Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Try, Try Again

Yesterday, was my doggies twelve birthday!  I’ve had him since he was two months old and he truly has blessed my life and taught me so many things.  I often think of the biblical passage of the faith of the Canaanite woman in the gospels when I am having a meal and my little dog orbits beneath the table picking up crumbs that fall to the floor.  If you recall the Canaanite woman comes to Jesus begging him to heal her daughter, and Jesus replies in a very harsh way, “It’s not fair to throw the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.”  The woman is clearly not one of Jesus’ people, yet she knows him and believes in his healing power as much as in his kindness, so she doesn’t give up.  I love her feisty response, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat crumbs that fall from their master's table.”  Jesus attributes the healing of the Canaanite woman’s daughter to her great faith and uses her example of faith to teach his disciples.  It’s such a great narrative- one of my favorite biblical passages. 
When I sit at the table to eat and my little dog looks up with his beautiful, brown eyes I often meditate in silence on the many biblical narratives that speak of God’s pleasure in a persevering spirit.  In secular life we have many people that agree that success has little to do with talent and much to do with persistence.  Yet, it takes courage to saddle the horse and try again- especially after many failed attempts.  It’s no secret that the more rejection and failure the harder it is to continue forward.  For those of you who think I always have it together, on Sunday, I went to church with a crushed spirit.  I was feeling so downcast that as the service began tears started spilling from my eyes.  I hadn’t cried during the Eucharist in years so the whole public meltdown really freaked me out and I wanted to run out of the parish in search of privacy.  Yet, I didn’t want to call attention to myself so I grew roots and remained in the pew covering my face with my hair.  Slowly I regained my composure and by the second reading I had controlled the tears and by the end of the service I was laughing because Father told us a funny joke after the blessing (smile).

I allowed many things to disturb my peace this weekend and by the end of Sunday after turning things in my head all weekend I made a vow to give up on a friendship because I felt unappreciated and hurt.  Speaking with my sister only validated the negative feelings and I came to the conclusion that it was best to move on and let go.  Each of us is a treasure in the eyes of God and He tells us to see one another in the same way.  Thus, as Christians our expectations of how people treat us needs to be high (we must also give that same level of treatment)… Yet, in relationships with others God tells us to forgive often and live in harmony.  Sounds simple, but it’s hard and requires constant work.  All relationships (romantic or not) require persevering because each time misunderstandings or hurt feelings happen more growth occurs if one perseveres.  The bond between the two also has the opportunity to grow stronger.  Nonetheless, persevering also requires trying different approaches until you find the one that helps you succeed…  

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