension, and calm nerves – even to help with insomnia. I used to suffer from horrible migraines and a little lavender under my pillow always helped.  My dream is to one day visit the fragrant lavender fields in South of France.  In the meantime, in my thrifting expeditions I came across this bear in the most exquisite box, it comes all the way from a lavender farm in Australia and he smells divine.  Bridestowe Farms came to existence when a gentleman migrated from France to Australia to begin a lavender farm.  Since the 1920’s the farm has been in business and currently sells these adorable bears.  My Bobbie bear is a heat pack to be used to help comfort and relieve stress.  I absolutely love it and holding it to my nose gives me so much pleasure.  When I found this bear it sent me in a lavender learning kick.  I wanted to learn more about my favorite fragrance and the details I discovered were all too interesting not to share.  What’s your favorite flower fragrance?  

Life Lately

My new year has been a compilation of activities at home.  I have been doing quite a bit of coloring, I didn't think that I would enjoy it as much as I do.  This coloring journal is absolutely perfect, after I color I can write my thoughts, It also has a prayer and a scripture reading on every page which makes it even more meaningful.  Colorful prayer is my new favorite form.  

I have also been reading, last year I didn't read a whole lot other than the material for my classes. This year I hope to read more books, especially from my personal library because I want to donate many of the ones that I only plan on reading once.  Read to declutter is my goal.  

I began with two biographies about two women whose lives were filled with a lot of suffering, one had a happy ending the other did not.  Jaycee Dugard the girl who was taken and found twenty-years later only two hours away from her home really caught my attention when the news stories poured in about her being found.  Browsing through the used book section at Savers I found a book written by her years after she was returned to her parents.  Her narrative is very powerful.  I totally recommend reading it.  I am still reading this Marilyn Monroe bio, but it's interesting to see that her life was not as glamorous as the pictures of her lead us to believe.

I am also half way through Mozart.  This book came with two audio CD's for listening to his music in some what of a chronological order of composition.  I've always enjoyed reading about the lives of others.  We all have a story to tell - one usually that shows our humanity, imperfections and suffering- these human stories make us relatable.  We can learn a lot from each other. 

Yesterday, after spending sometime at the library looking for Harry Potter novels, we took a short break in search of puddles for this kid to jump in. Coloring, books and nature have been the themes of this first month of 2017.  I quite like the way this year has begun. How is yours year going?  

Selena MAC Review

For Christmas my family gave me some spending money to buy the MAC Selena collection when it got restocked in January because when it initially released I only got the blush because everything else sold out before I could get my fingers on it (smile).  I choose not to buy the complete collection and only got what I really wanted: the three shades of lipstick, mascara and the blush.  I love what I bought.  Each item is named after one of Selena’s songs, my favorite is the “Dreaming of You” warm burgundy lipstick.  I also really like the blush it has her signature engraved in the powder and the shade is perfect on my skin tone.  MAC is also selling eyeliner and mascara in the collection.  However, a true fan will notice that these two items are not named after Selena’s songs because they are only packaged in the pretty purple casing.  These two items were the only two things that were not created specifically for the collection, but are products always available on the MAC line.  Yesterday, I had a presentation for RCIA and it became a great opportunity to test out my new make-up and I absolutely love it.  The collaboration between MAC and Selena will make any fan happy and the best part is that it’s still available on line for those that missed the first sale.

My MAC Selena purchases.

Beautiful packaging and details.

Lovely shades of lipstick.

 Lipstick jewelry to go with my make-up.  

The complete collection.

On March 31, 1995 I was getting a snack from the refrigerator.  I had just arrived from school and the news was playing on our television set, my cousin rushed over to where I was and said, “Hey that singer you like has been shot and killed. Selena.”  I ran to the TV and the news confirmed that Selena was dead and the shooter was locked in a truck with a gun to her head.  For months to come Spanish television seemed to be Selena television and I became obsessed.  I bought all the magazines, spent hours on the internet learning more about her, saw every special, saved enough money to buy every one of her CD’s.  She became my idol and during those years in which things at home were pretty bad -my confidant.  I would talk to her as if she could hear me, and I would ask her for intercession when things got really bad.  I remember feeling like she must be in heaven because all the reports made her this perfect human being.  I didn’t believe in God, but Selena she was a real person who walked this earth, full of kindness and joy- she must be in heaven able to help me.  Those high school years I talked to her often and asked for help me when I needed assistance.  I remember I was going to go to this party and I was so nervous because I was so shy.  As I walked to my friend’s house I said a prayer, “Selena, please be with me during this party I am terribly nervous, but if you are with me things will be ok.”  This became a routine prayer.  I had no God to believe in so she took His place.

 Techno-Cumbia blush.

"Dreaming of You" shade.

The reason I am sharing this is because we were all made for worship and when God is not in His rightful place we will find someone or something to adore.  Selena became my God for many years and I worshipped her.  She was twenty-three when she died and I fifteen so to me she was someone I could look up to.  I remember after I graduated High School I went to Texas to tour all the places special to her.  When I got to museum and saw the outfits she wore on display I remember feeling a bit disappointed because they looked so human.  I visited her house, her boutique her grave and every place that I explored she became less divine and more ordinary… I still love her music, her contagious personality and admire her beauty.  Now that I am older than she was when she died, I look at the videos of her and realize that she was just a young girl and not the all-knowing person a young me created her to be.  I still love her music, her style and remembering those years in which she helped a vulnerable me- even if they were a bit deranged makes me smile.  She taught me some great lessons, like being proud of being Mexican, not being ashamed to speak Spanish and to confront everything with a bright smile.     

Using all the products.

The Power of Prayer

 Last week I started a novena, my first of twenty-seventeen and it concluded yesterday.  Last week, I was browsing through Facebook feeds and a post announced the beginning of the Saint Anthony of Padua novena to end yesterday on his Feast Day.  I felt it was a godsend because I had a very particular intention that required special prayer.  After starting the novena I realized that it must have been an old post because Saint Anthony’s Feast Day is not until June.  Yet, I felt like this saint was asking me to pray with him so I continued my novena.  Yesterday, it concluded and yesterday was a day that was of crucial importance in deciding the fate of my family.  It all sounds very dramatic, but after years of fighting for a personal case we got our verdict and we won.  I can’t go into specifics because I have to protect and respect the privacy of my family.  Anyway, this week my mind has been so occupied with the trial, being a witness for my first time, but most importantly the verdict.  Yesterday, before we headed to court I pulled my family together, we lit a candle and together we prayed that justice would triumph and that God would have the final decision in the matter.

A few years ago I went to Our Lady of Angels Cathedral and I knelt before the image of Saint John Paul II and lit a candle asking for his intercession in this matter.  A miracle occurred after that which I can’t share without violating my family's trust.  That was the first big step in our case.  Then yesterday another miracle happened that continues to baffle me in regards to the power of prayer and intercession.  Sometimes, I can be so doubtful about matters of faith.  A priest told me it’s ok to have these doubts that everyone has them.  Then moments like this happen when things cannot be explained logically.  An old post led me to pray a novena which ended the day that my family faced a huge struggle.  This Novena gave me so much hope and strength.  So strong I felt that there was no room for anxiety, just this supernatural trust that justice would reign that God would make the final decision.  I’ve had many experiences where prayer has been an instrumental part, where God shows me how actively present He is in my life; even so, it still shocks me.  I still get dumbfounded by His omnipotence and His ability to listen to me.

While we drove home we all gave credit to God and His ability to make miracles happen.  We thanked His Mother and all the saints that we have prayed with throughout this time.  We reflected on “The Parable of the Persistent Widow” because we were that widow who wouldn’t give up and like her our persistence paid off (smile).  Yesterday, marks a new beginning where finally a cloud has passed, a heavy burden has been taken away and the future looks bright.  Everything in this world is imprinted with God’s presence, with His magnificence; but, a lot of the time I am still blind to this truth.  Nevertheless, at moments like these when things can only be explained by His involvement, by His penmanship my faith increases and those doubts that trouble me lose strength.  Do you have any experiences where prayer has been answered in miraculous ways?  I do (smile).  

Counting My Blessings

I never really talk about my job, mostly because it’s a job that pays the bills…  When I was younger, I thought that getting a college degree led to a career where I would wake up every morning excited to begin my day at work.  Now, I know that I am the one that chooses whether to smile when I begin my day or pout in disappointment.  This week am smiling because every January in the mortgage business things slow down due to the holidays and usually there are layoffs.  This January, due to the anticipation of home values going up, my company had mass layoffs where every department has felt the effects.  I am blessed that I made the cut, but was sadden to see many friends go.  This job was a blessing, after a year of not being able to work when I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder this job was an answer to a prayer.  I remember that I was really depressed because I was just getting by with my unemployment checks and had gone to multiple unfruitful interviews after I got the greenlight from my doctor.  Feeling so utterly defeated I scheduled an appointment to speak with a priest.  That conversation really changed my life in terms of the power of prayer. 

“Penny," he said, "you have been sending out your resume, going to interviews, following up on leads.  You have been doing your part, now let God do His.  I want you to go home and talk to God and ask Him in great detail what you want. Go crazy and even ask Him for the salary you think you need.  Keep doing your part and wait for His answer.  Also, to fight those feelings of unworthiness I want you to take the next volunteer opportunity and help people that are in more need than you.  Depression sometimes is about getting too focused on self, about what I need, what I lack, me, me, me.  Spend this time serving your neighbor.”

I talked to many priests before him, but this one spoke to me in a language I understood.  I went home that day with a plan.  First, I spoke with God. I still remember the exact prayer, “Lord, I need a job.  One with a kind supervisor who will be ok with me taking time to go to doctor appointments, one with a set schedule (routine is important for people with mental disabilities), where I make this amount and please let the job come before the end of the year.”  I continued to send resumes and became the activities coordinator for Saint Francis Senior Home while also volunteered feeding the homeless.  These two volunteer positions taught me that I was blessed because I had a home and people who love me.  With the homeless I saw hundreds of people in the streets hungry and desolate.  At the senior home I saw abandoned, forgotten women.  The big lesson was that even when I feel like I have nothing to give, God can use me to bless others.  In December, I received a call from my current company asking me to begin on December thirtieth, making the exact salary I had asked God for and with the kindest VP.  My prayer was answered to the nose.  I remember hanging up that phone with unbelief that my prayer had been answered so precisely.  Since, I have moved to different departments always for a better opportunity and my job has become a blessing.  I wake up maybe not excited to go to the office, but definitely blessed that I have a place where I can make a decent living (smile).    

What I Have Been Up To

This week I have been sick mostly in bed only making it out to go to work.  I have been fighting the flu and my body has been sleeping while it battles to recuperate.  This year one of my goals is to spend more time at home, but this is not what I had in mind (smile).  On A good note, I was able to read all of my Fawcett Crest Peanuts books which I can now donate and have a little less clutter in my house.  The comics are hilarious, they remind me of my childhood.  Take this one for example, Lucy refusing to hold Charlie Brown’s hand because she’s “not going to hold hands with any boy.”  I think mom taught me that lesson at a young age too in “what a decent girl does and does not do.”  

This strip would make a great opening to a chat on modesty (smile). Growing up we didn’t own a car so I found myself accompanying mom everywhere on the bus, this way of transportation is quite time consuming.  While we walked to the bus stop or waited for it to arrive there was a lot of time to talk and my mom has a weakness for conversation.  During these moments we would talk about all sorts of things, but what I remember most were her lessons on being a woman with great dignity.  I think she went over the holding hands lesson in a way a parent would teach a child about the dangers of drugs.  “If you let a man hold your hand, he will only try for more next time…”  When I was a kid I didn’t question her ideas when I was a teenager I laughed and told her holding hands wasn’t a bad thing; yet, she never changed her position on the matter.  As an adult I see the importance of her teachings.  It’s a matter of protecting myself and others from sin because drug addicts don’t begin with the hardest drugs first.

The other part of my rest was looking at this face!  He’s too funny and hates water unless it’s for drinking.  When it rains he gets all spooked because rain in California is a rarity.  Trying to get him to go outside to do his business is quite an ordeal and he will hold it until the last minute too, TMI!  There’s this dog that lives in my neighborhood his name is Hershey.  Hershey loves puddles.  He will splat, lay, walk, jump… getting soaked is his passion.  Dollar likes to play with Hershey, but when Hershey goes into puddles Dollar just stares at him from a safe distance.  Dollar's just a clean dog, hates getting dirty especially moist dirty… You should see him hide when it’s bath time.  He goes under the bed or kitchen table in hopes he will get out of showering!  He takes the rain with the same dislike.

Next week I will come with better content, I promise.              

The Adventures of Lud and Penny

A few days ago I got to hang out with my friend who has a blog down yonder, and I wrote about him before here. He lives in Arkansas and on his way to spend his New Year’s weekend in Catalina he asked if I would meet up and maybe give him a tour of my hometown.  He’s a friend I met on one of the Ave Maria Cruises and we have kept in touch speaking every few months- mostly about our mental disability struggles.  As someone who suffers from bipolar disorder it's really nice having someone to occasionally talk to, who struggles with similar issues.  Thus, our friendship has been like a long distance support group (smile)… Many people who meet me don’t realize that I am officially diagnosed and on treatment for bipolar disorder because for the most part I am really stable.  I have been at my job for many years, I have a very active social life, my mood swings are very subtle- and thanks to the meds the high and lows are for the most part contained.  Every couple of months I do have a week where I am so tired that I can only do the bare minimum and I find myself needing a lot of rest.  Yet, for the most part thanks to the medication, the support I get from everyone around me and my faith I lead a normal life.  My friend deals with a little more than I do, he’s a blend of different mental disabilities and his struggles are way bigger than mine.  So, he usually reaches out when he’s feeling overwhelmed with life.  I admire him because through all his challenges he’s living his life the best way he can.  Like me he has a job, family and friends who support him, and his faith.  He’s also leading a formal group on mental illness awareness designing quirky videos to raise awareness.  Our relationship sometimes works like sponsors in AA where we talk about our mental challenges and provide support. 

When he suggested we meet I felt a duty to be hospitable because we have become friends who every few months catch up and offer support.  I was a little reluctant to write this post because I don’t want to get misinterpreted our relationship is one of friendship.  Sometimes people who suffer from Asperger’s are not easily understood and too quickly rejected; growing up and being an outcast myself, I tend to be more open to people that require a little patience.  Thus, our relationship is one of friendship and support.

He asked me to give him a tour of my hometown, so after working half day I picked him at the airport and took him to our diocese, the Christ Cathedral.  He was so pleased with my selection since the grounds are extremely beautiful and like a good tourist he took many pictures while I was his guide.  I told him the story of how both the cathedral and I had a Catholic conversion.  At his suggestion we headed to Trader Sam’s Enchanted Tiki Bar in Downtown Disney where we had a fun drink and a snack.  Then, I took him home to meet my dog because he had requested if possible to meet my sidekick.  Dollar was happy to meet him, though because we were pressed on time, disappointed when we couldn’t walk him.  Then I took him to my favorite restaurant in Long Beach before dropping him off at the Catalina Ferry Terminal.

Hanging out with him as does talking to him always makes me feel so thankful, because we are two of the lucky ones.  Though are struggles are real we try our best to lead a good life.  I think all of us need people like that in our lives who show us (through example) that challenges must be confronted – that our weaknesses can make us people of great character, that God’s “power is made perfect in our weakness.”      

Gratitude List: Six for 2016

This is the time for New Year’s resolutions and maybe later in the month I will dedicate a post to that, today I want to look back at twenty-sixteen and just give thanks for the many blessings 2016 brought me.  In the news I keep hearing that this past year has been a really bad year, but to me personally I have so many reasons to shout praises of thanksgiving.  Before I think of making goals, I want to take the time to just rest in recognition of the many blessings that made up my year.  I chose six as my top six of 2016 simply because once I get started making a list, it can become overwhelmingly long…  

First, to close the year we had a scare in the family, my grandma had a fall which at first we all laughed because it was quite a comical story when she told us; but, a few days later she was hospitalized in pretty bad shape and we almost lost her.  She is now mostly on bed rest and needs the help of a respirator but that woman has spirit and refuses to let that damper her mood.  Dad calls her every other day and she’s always happy to chat and keeps telling us that she’s as good as gold.  Almost losing her really shook us up, especially dad and made our holidays that much more special because 2016 closed with all of us together.  She might be in her nineties, but she’s still such an integral part of our pack.

Dad retired!  This is really huge, because we were all concerned about how the transition would affect him, knowing that he’s a man that enjoys work.  After spending a full day at his job six days a week, he would still come home and garden, paint or find another fixer-upper activity to do at home.  So, I was afraid that he would get depressed going from so much activity to only free time; so far the change has been positive.  He wants to go out and have fun with his family, which is so rewarding getting to share so much more with him now.  We joke because he’s always in the mood to go out- even to the store! His new favorite phrase is, “Y ahora a dónde vamos?” It’s so awesome having a dad that’s so present.

Guadalajara Royal Wedding.  I have heard that single women find attending weddings a little sad even difficult, I am not of that mind set.  I love going to weddings!  For one I get to dress up and wear heels and sparkles…  This past year I got to do all that and in Mexico.  I even won the bouquet (though let’s not recall the embarrassing fall).  This wedding was special because I know both the bride and groom and have great affection for both.  They have such a romantic story and are proof that prayer and blind faith in God make the best unions!

My birthday.  This year it was filled with so many special surprises, I really wasn’t expecting much on the actual day since I had the most amazing pre-celebration.  The pre-celebration included my parents, family, friends, nature, animals it was so special.  Then God decides to continue the shower of gifts on the actual day – and I felt so completely loved and thankful for everyone who I get to share my life with. 

Women’s Silent Retreat.  I was really skeptical about going on this retreat because it was a bit pricy, but after getting a half off gift I was able to go.  It surpassed my expectations and I think this retreat might be a yearly adventure.  Every year I go on a different weekend retreat, but as I am aging out of the young adult age range I have found this retreat to be a godsend.  The location is beautiful, the silence so welcomed and the organization is perfect.  Saving my pennies for this years!

Dollar, I never imagined I could love an animal as I do my sweet, sweet pup.  He turned lucky thirteen this year and still has the energy and good looks of a puppy.  I try not to think that dogs’ lifespans are not as long as humans because I want to enjoy my love without worry of losing him.  He makes me so utterly happy from the moment I wake up, to the moment I walk through the door after a long day of work, to the moment he pushes me off the bed in his desire to be closer to me! When I think of him I feel like Goldilocks who found the one just right for me, he’s perfection.  God truly radiates His magnificence to me in my furry baby. WOW, just wow!

RCIA Ministry, I have found a niche where serving the Lord doesn’t feel like service, but rather a gift given to me by my Heavenly Father.  Getting to share my faith with adults as I help them prepared to receive their sacraments is such a special journey. Getting to do it in Spanish and alongside my best friends is heaven.  As I watch the transformation in my students God fuels my faith and my desire for holiness increases.  I really never imagined that a promised I made my brother on his dying bed would lead me in the greatest adventure. 

There’s a correlation between a thankful spirit and happiness.  People who see the world with a “thank you God” attitude are really happier- studies show this!  Though it takes a little self-control to say thank you when one would rather complain, learning to be agradecida (thankful) impacts your entire look on life.  Just look at my grandma who literally took a fall, but did so with laughter and optimism (smile). What are you thankful for about 2016?  

2017 Countdown Party

My brother in heaven used to be my sidekick, he was my Robin to my Batman or Pinky to my Brain, or Watson to my Sherlock… Or perhaps more appropriately Ethel to my Lucy because our best moments would always begin with one of my crazy ideas that together we would see to fruition.  One of our best moments was putting up lights for Christmas.  During those years I think our home could be seen from outer space because if I suggested making a tree out of lights on our roof, he would suggest also adding a Santa entering the chimney.  When he passed, for years I felt like half of me was missing because I had no one to join me in creative mischief (my other siblings being way more sensible)… Fast forward to New Year’s Eve 2016, when I realized that God had sent me a new sidekick one who loves getting into all kinds of trouble.  He might be the Lone Ranger to my Tonto! (SMILE GRANDE)  Don’t get me wrong my family tries to play along with the things I suggest, and I love them for it.  This New Year’s Eve when I suggested having a countdown party they were all game- even when at the last minute I added “pajama party”; but, by ten all the adults were ready for bed. Except, for one charismatic ten-year-old who said no to bed until the last bag was opened.  That level of commitment is what I had been missing and on the last day of 2016 I realized I had found. Yep, I have found my Clyde to my Bonnie (SMILE).

We went to the 5PM Mass and then had a pozole dinner at 6PM before we changed into pj's for our countdown party. Dad had the flu so he was the first to go to bed.  At seven the rest of us played bingo.  It was a little bit of gambling because we did bet a quarter a game (yikes).

 At 8PM I provided a three film selection, my nephew decided on "Storks" and in Spanish we watched the cartoon. There was popcorn and treats, so it was the full movie experience.   

At 930PM, after the film ended we posed for pictures with NYE props.  I created a background for our pictures and they turned out super cool.  My mom couldn't stop laughing and the rest of the gang would have no part since they lack silly bones (LOL). 

At 10PM everyone announced that they were going to bed, what party poopers.  

This is when my nephew said he was staying up until midnight with his loca auntie. So, we painted and then played a truth or dare game of Jenga.       

At 11PM we had a silly string fight, my nephew won. Then we got our noise makers and confetti poppers ready for the countdown on TV.   

Happy 2017! At 12AM with kisses and apple cider we toasted to the New Year.  It was the first time my nephew got to drink out of a wine glass so he felt quite grown up.  But to remind me that he's really just a kid, he said it was time to eat the gingerbread house he made earlier in the week.

My dog also made it to midnight, but I could see the relief as we headed to bed.  I had the best time.  This might be a new tradition in the making for this dynamic duo.  How was your celebration?