Finding Our Identity in Christ

Lately I have been having trouble keeping up with writing three times a week- I started school again, a ten week bible study series, teach RCIA half day on Sunday’s, plus making time for friends and family in addition for the past two months I have been working longer hours to keep up with my work volume- so I am exhausted! I have been thinking that if I only write once a week, my articles will hopefully improve and I will be able to get more creative with my photos and graphics.  Thus, this week is my last week writing three times, going forward I am going to publish once (maybe twice as the holidays approach) a week and see if this change produces the positive effects I think it will.  Writing has always been a passion of mine, to put word to paper is a process that detangles and orders my thoughts, that gives me courage, leads me to solutions, fills me with peace and recently has helped organized my faith.  Putting order to my spiritual beliefs in this public forum has allowed my relationship with God to mature and my faith to grow.  What began as a shy-a-bit-all-over the place personal testimony has turned into what Simba experienced when he saw his reflection in the river, he realized that he was worthy of becoming the Lion King.  I too have seen my reflection in these past three-hundred plus posts and I like what I see looking back (smile).  I am a woman with a powerful story who is unconditionally and perfectly loved by God and His love allows me to look at my reflection and like Simba know that I am destined for great things (priest, prophet and queen).  When we discover and most importantly KNOW that God loves us we are freed to love ourselves (to do otherwise is to sin against God) and these short, imperfect posts have allowed me to see the spirit of God working in me and changing me daily more into His image. 

This will shock you, but I have never wanted to be a saint, the notion baffles me- I always thought that I didn’t have it in me.  It’s hard for me to think of the great men and women we venerate as saints doing all the great things they did to gain a title.  I think my problem is with the “saint title” because I just don’t see Saint Francis or Saint Claire doing all the wonderful, selfless things they did with a desire to gain status.  All their actions were products of godly love and of stripping themselves to make more room for God.  I still have difficulty thinking of my personal sanctification, but I do want more of God in me and holiness is just that God in me (smile).  Maybe it’s also a matter of my pride thinking that I am too unworthy to become a saint? Perhaps, it takes a certain level of humility (that I still lack) to admit that I want to be saint.  I think it also goes back to the effects of reading some of the writings of Nietzsche in which he makes powerful arguments concerning our human desire for titles and status.  In society we are taught to aim for power, money and status and I think my problem with sainthood is that sometimes I feel like people use it as a form of pride.  For example, I once heard a devout Catholic friend admit that a guy wouldn’t date her because she was too holy and she truly believed she was- and that scares me!  I knew her well and I knew her shortcomings, pride was one of them.  I am a sinner (sometimes I have my moments of holiness) but for the most part I come short.  God wants us to have a healthy self-image, to see ourselves as He does.  His love gives us the courage to accept ourselves today, but it also shows us what we can become.  The becoming is not a matter of status, but a process that forms our identity in Christ.  Holiness should set us apart for God, but still keep us connected to others because the world needs holy people in the world.  There’s not a saint who became one on his own or who claimed to be one.  It’s sort of like claiming humility, the moment we announce that we are humble we are really expressing our pride.  I guess, sainthood is something that happens quietly.