If Women Understood Men

My dog has this need to be the center of attention! Smile. 

I changed the name of my blog soon after I started blogging to “In My Shoes” because I literally love shoes, but more importantly because these writings are my personal perspective of life and I think in order to build solid relationships with others we need to have an empathetic soul.  So, through these posts I am inviting you to come into my life and for a moment step into my shoes.  When we learn to see life through the eyes of others we become more compassionate and better lovers- for we are able to gain a deeper understanding of each other and see how we can address the needs of others.  Empathy requires a voyage away from self and into the lives of others.  On an episode of “Oprah,” I saw a story about a lady who bought a pair of shoes that Oprah had worn and when the lady was feeling really depressed she would stand in Oprah’s shoes until one day she found the strength to stand on her own.  Sometimes other people’s lives can motivate us, inspire us and give us the strength we are lacking.  I remember after my mental break down I attended a support group and hearing others’ similar struggles and seeing people at various areas of recovery gave me hope.  I wasn’t alone in my insanity, there were others who suffered and were worse than I and others who had found a way to lead successful lives- both encouraged me so much.  God’s genius is evident in creating us to live in unity and community supporting one another because once in a while it’s great to know that I am not alone that others share my struggles.    

I once read that the best quality when looking for a spouse is compassion.  Many times we are looking for someone to understand and truly “get us” and we forget that God asks us to practice what we preach.  As a Catholic, single woman with many friends who share the same status we often share the frustrations of our vocation especially if we desire marriage and a family, but rarely do we step into the shoes of the Catholic, male role and try to truly understand their struggles.  Many times we accuse them of being too weak and unclear in their pursuing, get impatient because they take too long or criticize their attempts to reach us- I know that I have done that many times; BUT, today I want to try to increase our compassion towards them. I am sharing this post that I found on a friend’s Facebook wall whose writer Jess Browne gives a lot to ponder and hopefully learn.

If Women Understood Men

"If Women Understood…

We also have fears but don’t have the permission to show it.
There's excitement in the sound of an engine or a goal.
We value more the excess of smiles than three less pounds.
Our role to be the breadwinner of our family can be overwhelming.
What it’s like to be expected to be brave, powerful and successful all the time.
How bothersome comparisons with the “ex” are.
Our need for the hugs that we don’t always know how to ask for.
How difficult it is to understand lessons that were never taught.
How hard it is to hold back tears that we are ashamed to shed.
The power you have over us.
We also spend sleepless nights.
We need silence as you need to talk.
We don’t walk through life thinking of how to hurt you.
We are weaker than our height and muscles say.
That to bring the best or worst of us is in your hands.
We think and reason differently.
We feel similarly.
We express and show our feelings as best we can or as we were taught. 

If women understand this, if they could look beyond some oversights, if they realize that for us the biggest proof of our love is having chosen her, if women lower their guard, save their reproaches, if they increase their smiles, encouragement and playfulness and if you let us do things without too much of a sense of obligation or too high of expectations you will understand that you are what gives meaning to our lives… As women, wives, girlfriends, mothers, daughters, sisters or friends.”

(translated from Spanish)