Have You Prayed Today?

It was my birthday on Monday, and I took the day off from work to do simple things that I love to do, but sometimes lack the time.  I began my morning by taking my dog to the dog park, where I watched him happily socialise with other pups.  Then he and I took an hour walk around the park enjoying the trees, the breeze, the sky… God.  I talked to God all along the journey, sometimes tears spilled from my eyes cleansing my soul.  Then I dropped off my dog at home and picked up my prayer bag and headed to adoration.  I love the inside of churches, I get the same pleasure as if I were sitting in the middle of the forest in between large trees, fields of high grass and rays of sunshine.  I sat on the pew as I would on an overturned log and began to just enjoy God in the Blessed Sacrament.  Usually as the skeptic that I am I begin with, “Are you really here my God?” Then I wait and contemplate His Body so tangible and lovely.  On Monday I had time to spare, so I took out my prayer book from my bag and began to pray a type of prayer one prays in front of the Blessed Sacrament that takes the form of a conversation.  God begins the chat, telling me how much He has waited to spend this moment with me and He guides our talk.  There’s portions where I read His words and where I answer His questions silently.  There in the parish forest we danced in words and build relationship.  He asks me about my family, friends, work, church community, about my worries, hurts, and desires. He comforts me when I cry and tell Him that parts of me are made of glass and that now I understand the song, “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.”  Then He tells me to trust Him with my worries, with my fears to want His will more than anything.  I tell Him that I can’t that I hurt, then He asks me to list my blessings and I take out my journal and begin to write down all of the things that He has given me those people and things that give me so much joy and so much peace.  I write about my dad, and how this birthday morning I woke up to receive the first birthday card I have ever gotten from him.  I tell God, how my dad is illiterate (even though He knows) and how dad dictated the short message to mom who wrote it down for me and how when I read it I sobbed.  I still remember the sentenced that broke me, “I don’t think you will ever know how much I love you (my dad rarely says it) and how I desire you to be happy.”  And how that sentenced reminded me of God’s “agape” love.  My dad’s words gave me courage, I tell God.  I continue writing all of my blessings and the longer the list gets the heavy cloud begins to lift and the rays of sun penetrate through and reach my soul.  I finish the list, put my journal away and I feel a strong desire to open my prayer book and pray one more prayer- I randomly open the book and it falls to a prayer that I completely needed. A very specific prayer.  It’s only two sentences long and in those two sentences I know that God has heard my very personal prayers, comforted by His words (which like Mary I will privately hold in my heart) I leave my log, and head out into the clear sky smiling.

God is real and He wants us to have a relationship with Him.  He wants us to come to Him and to speak with Him constantly because that’s how our bond matures, that’s how trust is established and how love grows.  We cannot love that which we do not know, that’s why prayer is essential in our lives.  Slowly as I get to know God more my faith in Him grows.  I am more open with Him, I feel safe and at peace.  This security builds a strong foundation and no matter how my faith gets tested I remain firm in Him.  One of my favorite verses in the Bible is, “remain in Me and I will remain in you.”  Our prayer life needs to be living- because just like in our earthly relationships dialogue helps us build trust and security, it allows us to get to know each other better, and keep peace while growing in love… So does it inspire and strengthen our bond with a God that is always making the first move, a God who constantly reaches out, a God who waits for us patiently and whose mercy is bigger than His justice.  When we have a strong connection with God through prayer we begin to imitate Him more easily and dying to self becomes a joyful, liberating process.