Check In

How are you doing?

I feel like I am drifting away, like this whole pandemic has cut the cord to my deep connection with the faith community.  My belief is still strong, but I do miss my weekly encounters with people that shared my passion for God.  These days I spend more time with people that don’t share the same faith and it’s hard not feeling like the odd girl out. 

Did you watch the new episode of “The Bachelor” or “Saving Sunset” or “The Real Housewives”?  “No to all of the above,” I say, “I like shows that make me feel good about myself and those reality TV Shows really don’t inspire goodness in me.”  Then the conversation goes dead and I feel like the oddest person alive because I prefer historical drama, PBS or Mastery Theatre shows.  I mean even in the superficiality of conversation I still have a difficult time finding common ground.

I think of Saint Francis and the various people that he spoke with and I know that I need to improve, but it so helps when one has a physical community to belong to.  A place that takes all the weirdos like me.  I miss having those avenues like my Bible Studies, Extension Learning, Theology on Tap and the many other social events that I used to attend with the various church groups in my area.  Being weird was easier then because I had a refuge to go to where my beliefs were validated. 

“O, Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek // To be consoled as to console // To be understood as to understand // To be loved as to love…”

I forget that I am not the center and it’s not always about me, and that’s why I continue to live wanting wholeheartedly to imitate Saint Francis to be more like Him and less like me.