Little by Little

I read that because dogs only have short years to live they don’t squander their time – utilizing their days to give love, “because time is limited, there is no time to be unhappy.”  To further that thought, I believe that dogs don’t waste days hiding how they feel.  Every day when I arrive home Dollar acts like it’s the best day of his life – meeting me at the door, tail dancing in the air.  He follows me while I place my things down and if I don’t stop to acknowledge him with a warm caress he lets out a dramatic cry, which always makes me laugh.  When I am home he follows me like a second shadow resting only when I sit. He’s always aware of where I am at, ready to come to my assistance too innocent to let pride get in the way of him displaying his love and admiration.  I envy that he can so easily wear his heart on his sleeve without fear of rejection, it’s as if in his world rejection has no meaning, but maybe it’s because he’s always belonged to a loving a family.  Am sure animals that are abused eventually shut down, just like humans who have been hurt build walls to protect themselves.

I have been reading CS Lewis’ The Problem of Pain, in it he makes this assertion that people do not lack self-love.  For example, if my tooth is hurting I go to the dentist to correct the problem- if I didn’t love myself I would not address the pain choosing to suffer instead.  It is so that my life is full of decisions that keep me from hurt.  From a young age we all learn to keep safe- while in our youth the pain we protect ourselves is mostly physical (scraped knees, electrocution, burns, etc.) as we grow up we realize that the emotional and psychological ails, hurt just as much if not more.  With each rejection I add a brick to my wall of defenses and before I know it I am really good at not showing my emotions.  In my life I have experienced all types of pain, the type of hurt that leave scars so deep that without God I don’t think I would have been able to heal - some wounds are still in the process of healing.  For many years I was afraid to show my feelings because I felt like I wouldn’t be able to cope with any more rejection.  I still personalize rejection- believing the first thoughts that come when I have been refused: “you’re not good enough, something is wrong with you, you will never find happiness…” 

Sometimes I still find myself believing those negative emotions because I can be quite sensitive, but just like my little wolf whimpers when I ignore him - I "sigh" and God comes to my assistance.  When I am experiencing self-doubt and anxiety I run to God- sometimes I go to Chapel and talk to him, other times I go out into nature and remind myself that God controls bigger things so he can more than handle my silly problems and if I really need to quiet my mind I pick up a faith book to push the negative feelings out with Truth: “I am enough, nothing is wrong with me and I am for the most part happy…”  I’ve never been good at showing my affection to people of the opposite sex (I am a survivor of sexual molestation), but God is teaching me that not all men are evil and that I need to let my guard down if I want someone to come thru, sometimes the urge to protect myself overpowers my desire to let others in, but God reminds me “poco a poco” after all Rome wasn’t built in a day (smile).       

Love Delights in the Beloved

When you care about someone even watching him sleep is satisfying- just knowing he exists and is part of your life makes one smile.  I came to this epiphany as I watched my little wolf laying at my feet lost in dream.  In life, many times we are judged by our performance, a teacher once told me that no one likes to hear about failures, in literature as in film the stories that are most memorable involve the hero’s journey, a plight of action and adventure...  Often times I feel like I am the sum of my success; but, when I am home with the ones that love me most I know that in love performance doesn’t exist.  God gave us the capacity to love, He made this beautiful emotion to connect us with one another and with Him.  Yet, love is a choice that popularly gets hidden in romanticism as a miraculous feeling that suddenly appears.  When I was young I used to think that my parents loved me because they had to, but as I grew up and met people from broken families I began to see that my parents love was a choice both made to love me unconditionally- even during moments when I was difficult and challenging to love.  I also used to think that love was flowers and chocolates and poems- all things sweet- a definition that only reached the superficial lining of this beautiful gift.

In my parents’ relationship, I didn’t see a whole lot of romantic expressions, thus my role models of love came from fiction.  I made it a study watching every romantic comedy, reading all the romantic classical novels and I craved to have a Romeo and Juliet (without the dying) kind of love - one that was always exciting, dramatic and so full of passion, even if it was short-lived.  I was looking for a unicorn in matters of love, not even a magical expression – but a love that didn’t penetrate past the surface.  As soon as there was a feeling of normalcy of ordinary- it was no longer the ideal.  Looking at love stories in popular culture and how they usually only get told until the object of their affections is caught, some even make it to the wedding, but few speak of what comes after- I come to realize that to many - love is just the chase and the imaginative happily ever after.  When in reality love hurts, it aches, it breaks and throws you down in pits of the most painful suffering because to love is to open ourselves to discomfort and to hurt. I saw this type of love in my home, one that caused a lot of pain and I wanted to run away from it as soon as I was of age to do so.  However in my journey, I met a woman that told me that if I ran away from my family I would also be running from the source of my highest happiness because though love can throw you into the depths of despair love also lifts you to paradise.  Just look at Jesus, he came down from heaven and died for us so that we would be with him in paradise.  Our love stories, thus must emulate his, they should be unafraid of suffering, of sacrifice - but also have merriment as he enjoyed his friends when he walked this earth.

As I watched my little wolf sleep, looking at his tummy as it inflated and deflated, felt his breath on my skin - I wondered if God gets such delight in watching His creation, even when we repose.  Without doubt I know He does because when love is present there’s no need for performance, love dances simply because the beloved exists (smile).  True love seeks the beloved even when it hurts, even when we must travel in an unpaved road and suffer trampling in the unknown path because just being in His presence is enough -because hurt when shared is endurable.  The most intimate relationships require no action, no words just presence.  I think of the saints who could remain in God for long periods of time in silence, just happy to be in His company and I realize that when one reaches that level in a relationship one begins to understand love as a verb, but a verb where the action is simply union.  Togetherness in quiet, just joyful to exist together in one point in time, to look at the world (both the happy and the sad) and know that we have a partner in crime to face whatever peril will come.  Knowing our weak nature God gave us friends along the way to encourage and teach us about love- even a little yellow mutt whose fleeting years have been a university in unconditional love.  A little fur ball who's shown me that sometimes delighting in the beloved is the most beautiful form of love.  Animals have always spoken such deep truths to me and when I think of love now I think of finding a person who can be quiet with me- quite boring as opposed to the romantic notions that a young me craved for.  In the quiet so much is spoken, so much is revealed, so much healed...

My Favorite Franciscan Feast Days

This is one of my favorite weeks of the year because of the domino feast days: archangels, Saint Therese of Lisieux, guardian angels, Transitus and today Saint Francis of Assisi!  Every feast brings with it such beautiful traditions that invite us to look beyond the material world.  Two weeks after my brother died I got my home blessed, a priest came to the house and performed a blessing ritual during the ceremony he said something that I have since carried, “Many of us think that this home I am blessing is just that my home- but this is just a house on your way to your forever home in heaven.  Don’t make the error of living like this world is it, always remember that we are just passing by – visitors on our way to eternity.”  Coming from poverty, from living sardine style in a two bedroom apartment with eighteen other people- my dream was always to own a house.  When we moved into our house it was one of the happiest days of my life, having my own bedroom, a yard to read my books, enough space to spread my arms and just relax - felt like heaven on earth.  It was my house, a home I was no longer ashamed of full of people that made me the most happy.  We had achieved a great dream and now it was time to decorate and take pride in our accomplishment.  As excited as I was of my earthly home, Father was challenging me to think of the mansion that Jesus went to prepare for me where I would live forever in His presence with all those gone before me.  Once again I dreamed of a home, but one no longer requiring a mortgage, repairs, maintenance, or insurance in case of a natural disaster.  Father was alluding to life after death, the reason behind my conversion, the source of my hope that my brother was in a better place, a place I would one day hopefully arrive at- just like he had, only now he would be there to receive me when I exited the train towards heaven.

These feast days of the past few days remind me, that my days on earth are numbered that I have a forever destination and though that might sound morbid, Catholicism prepares us to meet Sister Death with hope of the future. Yesterday, as I sat in the pew participating in the Transitus prayer service at my local parish, the altar had sunflowers (which always connect me with my brother in heaven) and I thought of his death and the sadness I felt.  Which reminded of something I once read, “when we are born we come into the world crying and when we die we go with the crying sounds of those left behind.”  I wondered if babies know that they have entered into a temporal world and that’s why they cry and it made sense that when we die we go peacefully while the ones left behind cry…   

This week has two of my favorite Catholic traditions the Transitus Prayer Service or the vigil of the passing over of Saint Francis into heaven.  This feast is an important part of Franciscan spirituality because ideally Christians shouldn’t be afraid of death.  In remembering Saint Francis’ joyful end, turning his soul to the author of Love with such confidence we are invited to embrace our mortality with great trust that God is waiting for us, that all is not lost- that we are crossing over to God in the final mystery.  The service is absolutely beautiful - one that I look forward to every year and invite you to experience.

So beautifully set-up.

On a lighter note, as Saint Francis is one of those saints that has such depth of spirituality which stretches us into realms completely out of our comfort zone (death), he also elevates us into a happy celebration of life.  On his Feast Day, every October fourth, another tradition that I just adore is the blessing of the animals.  Bring your pet to church day!  Dollar and I have been participating in this short prayer ritual since we learned about it and we have nothing, but high reviews.  All pets are welcomed!  This year he wore his birthday suit and he was the belle of the ball, I thought it’d be funny to have him wear his Sunday’s best and it sure made a lot of people smile- mission accomplished.  Now you see why I love Saint Francis he elevates me to heaven, but teaches me to appreciate life here on earth because life or death both are a gift from God. 

I love this shot because you can see when Dollar receives the holy water and his demons leave him (LOL).

Gianna Club Paint & Wine Night

On Saturday, my Gianna Club hosted a paint and wine evening.  The sister of our leader is an artist and she helped us work on our very own interpretation of the Immaculate Heart of Mary.  Time flew in the company of such solid Catholic women...  Last month kicked off year two of the club, this time organized in a different manner.  Per the leader, we are calling each period a semester because each semester will include the reading of a book.  This club will feature a Christian book to initiate dialogue at each monthly meeting.  Instead of having a monthly speaker the book will serve as a way to spark discussion and foster sisterhood among our group.  Usually each monthly session (called “Water into Wine”) begins with light appetizers, wine and conversation before the whole group gathers to discuss the book.  I feel like it’s a very effective way to form friendships with other Catholic women because the whole night is shaped around conversation.  After our book discussion we get a prayer card where we write our intentions, then all the intentions are placed in a bowl and each person picks a prayer card before heading home.  Whoever I receive I must pray for her during the upcoming month and reach out to her to let her know that I am interceding on her behalf.

As these monthly meetings are more geared into growing in faith together, this year Gianna’s Club is also adding a social night each month.  For September our leader hosted at her home a wine and paint night.  Each person made a small contribution to cover material fees.  Since sometimes pictures speak louder than words I thought I would show you how the artistic night enfolded.

 Inspiration was the first stop- loved that our wine glasses had our name as a personal touch.

Light hors devours was provided, in my opinion the breaking of bread during a shared meal always invites people to relax and enjoy.  Food is great at helping us open up (smile).

Each of us received a blank canvas and a picture of our objective.

The artist (in black) walked around our tables giving us tips on how to achieve a better painting.

 At our tables we did a fine job encouraging one another.

Each piece looked quite unique, showing us the diversity of the Holy Spirit at work in each of us.

The night helped solidify old friendships and begin new ones.

My final product.

Next month’s social evening will be a clothing swap, and for this recycle loving gal- that sounds fantastic! If you want to learn more about the club here's the link Gianna Club.  I have been a fan of the club since I first learned about it because it's not defined by age or marital status, all women are welcomed. 

The Challenges of the Single Vocation

I think I have become a bit of a cynic because I have a very low tolerance for the popular topic on Christian blogs about enjoying your singleness.  When I was in my twenties those articles gave me hope, but after reading some version of them for the past ten years I am beginning to detest their cheerful, glass-half-full messages because being single is not awesome all the time.  What I am about to say might shock you, but I am a sensual being I have hormones that tell me I need intimacy. Yes, I am a person who lives a chaste life, but I have sexual urges, urges I have to fight because I want to live a holy life.  Fighting those urges is hard, especially in a world where I am constantly bombarded with messages to “just do it.”  I was listening to the radio the other day, a Spanish station, and the host was talking about how these days men want women with experience – I was shocked to hear that even though that’s a common secular thought.  Virginity is not popular, it’s a theme of many jokes – today virginity is under attack making people like me feel shame as the years pass by and my sexual status doesn’t change. 

Then there’s the matter of children.  Single women, especially have this fear that men sometimes don’t like to hear about or get especially uncomfortable, the dreaded biological clock.  When I was in my twenties reading those cheerful articles about enjoying my single life I had no thoughts about my fertility because I was young- but as I get older and continue to have this desire to be a mom I feel the pressure of the fertile years passing me by.

These challenges make being a Catholic, single woman in her thirties difficult and I think that as a woman I have needed to hear that it’s ok to have these desires and to not always feel rosy about my status in life.  This week I began reading a book that was written in the fifties about femininity and the wisdom in The Eternal Woman the Timeless Meaning of the Feminine, by Gertrud Von le Fort, has reassured me that what I am feeling is natural.  Von le Fort talks openly about the great desire single people have towards sexual intimacy, the attacks on virginity in modern times and our longing for children.  She reaffirms that the single vocation is difficult and she speaks of it as a type of martyrdom.  That Catholics want to live chaste lives believing that virginity is sacred and that sometimes our fertile years pass us by- is a way of suffering - carrying our cross.  My single vocation has at times felt like a martyrdom some days more than others and to have this Catholic woman validate those feelings made me so happy.  It’s hard saying no to my carnal feelings, it’s hard to grow older in a culture that no longer values virginity and shames people who are so, and it’s hard having time sensitive fertility; but, “…Purity always includes a depth of pain, (it) denotes the sacrifice that is the price for insight into the immortal value of a person.  This explains why the liturgy always places the virgin beside the martyr, who bears witness to the absolute value of the soul.”  Self-denial in the single vocation is difficult and not talking about it is toxic.  I am not saying that being single sucks - just that it’s challenging sometimes and knowing that I am not alone in my suffering is like having a good session of group therapy, where I receive validation that I am not alone and encouragement to continue striving for a holy life. Totally recommend this book.

A Dream Deferred

Can I tell you something personal?  I have been feeling lost for some years now - I’ve had so many distractions that have kept me from taking a deep look at my life.  When I was younger I had so many goals, so many dreams and then one day I either scratched them off of my list or they shriveled and died.  I find myself looking back knowing that my last day at my current employment will expire on my birthday.  It’s this end of a chapter and this beginning of a new year of life that have me feeling mixed emotions.  In addition, this time of year is also the anniversary of my brother parting to heaven and I always feel a great shadow of sadness.  His death taught me so much and has propelled me in a faith journey that I never intended to take- it’s also a reminder that life is precious, a gift and should be lived to the most complete. 

Also, my close relationship with my nephew (as I get to share his beginnings and adventures) have given me this great desire to begin again, to pull out my pen and dream new goals.  After much contemplation, I think I want to give teaching another a try.  I know that due to my bipolar I’ve failed at it before and it scares me to try again.  Nevertheless, as I have helped my nephew transition into middle school I have come to realize that I love that age group and I love the literature that is taught at that level.  Though, I am still bipolar this time I am at a different phase where I am more able to control my disability.

I have already renewed my substitute credential so after the layoff I MIGHT substitute for the rest of the school year (unless I find a more permanent job) and then next September look into acquiring a long-term position.  I need to renew my teaching credential so that’s another step that I need to take, since I haven’t taught in many, many years the renewal process is a little involved, but I have faith that if this is what God wants for me, He will help the doors that need opening to do just that.  It’s difficult to share this because I am terrified of failing again, so I ask for your prayers.  In the meantime, I have been praying about it and also coming up with ideas on how to deal with the anxiety and racing thoughts that have plagued me before when I taught.  Coming up with ways to deal with the negative feelings ahead of time gives me hope that I will be able to manage my disability and still live the life I’ve always dreamed of.   I feel a tug in this direction and I think it’s time to pursue it and see where God leads me.

A Dream Deferred 

by Langston Hughes 

What happens to a dream deferred? 

Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? 

Or fester like a sore-- 

And then run? 

Does it stink like rotten meat? 

Or crust and sugar over-- like a syrupy sweet? 

Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. 

Or does it explode? 

Why do Catholics do that?

A friend of mine's daughter had to do a project for her sociology class in which she had to observe a religious practice.  She went to a Catholic Mass and had some questions for me, figured I would share the answers for those who read my blog and aren't Catholic and for those that do as a refresher (smile).  Why do Catholic's do that?  My first Q & A enjoy...

1) What does making the cross motion from your head to the left/right side of your chest signify? 

It’s a prayer, an invocation to our triune God: Father (forehead) Son (middle of chest) and Holy Spirit (Left and Right shoulder). It’s a really powerful prayer that can even be a type of exorcism because evil hates God’s name. I've read that at one time the early, persecuted church used the sign of the cross as a password to identify themselves as Christians. 

2) Why do people dip their finger in water and do that cross motion before entering the church? Is this required? 

The water serves as a reminder of our baptism, and also we bless ourselves with it. These are traditions and keeping tradition alive is a huge part of being Catholic. 

3) Why do some people kneel at the aisle before taking a seat in a pew? 

We all are supposed to genuflect (kneeling bow) in recognition of the tabernacle and the altar, it’s a sign of reverence. Sort of how one would courtesy in front of royalty. Catholic's show respect, honor, and worship to Jesus by doing so. We do this because we believe our King of kings is really present. 

4) What are a few of the terms that a priest will say that evoke a recitation from people? (ex: the priest said “the word of the Lord” and people recited something back that I couldn’t understand) 

Our liturgical worship is meant to unite people and invite active participation. We pray together many times in one voice throughout the service. Usually after a biblical reading, we respond. Like when the priest reads the Gospel reading he always concludes with, “The Gospel of the Lord.” And the community responds, “Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.” 

5) Why does the priest walk off the stage and back on holding the Bible over his head? And why do people in the pews bow when the Bible passes them? 

As a sign to indicate to the community that something BIG is about to take place and we bow in recognition of God actively present in His Word. The Book of Gospels (not the bible) contains all four gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) and we believe that God is truly present in four ways in the Mass: One through his Word (the readings), through the priest, through the people, and through the Eucharist (the consecrated bread and wine). 

6) Are the people who receive the bread and wine for communion first and then distribute it to the rest of the church, elders of the parish? 

The people that go up to the front are the people that will help distribute communion. They are the first to receive the Body and Blood of Christ because they will be helping the priest give communion to the community. They are regular members of our congregation, anyone who is a fully initiated, practicing Catholic can become a Eucharistic Minister. During our service a lot of people in the community help in the service. Some help with the readings, others greeting at the door, some taking up collection, some singing in the choir… And some distributing the Body and Blood of our Lord. 

6) Why do people open their hands, palms up, during certain prayers or after the priest says something? 

Our worship is all encompassing, we use all our being body, mind, soul. So, at times we kneel together, other times we lift our hands to the Lord as a sign of receptiveness. We are open to the will of God. We also do it as a sign of honor and praise.

Our faith is beautiful, full of meaning and tradition passed throughout generations.  

Tour of Saint Barbara Catholic Church

I don’t get tired of saying that I love that Catholic parishes remain open all day so that any person can seek refuge at any time.  If for whatever reason, you don’t have a space at home where you can be alone with God just stop by any Catholic Church and you will find yourself in a place that is so conducive to prayer.  Each parish is so unique, the inside structure and décor varies – in some you can almost get a feel for the year it was constructed based on the inside construction.  I am fortunate because I have many parishes minutes away from where I live and due to my Sunday commitments I alternate as to where and what time I attend Mass.  I also, have options when I want to be alone with God (which makes me quite spoiled), thus I thought I would do a series giving you tours of the parishes where you will most likely find me.

Stole this pic from their website, all others are mine.

The first parish that I went into when I came back to the Catholic Church was Saint Barbara in Santa Ana.  My brother invited me to a retreat with a young adult group he was involved with, the group being part of this parish community invited me into the parish’s life.  At the time I was still attending protestant churches, but I was feeling a tug, like the Eucharist calling me home.  Thus, I found out when the parish was hosting confessions and with all the insecurity and fear in me I went into the confessional for the first time since my first communion at the age of seven.  In that confessional I found God’s mercy and a priest who guided me back home.  Therefore, Saint Barbara Parish will always hold a special place in my heart.  There I have been a lector, minister of hospitality, JPC prayer warrior, secretary of the parish council, and most recently RCIA catechist.  Since it’s the first Catholic Church that I attended as a revert I thought I would start my blog tours with this one. Let's begin...  

The outside has this beautiful shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes which is always kept surrounded by flowers that parishioners continue to bring her throughout the year.  You can always catch people praying here.  It's one of my favorite spots. 

The inside is very big and in the customary shape of a cross with the altar being the head.  It was constructed in 1962 and since it's been host to a large thriving community.  The Vietnamese being the largest, which I find so encouraging when I go to services in that language because the church is bursting with people, as large as the building is people still stand on Sundays due to not enough pews.

Curiously, the parish doesn't have an image of its patron saint, Saint Barbara, which I found a little odd.  It does however have two (new) screens which come in handy in translating the readings when I go to Mass in Vietnamese or to guide people in prayer.

This parish doesn't have a separate chapel that hosts the tabernacle, rather the body of Christ is kept underneath the crucifix behind the altar.

It has beautiful carved and colored Stations of the Cross.

 In a separate alcove at the back of the Church there's an altar to pray, honoring the Vietnamese Martyrs.    

Finally, though not much to look at - this door leads to the confessional where I had my first confession as an adult.  It's also the place where I found a lot of healing and direction from an elderly priest who has since completed his journey on earth.  

Though now I mostly only attend this parish to help with Catechism- it will always hold a special place in my heart because it was the place where a lot of my initial conversion occurred (smile).

A Case for Authenticity: J Crew Bubble Necklace

 I don’t like fakes.  No, this is not an angst ridden Holden Caulfield statement, I am referring to those made in China phonies that have infiltrated the market to make the consumption problem bigger.  Those products marked as if they are brand name items, but in reality they are just a cheap imitation- usually the too-good-to-be-true price tag is a huge indication.  Normally, the fakes immediately look, well… fake.  However, now knockoffs are so popular that some pirates are making products a little more difficult to detect between the real and the dupes.  As a person who has a side eBay business flipping my thrift store finds, I have become ever so studious in the art of authentication.  I pride myself in selling only originals, but as a regular thriftier I do come across many, many fakes.

You know what my biggest argument against Christianity was?  That all Christians were a bunch of hypocrites.  At the time I hadn’t met anyone who lived to the standards of Christ.  I would describe all the flaws of all the people that I knew were Christians, I didn’t see their intention in trying their best to live holy lives I just saw their shortcomings.  These weaknesses I held as enough to make my case against organized religion…  Months before my brother died he asked if he could speak to a priest, mom took him to a nearby parish and because they hadn’t scheduled an appointment and probably caught the priest of guard, he yelled at them.  He told him that he didn’t have time and if they were regular parishioners they would know to schedule an appointment and not come just whenever they NEEDED to come.  This was a real hard blow for my brother who was battling with schizophrenia and his thoughts went into interpreting this interaction as God having left him.  I was so angry with the priest because he was supposed to be Jesus and when he rejected my feeble brother – you know what they say, “mess with me, but don’t mess with my loved ones!”  In the years since, I have come to the conclusion that we all hate liars, but that I need to be less judgmental with people.  We all have bad days, we all stumble we all fall; but, the difference in a Christian is that Jesus picks us up and motivates us to try better next time.  Little by little, one fall at a time we are invited to change and become holier.  Thus, Christians are not hypocrites, they just haven’t arrived at holiness – like everyone else we are works in progress…  That priest had a bad day, a moment where he didn't live up to the Christian expectation, but I have those off days all the time so now I understand that even ordain people have flaws, but that doesn't make them phonies.

...I have digressed from my original purpose…  I love accessories and when I found my first J Crew Bubble Necklace that retailed for $150 dollars at Goodwill for $6.99 I just about passed out.  Since, I found five more and because I found two of the same color I figured I would try selling one on my eBay store.  That’s when I realized that many people where not fooled into paying the hefty price and the pirates of China capitalized on those beautiful beads.  After serious research I concluded that only one of my pieces is an original and the others are fakes.  Aww, the woe of that discovery!  Though I only paid a few bucks for each, the fact that I was lied to, that my keen eye to spot the real had been fooled made me so mad.  It was also an awakening into how big the counterfeit world has grown.  Now in addition to shoes, bags I need to learn how to spot "real" costume jewelry!  Some of you might be thinking that I am being a bit dramatic, but fakes are very harmful.  I will dedicate a future post into the world of counterfeits and the effects of it because lies no matter where are no bueno.  

But today I will go over the real J Crew Bubble Bib Necklace vs the J Smew copy.

The white one is the real $150 in 18K gold plated brass with hand-set resin cabochons and beads, the red is one of the many replicas of this iconic statement piece.  From afar both look exactly the same, but a trained eye would see difference immediately...

The chain on the white one is larger and has remained gold even though the necklace was released in 2012, the replica is much smaller, flimsier and has tarnished with age. 

The end stopper, the real one has a simple gold fixing at each end of the beads the red one has a lace-like much bigger stopper.

The back design is subtle in the real J Crew and a nice shade of gold and much more defined both in detail and yellow color in the fake one.

Finally, the clasp on a real bubble necklace is a lobster clasp and the brand name tag is round with a bit of middle rise.  The fake tag is much bigger, flat and the clasp is different. You can also see that with time the real one has kept its color while the dupe has tarnished.

I live for authenticity whether in people or the things that surround me because I know that while the differences between the real and the fake necklaces are visually subtle the cost between the two affects a whole lot of people.  In a future post I will discuss the effects of counterfeits and why the real deal is much, much better for society.  I will also add my knowledge on identifying the real deal for any authenticity nerds out there (smile).

Christian Rest

After the summer off, yesterday kicked off a new year of the Rite for Christian Initiation of Adults program and a new year of my commitment to serve in ministry.  It is during my volunteer time that my Sunday’s can feel quite hectic with activity.  Yesterday, I had go to mass in Vietnamese in order to make all the activities that I am involved in work.  RCIA takes a big chunk of my Sunday, I am at the church from 930AM to 1230PM setting up, tearing down and in class with my students.  The first weeks are rather chaotic because I am the secretary of the group and I am in charge of sign ups, receiving payment and making sure that I obtain all documents from each student.  Yesterday, also happened to be the Sunday of the month where I attend my Franciscan formation, that’s another three hours of my day from 2 to 5 PM.  Thus, I woke up super early to attend Mass and didn’t arrive back home until after 5 PM completely exhausted.

As I drove home after a day of so much activity I thought of the homily that Pope Francis recently gave on how we should live our Sunday, “For us Christians, the center of the Lord’s Day, Sunday, is the Eucharist, which means “thanksgiving.”  It is the day to say to God: thank you, thank you, Lord; thank you for life, for your mercy, for all your gifts.”  Sunday, as a day of rest should be lived and understood differently for us Christians.  It's much more than a day to do nothing.  Pope Francis went on to explain how people today interpret rest as what will be fun or what will bring them pleasure.  This existence filled with entertainment, alienation, and escape from reality is not true rest, “Man has never rested as much as today, yet man has never experience as much emptiness as today... (rest) is the moment of contemplation, it is a moment of praise, not of evasion.  It is time to look at reality and say: how beautiful life is!” That's just so beautiful, so inspiring it really makes me want to change how I approach my moments of rest.

You see, I am guilty of seeking rest for pleasure, sometimes I am so tired from a day’s work that I just want to vegetate in front of the TV.  At times this desire to have “me time” makes me want to dismiss my volunteer commitments.  Also as an introvert who needs alone time to recharge my batteries I can quickly talk myself into thinking that my need for alone time supersedes helping others.  Yet, as I drove home tired from a day of so much godly activity, I realized how happy I felt even if physically exhausted.  All morning I shared my love for God and my faith with a new batch of students in my class, then I went to grow in holiness with my Franciscan brothers and sisters and I was fed in the Eucharist.  It was my day of rest; yet, it felt so much more rewarding than sitting watching a marathon show on Netflix.  “Only in God does my soul rest,” the psalmist says - a true statement to find peace and fulfillment one day at a time.