Yesterday’s Old Testament reading, from the Book of Genesis,
in which Adam hides from God in shame is a perfect illustration of what happens
when we distrust God.
“The Lord God called to the man and asked him, “Where are
you?” He answered, I heard you in the garden; but I was afraid, because I was
naked so I hid myself.””
Adam forgot God’s mercy and hid from Him believing that his
sin was greater than God’s mercy. As I listened
to the reading and Father’s homily, I understood Adam in a way I
hadn’t before because when I am afraid it’s hard to not let my fear dominate my
knowledge of God. It’s difficult to
think about God’s mercy and providence when I am stuck in a jam and my mind is
so focused on the problem at hand. A
friend once told me, “Don’t forget in the darkness, what you learned in the
light.”
The other day, I went to chapel to pray, when I arrived my problems seemed so much bigger than my trust in God. As I sat switching my gaze from the
tabernacle to the enormous Divine Mercy painting of Jesus I realized that when
I doubt- it doesn’t have to do with doubts in whether I believe in God, but
rather my doubts have to do with my trust in Him. Trusting His involvement
during my trials and tribulations on my most pessimistic days is my
struggle. During Mass yesterday I realized that I am not the only one with this
struggle, there are countless biblical testimonies of how much people struggled to trust in God. In all these examples God
remains faithful never giving up on us. So, what can we do when our fears seem too great to give God our trust?
Remember: Recall the many times you called on God and He
came to your rescue. A good way to
remember is by keeping a prayer journal that way in your dark hours you can read
back to times when God delivered you.
Submerse in the Word: Read scripture, stories that have to
do with people’s lack of trust in God.
When I read that even the apostles lacked trust in God it’s like going to a
support group with others who have the same struggle. Prepare ahead of time making a bookmark with
the many biblical accounts of others who lacked trust in God, that way you know
exactly what page to turn to in your bible.
Talk to someone: I am not very good at seeking others to
help me when I am down. Usually when I
am feeling blue, I keep to myself- which is probably not the best thing to
do. I just don’t want to worry or burden
my family with my problems, so I can bottle things up. BUT God created us to live in community so
that we can share not only our joys, but also our troubles.
Pray: I have a fuel gage that lets me know exactly when
I need to get down on my knees and pray.
During moments of inner turmoil my normal praying is not enough, I
usually seek refuge at a nearby chapel and I let all of it out in front of
Jesus. When I have emptied myself of my
worry and fear I then sit and wait to be filled with His Spirit. –You can also
ask others to pray for you, something I need to do more willingly.
Life is full of the unexpected, things that will move us
closer to God and times that will challenge our trust in Him. As I sat in front of Him at chapel, I
realized that I already made the decision to follow Him and now I just need to
work on growing my TRUST and poco a
poco it's doable (smile). I had a meeting this morning so am a little late.
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