As I endeavor in my walk towards heaven I continuously check
my spiritual reflection hoping to see more of Jesus and less of me. When I was a defensive agnostic there where
two types of Catholics that totally disgusted me: the ignorant and the fanatic. Even now, as a revert, I have very little patience
for these two distortions of Catholicism I would even venture to say that they
sadden me deeply. Peter Kreeft proposed
that since the majority of the American population is Christian, Christians are
not really challenged to know their faith.
No one is really questioning why they believe what they believe. However, agnostics or atheist being the
minority have to argue their position. Thus, they usually do extensive
research and learn about their spiritual stand to properly defend it. As a former agnostic I predominantly studied Nietzsche
and his stand against God and Christianity.
It was funny then that all I had to do was quote the German philosopher
and ignorant Christians would stumble for words. Now, due to my alliance to God apologetics is my favorite
area of study.
Maybe Kreeft is right that due to Christianity still being
the great public majority it has made people lazy in learning about God. It just baffles me that people are comfortable saying they believe in God but have no clue or desire to learn more
about what they are proclaiming. It
shames me that because of their ignorance Christ is reduce to an almost fictional
character. There’s a great need in our church to become learned people. When I
promised my brother on his dying bed that I would give God a chance- I really took
it to heart. I started asking questions
- the scientific, intellectual type that had driven me away from God. If I was to believe in life after death I
needed to understand it – to truly believe in God I needed to understand this
whole cosmic plan according to Him and then form my decision. I can’t imagine surviving my great loss if I
had just sent my brother to some imaginative heaven, I wouldn’t be able to exist
with that fantasy. Maybe those that
choose ignorance have not been confronted with death yet – maybe they haven’t confronted
a pain so deep it shatters. Or maybe their spirits are simpler than mine and
they can live not knowing?
Then there’s the fanatics, the ones that think they know
Jesus so well that they feel they have the power to convert, judge and condemn. Excruciating pain brought me to the feet of
God and while I believe that He has power to heal my mind- I know that He also
gave us doctors and medicine to aid us in our ailments. These fanatics told me that with enough
prayer I wouldn’t need medication any more (for my Bipolar Disorder).
In their efforts to help they inflicted more pain when they told me that
I needed to sell my house because a bad spirit was definitely present there, or
when they said that more prayer would have kept my brother from dying, or when they called
my mother and asked her to pray more because in a dream my recently deceased brother
had contacted them asking for prayer because he was in a horrible
place. Can you imagine hearing that your
child is suffering after dying from Schizophrenia? It took a lot of effort to help my mother
overcome those lies.
"Sir, Open the door for us."
But He will answer, "I don't know you or where you come from."
Then you will say, "We ate and drank with You, and You taught in our streets."
But He will reply, "I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me..."
"Who spoke the earth and sky to form
Who sets the sun and calls the dawn
Who breathed me out of dust to life...
Who loved me through my rebel way...
The King of Glory Jesus Christ"
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