Making Catholic Friendships

Father recommended a new author (Richard Rohr, OFM) he said that it was one of his favorite authors and after reading the first chapters of my introductory book I think Rohr might become a favorite of mine too.  As I was meditating on writing about Catholic friendships I came across a quote that I felt would get this post started, “Ask the Lord for companions (sometimes Jesus alone!) who will walk the highway of remembering with you, filling valleys and leveling mountains and hills, making the winding ways straight and the rough ways smooth.  Then humankind shall see the salvation of God.”  We all need Catholic friendships to inspire, motivate and encourage us in our faith.  God created us to live in community- your weaknesses are usually someone else’s strengths and together we form one perfect body.  I can quote Romans chapter twelve verses 3 through 8; each of us has a body with many members that serve a different function but together we create one body.  In other words form community- make friends and help each other out by using your strengths and learning from others to work on your weaknesses.  Good Christian friendships make God happy and are a testimony of His love.  But how do you make these bonds?     

• Pray about it- I remember the first time I went on a Catholic Singles Cruise on my own.  That first day I went out into the balcony and I prayed that God would send me a friend to spend the cruise with and sure enough after adoration I met two of my now really good friends.  After the cruise we became friends on Facebook and began to get to know each other really well. Since, we have cruised more times together and we pray continuous novenas for one another. Thanks to social media we have been able to cultivate a really warm, close friendship.
  

•  Be friendly first-  I was talking to God one day about how I liked this man, but the man seemed too shy to talk to me so I was like God please make him come over and talk to me and I heard God’s voice in my inner most being say, “why don’t you go over and say hi first.”  Sometimes we want everything to be done for us, but God wants us to get out there and try too.  Though this example is about talking to a man, I think it applies to making friends too, don’t wait around for someone to approach you.  If you see a person you find interesting and think would make a good friend go up and say hi.
  

• Attend Young Adult Functions- I usually go to young adult events because I want to learn more about my faith.  If I find a topic that’s interesting to me I sign-up for the event.  I am lucky that I live in area where my diocese and surrounding parishes offer a lot of really cool functions.  Most of the time I invite a friend to come along with me and this really helps our friendship grow because usually the topics inspire great conversation.  When no one is available to go with me and if I find the topic really interesting I venture out on my own.
  

•  Do Service Opportunities- I used to coordinate events at a senior home for my young adult group.  For over a couple years once a month I would put together a two hour visit for over forty seniors.  This helped me meet a lot of young people from my parish who had an interest in God and in serving Him.  I also helped a grass-roots effort feed the homeless in Santa Ana.  Every other Saturday a group of us met in an area where a lot of homeless people gather and served them a meal.  
  

• Join a Group- When I returned to the Catholic Church I joined a young adult association (Youth for Christ).  Here I met some of my best Catholic friends.  The group met twice a week, we organized retreats, served our home parish and participated in many social and volunteer gigs together.  We were also involved in the prayer ministry within the group.  Working and praying together for God really fortified our friendships. There’s a lot of young adult groups like Youth for Chirst (Cursillo, the Search for Christ…) talk to someone in your parish about what groups are available in your diocese.   
  

• Join a small prayer group- During Advent and Lent I host a prayer group for about six people.  Once a week we dive into the upcoming Sunday readings and then share our thoughts.  This really helps build strong relationships quickly because we skip through the shallow talk and dive into really intimate conversations.  Though my church stopped offering these groups my little group continues to meet seasonally.  I also have a couple private prayer groups on Facebook that help keep us in contact when our schedules get too busy.  
  

• Maintain the Friendships- This is crucial!  If you get through making friends keeping them is your next challenge.  I try to see my friends often because I don’t like talking on the phone.  I told you my top love language is quality time so I try to spend time with everyone I love often.  Remember important dates, whether it be a birthday, a job interview or something important your friend shares and reach out to them.  Pray together and for them too. 

Am blessed with a lot of wonderful Catholic friendships.  I found my secret is more on me trying to be a good friend than looking for a good friend.  When you first become what you want people just flock to you.