Aristotle believed that there are three types of friendship.
Friendship of utility- These can be described as people that
you need because they are useful to you, you benefit from each other much like most
of your coworkers. Usually the people we
work with are friendships created with goals in common, working together to
build the company, etc.
Friendship of pleasure- Think back to college and the wild
times of fun, partying and binge watching television shows together. These friends are usually people we share
hobbies with or are our drinking buddies, but if interest change or one stops
drinking these friends will disappear.
Friendship of good- These friendships are a small intimate
group with mutual admiration and respect, in which getting to know one-another
involves falling more deeply in love with God and growing in virtue. These are perfect, permanent friendships that
require time, commitment and intimacy, “The perfect form of friendship is that
between good, and those who resemble each other in virtue. For these friends wish each other’s good in
respect of their goodness, and they are good in themselves; but it is those who
wish the good of their friends for their friends’ sake who are friends in the
fullest sense, since they love each other for themselves and not accidently…”
I went to confession a few months back and as I confessed my
sins, Father asked me if I was lonely. It
struck me as kind of odd that he would ask me that question because I certainly
don’t think that I am. I have a thriving
social life and a family that I am very close to. However, the more I have meditated on Father’s
statement I realize that while I have many friends, I don't share my faith with most. Father
is right my soul needs friends that share my faith in a more intimate
way. Others who are not afraid to
speak about theology, to grow in virtue and to pray with me. Though, I think I am to blame because I can
be very private about my faith in non-Catholic social gatherings afraid of offending others… For sometime, I have been thinking of starting a Catholic book club, to bring other women together and foster deeper friendships while sharing our faith. It's just an idea, hopefully with God's help I'll be able to put it into action.
If you find yourself also needing more intimate friendships, pray
with me through the intercession of Saint John the Apostle, model of friendship:
“Lord, you are our best friend and love us like
none other. May my own best friend share in your goodness and love for me. Help
each one of us to have a good friend who truly wants what is best for our
souls. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer.
St. John, we pray too, for each one of us to have a stronger,
Christ-centered, prayer-focused friendship in Communion with the Saints,
Angels, and Holy Trinity. May we enjoy going to Mass and Adoration with our
friend, praying the Rosary, Divine Mercy chaplet, and other devotions, learning
about the Lord through Scripture and Church teaching together.
Pray
that we bring new people into the Church as friends.
O
Glorious Apostle, who, on account of thy virginal purity, wast so beloved by
Jesus as to deserve to lay thy head upon his divine breast, and to be left, in
his place, as son to his most holy Mother; I beg thee to inflame me with a most
ardent love towards Jesus and Mary.
Obtain
for me from our Lord that I, too, with a heart purified from earthly affections,
may be made worthy to be ever united to Jesus as a faithful disciple, and to
Mary as a devoted son, both here on earth and eternally in heaven.
St.
John, please intercede for us with God so that we may all be blessed with
friendships centered in Your teaching.
May
we never stray from the path of goodness and always seek out a friend who will
help us stay in the faith.
Amen.”
May God help us free or open up our schedules to friends
who inspire us to do good and live a life of virtue.
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