Gratitude Improved The Quality of My Life

YA Thanksgiving Potluck

In my family of four siblings not only was I the last to be born I am also seven years apart from my youngest brother.  Thus, I became a spoiled, rotten, little girl who grew up to be a spoiled, rotten, young woman.  My siblings all treated me like a porcelain doll in matters of care, but like the queen in giving me everything that I wanted.  My dad too, lavished me with attention and material gifts and my mom soon surrendered the reign and joined in the spoiling of the babe of the house.  This treatment made me grow up with an entitled spirit, an impatient attitude and difficult to please personality.  I was never happy nor satisfied- I always wanted more.  My point-of-view was always in getting more and never in being grateful for the gifts received.  As a child, I always got what I wanted simply for being the baby.  Yet, no matter how much I was given it was never enough- I had learned to be greedy.  This greed brought many bad habits that would rob me of my peace and leave me unhappy...  As we near Thanksgiving Day, I was recalling how Jesus taught me to be grateful and how practicing thankfulness has freed from some evil spirits.  

We shared our faith, ate, played games and socialized

Critical & Jealous Spirit:  Sometimes life looks greener on the other side.  I would look at the lives of other women who had the status, the looks, the nice things, the boyfriend, the health… (Without any of the baggage that I carried) and I would envy their lives.  Why couldn’t I be like them or why couldn’t my life be as exciting as theirs?  I would get lost thinking how I would love to be anyone but me and sometimes I would get really jealous.  This jealousy made it hard for me to build friendships with other women who were prettier, smarter, just “more” than me.  It also made me become a perfectionist and this perfectionism turned me into a judge.  And I would criticize people for every flaw and error- including myself. 

Had a great night with my girls!

Sad Spirit:  Often times I would feel really depressed just comparing myself to others and becoming aware of what I lacked.  This drove me to work really hard for worldly things like status, prestige and possessions.  Yet, the more I moved up in the world and the more stuff I collected - didn’t make me happier.  I used to have this reoccurring thought- “if I only get this one more thing or I finish this one more college title” then I will be happy.  However, goals would be achieved and I still had no satisfaction – there was a new object I needed, a new title to finally gain happiness…  It seemed like happiness was always a step ahead of me and I was always behind in a puddle of critical depression.

I cooked and prayed that it turned out good- God heard my prayers and made it yummy!

Then one day, God finally got my attention and stopped this wild-goose chase.  Slowly He transformed my eyesight – I was blind and then I saw.  I saw that I had so much stuff, but more importantly I was loved by all the people in my life – but the people who gave me love were just instruments or vessels that transmitted His love for me.  He loved me unconditionally without reason- He just simply did.  He taught me to look at the mirror and see my arms and how they could be used to caress and hug others, I saw my feet and saw how I could walk to do good deeds, I saw my lips and learned how to say loving things that would encourage others…  I saw every part of my being fully functioning and I saw that God needed my arms, feet, lips my whole being so others could see Him.  I wasn’t perfect by world standards, but I was perfect for His mission- I was perfect for Him.  Slowly, as I began to use myself and my life to help others I began to experience peace and joy- and a feeling of constant contentment.  I was thankful for my body, for my mind, for my heart- for all of me because God loves me and created me perfectly in His image.  Slowly, I no longer looked at others with envy or criticism; I just tried to love them because I finally saw that without Jesus everything is meaningless.  I had found the treasure of treasures- and He set me free to love.  In learning the ways of love I learned that my parents and siblings all chose to love me and all the affection and gifts given to me were demonstrations of their love- and I needed to value love, be thankful for it not take it for granted.  I learned that being a saint is a byproduct of loving God- it’s never a goal.  So this Thanksgiving I want to thank God for giving me new eyesight and showing me how to love and how to be thankful.  I just want God to love you through me (smile).  “Let them thank the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for mankind…”