Mexican-American

I purposely wear Mexican ethnic clothes to work to show the students the beauty of our culture.  I know that many, during the difficult high school years, tend to shun away speaking the language or having any semblance of pride in their roots- so what I hope is to show the kids that being who you are is ok.  After wearing a woven tunic that I recently purchased in Mexico, a student came the following week wearing a sarape sack.  She pridefully showed it to me and said, “Look, Ms. Penny do you like my new bag?  I got it over the weekend.” This prompted a discussion on the beauty of ethnic fashion.  I told her how Frida Kahlo loved wearing cultural outfits because her husband Diego Rivera had a weakness for that style.

I was sharing this story with a group of my closest Mexican friends and they told me quite frankly that ethnic clothes do not make me Mexican and in fact that they have never seen me as Mexican, but mostly like someone who has blended into the American culture.  This was a bit of a slap in the face because I was born in Mexico and I thought that was enough to identify me as Mexican, but because I left as a child and have lived most of my life here- my Mexican friends think I have lost my Mexicaness.  When speaking to American friends they of course see me as Mexican, thus I am back where I have always been: too Mexican to be American and too American to be Mexican.  Luckily, I still don’t identify as Latinx or else they would be right (smile) and I would definitely no longer be Mexican.

They even brought up my citizenship- I told them I had dual citizenship, but even so they think the American citizenship outweighs my Mexican nationality.  In wearing typical clothes my aim is not to claim Mexicaness, my desire is simply to spotlight the beauty of my roots and in doing so giving others the space to find pride in their own roots.  For me, my cultural identity has given me the greatest joy.  It sucks that I am at the age that I am and I am still hearing the same arguments that used to make my skin boil.  However, in the end I think I need to start embracing my chameleon skin, one that is a blend of Mexican and American and though my weakness is to the place I was born – I do love the country that has allowed me to fly and make my dreams beautiful realities, but just to please people I guess I need to start answering the identity question as, “I, Penny am Mexican-American” because I don’t fly solo anymore according to the mainstream friends (LOL).