Happy 2nd Birthday In My Shoes

Today in my shoes turns 2! 

My life philosophy can be summed up in a few short words, “my origin is Love, my vocation is Love and my destiny is Love” or as Saint Paul tells us, “the most important of these is love.” 

Last night I was reflecting on the story of the prodigal son, and two things stood out that I want to share with you.  First, I mediated on how the Father sees his son returning while the son is still far, far away.  This description leads to the conclusion that the father must have been waiting for the return of his son.  Outside on his porch the father waited patiently for his wild, sinful son to return home.  Likewise God patiently waits for each of us to return to Him.  God too sits on His porch looking into the horizon hoping to see His children returning to Him out of our own freewill because love is freely given never demanded.  God doesn’t care how long you have been away or the things that you have done- nothing is too big to separate us from the love of God (SMILE)!  The prodigal son is famous for taking his inheritance and squandering it in all types of selfish, lustful, sinful ways.  Like us, the prodigal son is covered in dirty sin- but he has the humility to repent and seek his father for forgiveness.  His example of seeking his father even after he has been such a horrible son should motivate us to always seek God who never tires of forgiving us- for God is love and He waits for us every single day.  And am sure He throws a party and the angels rejoice every time a person returns to the Kingdom of God.

The other thing that caught my attention in the Prodigal Son Parable was something the father tells his other son, the son who has been with his father working diligently all of his life.  The second son gets angry at his father’s reaction toward the return of his troubled brother.  He confronts his father and asks him why he’s throwing a party for his brother when it’s him who has been loyal all of his life.  I absolutely love the response of the father, “my son you are here with me always; everything I have is yours.”  In this story we often focus on the prodigal son because we can easily identify with his sin, repentance and need for forgiveness; but, for those who have been following Christ for years (if not all of your lives) we can get this entitled attitude and get mad or envious when others get blessed.  Yet, last night, God showed me something that I had never captured in my multiple readings of this story, “everything I have is yours.”  God has given us everything including Himself!  Father Sergio says that if we knew how many blessings we dismiss because we are not open to God we would cry.  The responsible son has been with his father all of his life, yet I imagined he never asked his dad for a calf to celebrate with his friends and now he’s bitter because his dad is throwing a party in honor of his brother’s return.  How many times do we let fear, pride or sin keep us from asking God to bless us? Or because of fear, pride and sin we don’t accept His blessing?  God is rich in forgiveness and rich in generosity, but we must make a decision to seek Him out of our own freewill.  We must open our hearts to Him.

Big Thank You, from Penny & Dollar!

Last night, during adoration I was so consumed in this story seeing a lot of things for the very first time and I was so happy thinking of nothing else.  Maybe because I was so at peace and my mind was on God, I was able to clearly hear His voice and His words caused me to smile BIG.  I looked at the monstrance and just smiled at Him whispering, “You are good God- You got me good.”  I think by now you know that I struggle a lot in my spiritual journey with this feeling that I am wasting my life and over the past three days the negative feeling returned and God annihilated it with Psalm 23 - just the first verse; “The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want.”  Here I was engrossed in the story of the prodigal son and out of nowhere the Spirit of God comes and gives me peace beyond understanding.  The biblical verse made so much sense to me because I am in the hands of God and under the wings of His providence.  God loves us so much! He really does and that is what I hope you gather from these ramblings.  God loves you to infinity and beyond.  “Your origin is Love, your vocation is Love and your destiny is Love!”

I love you in Christ!  Thanks for reading and cheers to another year gone by…           

Be Kind Anyway

I was raised as we in Spanish would say a la antigua or with old fashion principles.  One of the values my parents instilled early on was to have pride in and protect the family name.  During my formative years they taught me to be friendly to everyone and treat people with respect.  I remember every time we visited friends I was expected to greet everyone with a firm handshake.  Growing up they did teach me scholarly things, but mostly focused on forming a good person with a kind heart.  They taught by example, my parents are extremely popular people in our town in Mexico (they have numerous godchildren to prove it) because people love and respect them so much.  This respect came from two things: my parents are people of honor and extremely kind to everyone who crosses their path.  When we moved to California things didn’t change and soon the entire neighborhood were friends with my parents.  Sometimes they walk my dog and whoever they meet in their path they smile and say hello.  They go out of their way to be kind.  I remember the first time I had a BBQ at my house my neighbor was cutting a tree and my dad grabbed a plate of carne asada with all the trimmings and very natural handed the plate over to my very surprised neighbor. In our home, getting good grades was secondary to being a kind, welcoming, serviceable person to others.  And I think that their example of human kindness has served me greatly in my life for I too boast of many friendships.

Growing up, the transition from Mexico to California really affected me because of the language barrier.  Starting at a new school where I couldn’t be understood or understand anyone was extremely difficult and I became a withdrawn, quiet child.  As I got older my shyness kept me from making a lot of friends, but the few friends I had were highly treasured.  In high school I met most of my friends who are my core group or my best friends forever as my nephew says.  In having this small group of friends I felt like I needed no one else and for many years I didn’t let anyone else in.  I love my best friends they are people of exceptional character, who have traveled with me through some of my darkest hours and though none have a relationship with Christ they have been very supportive of my reversion into the Catholic Church.  Yet, as I have grown in my faith so has my need increased to make solid Catholic friendships.  I love Victorian and Gregorian literature because it presents a culture of high morality - a culture very similar to the simple way of life I was brought up in.  Growing up I always felt like a weirdo because my old fashioned values seemed to clash with the lifestyles those close to me led.  It wasn’t until I started making Catholic friends that I found people who were waiting on sex until marriage, who believed in sacramental marriage and who valued traditional family, like me.  These friendships gave me the confidence to be utterly me with my Victorian, antiquated principles!

Though I thought that I needed no more friends God showed me that in order for me to continue maturing as a Catholic I needed godly people to encourage, accompany and guide me in my spiritual journey.  As I began to open myself to friendships I soon was like my parents blessed with so many wonderful friendships and now I have my core Catholic best friends too, who encourage me so much!  I learned that I didn’t have to give up my non-Catholic friends because they weren’t causing me to sin, after much trial and error I realized that I got drunk out of my own actions not because of peer pressure.  I learned to see the goodness in them (not the sin) and am so glad that they didn’t give up on me either while I found this out or as I gave up the party life and became more religious.  A friend wrote asking me to write a piece on how to make Catholic friendships, I didn’t realize that this was a challenge for people so I promise to tackle it next.  In the meantime know that good friendships come in all shapes and sizes and just because people are not Catholic doesn’t mean that they won’t make great friends.  I have a bundle of great people in my life who though not religious are my BFF’s and who I hope and pray one day will have a conversion of Heart and Soul.         

Education on Catholic Quinceañeras

On Saturday, my brother and I were godparents to my cousin’s daughter for her quinceañera.  In Latin American cultures we have this huge celebration for the fifteen birthday of girls as a way to reveal to society the transition from girl into young womanhood.  Traditionally girls were raised to learn various domestic skills before the reveal as a way to indicate to the community that she was ready for marriage. In addition, to her domestic training girls usually have to go through religious classes at their home parish (typically the confirmation program).  On the day of the celebration the girl along with her mother choose a ball gown in the color and design of their mutual liking.  Traditionally the girls were not allowed to wear make-up until the day of the reveal as a way to show that growth from girl to woman.  The celebration begins with a thanksgiving blessing or mass.  During the mass the girl is given a Bible, a rosary, a pendant with the patron saint of Mexico, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and a tiara which have been previously blessed by the godparents.  During the liturgical ritual the girl gives thanks to God, renews her commitment to Him and her Catholic faith, receives His blessing in this new stage of life she is beginning, presents a bouquet of flowers to Mother Mary as an act of consecration and receives communion.

There’s a lot of rituals that take place within the quinceañera mass that all have rich symbolic meaning. At the beginning the quinceañera enters the church in procession with her court, parents and godparents.  The priest greets her at the altar, where a designated chair is placed for the young lady.  The readings are chosen especially for the occasion and the quinceañera is encouraged to participate by reading one of the readings.  The homily is given with themes on remaining true and thankful to God, appreciating parents, family, friends and serving others. The gifts presented symbolize higher truths: the rosary and Bible symbolize the eternal word of God, the pendant symbolize a girl’s devotion to Mary and virginity, the crown represent her superior morality and serves as a reminder that she is God’s princess.  During the service the quinceañera makes a commitment to God and the blessed Virgin to live her life according to the teachings of Christ and the church by renewing her baptismal vows.  After communion the priest gives her a final blessing and the community congratulates the quinceañera with a warm applause.

After Mass guest are encouraged to join the quinceañera and her family at the reception for a yummy meal and lots of dancing.  During the reception many cultural rituals occur which have more of a societal significance.  The quinceañera is presented with her last doll (usually a beautiful porcelain doll with a replica of the quinceañera's dress) symbolizing the end of childhood; her first set of high heels representing her entrance into womanhood and the crown usually not given during mass is now placed on her head to remain for the rest of the celebration.  Another memorable thing that happens is the quinceañera’s first dance with her daddy- this is usually a very emotional point were daddy’s sometimes lose it and cry.  My brother and I were the godparents who sponsored the tiara and prior to the beginning of the dance we had to go in front of everyone and place the crown on her head.  The godparents usually sponsor items for the party because the celebration is a community affair where friends and family contribute monetarily.  The mentality is one of unity today you help me tomorrow we help you.  I wasn’t able to take pictures during the religious ceremony because I was too involved worshipping God, but I took some great ones of the reception before my camera died (sad face)!

 

Leave Your Mark in Hearts

Once there was a pencil maker and before packaging his pencils he would tell each one the following, “I want you to remember four things wherever you go: you will always need a hand to guide you, at times you will need to be sharpened, what’s important is in the inside and leave a mark wherever you go.”  Father Martin shared this little Irish parable that has in its simplicity four very important lessons for each of us to draw from.  Let’s dissect it.

You will always need a hand to guide you. In our Christian walk we must always remember that we are not alone.  Many times we will need friends and loved ones to guide us through life, to help us make wise choices, to support and encourage us.  I love how Jesus sent his disciples in teams of two knowing how much we need each other.  In this culture where individualism is held so highly we need to have the humility to accept that as self-sufficient as we might be, life when shared reaches the magnitudes that God wants for us.  “Happiness is only real if shared,” after all.

At times you will need to be sharpened.  Pain helps us become better people and to expand in love.  When we go through heartaches we have two choices: to become bitter and harden our hearts or to allow the pain to shape us into more definite images of Christ.  After, I experience moments of great tribulation I always realize that God used those difficult experiences for my good- and though I whine and whimper during the process afterwards I always feel holier or at least a bit more mature (smile).  Pain also helps us relate to others and makes us more compassionate.

What’s important is in the inside. The magazines sell glamour which is shallow, but true beauty always has depth because it comes from the inside it’s the goodness of God in all of us.  Glamour gets boring and expires with every new trend, but beauty is classic and has layer upon layer to discover.  And the more we uncover the more beautiful each person becomes.   

Leave a mark wherever you go. Wherever life takes you be a blessing to others.  During my vacation, I spent some time with a couple living in sin and at every meal I would silently say grace.  They noticed that I would pray and slowly they started asking me questions about my faith. We had great discussions about Catholicism, Pope Francis and the purpose of life.   By the last day of my stay the man asked me if I could say grace out loud.  He and his lover bowed their heads in reverence and after grace he smiled huge before starting our meal.  Everywhere you go you leave a mark the type of mark you leave is your choice.

Sometimes little stories can teach us so much! This Pencil Parable moved me deeply and I wanted to share it with you, the wisdom is not my own it comes from Father Martin…  After my trip I learned that my friend’s sister committed suicide and next week I will be attending funeral services for her.  I also came back to work to learn that my boss was fired and now I have a new boss with a challenging personality.  Life is difficult and painful at times, but we always have a choice to smile trusting that God is our difference in this world.

Mass In Mexico

When I was a little girl in Mexico, every Sunday my sister and I would go to Mass together.  My mom would send us off to church with our Sunday allowance and I remembered how much I enjoyed those mornings when I would trail behind my big sis and her cool friends.  She was in the choir as a teenager and I worshipped the ground she walked in.  We would always stop on the way home from church and buy a treat and as they gossiped among friends I got lost in little girl imaginations.  In Mexico, most of our holidays were centered around our faith and my sister and her group of friends were constantly organizing posadas, las mañanitas for Mother Mary and our moms, the feast of our Lady of Guadalupe, pilgrimages, the big four-day-pueblo celebration for our Patron Saint John the Baptist.  Our lives were simple and followed the liturgical calendar to some degree.  My last year in Mexico, I prepared to celebrate my first communion and it was such a big deal- my mom and my sister went to a nearby city to get me the grandest dress for my big day.  As the day got closer I studied a great deal and my sister and mom quizzed me constantly on the common Catholic prayers.  We had this red Bible and on occasional pages it had stenciled drawings of the life of Jesus and I loved contemplating on the pictures creating little stories in my mind. 

This past Sunday, I got to celebrate Mass in Mexico and all these precious memories invaded my mind!  It turned out that we were staying near Misión de San José del Cabo Añuti, a mission founded in 1730 by Father Nicolas Tamaral. The mission is beautiful and very reminiscent of the California missions.  It’s built in the standard shape of a cross and has two rows of pews that lead to the altar.  I really enjoyed the service because I saw little girls with their big sisters participating in the liturgy (smile).  They say that cultural Catholicism is dead, but in Mexico there’s still traces of our hereditary faith.  Outside the church was a kiosk and a large plaza – which reminded me of my town set-up in Michoacán.  In my pueblo there too is a kiosk outside the parish with a giant plaza where it’s typical for towns’ people to gather- making the church the heart of the pueblo.  The mercados usually set up around the plaza which makes it convenient for women to stop by the parish for daily Mass on their way for groceries.  All these sweet memories returned as I toured the small city of Cabo San Jose.  I saw traces of my sister and me in the faces of the kids and teens in their Sunday best.  It was such a happy Sunday to be in my birth country celebrating Mass and being filled with such treasured memories! Below are some pictures, enjoy.

Traveling to Mexico

I did a little traveling down to Mexico for a few days and it was such a nice trip- it helped me unwind, relax and slow down enough to get a greater appreciation on life and to develop mas gratitude over the many blessings God continues to provide.  I always marvel at the roads my life has taken- coming from a little, insignificant pueblo in Mexico and given opportunities that have allowed me to live a life of plenty always humbles me- I feel unworthy of so much goodness.  A friend opened his vacation home in Puerto Los Cabos to my bestie and I, and the two of us spent five days in a Mexican paradise.  There between sand, sun and water I was able to contemplate God and His beautiful creation and sing songs of praise for loving me so much!  For the first time in my life I was struck silent and no matter how hard I tried to put words to paper I found that my spirit wanted nothing more than to freely roam and absorb the beauty of my surroundings.  Everything was so aesthetically pleasing from the beautiful home we stayed at to the beauty of God’s creation and I just wanted to capture everything with my eyes.  Now as I close my eyes I can recall details perfectly, but no matter how much beauty man can create it does not equate to the perfect, tropical shades as the sun set or the private, darkness invaded by willful stars that covered the night.  Life is beautiful, especially if one possesses a thankful heart.  I pray daily that God helps me grow a grateful heart because a lot of the time I lead my life as if I am entitled to everything that I have- when the reality is that everything is a gift from Him…

I have noticed that traveling after my conversion has been very different than my previous travels as an agnostic.  Now when I travel I want to visit Catholic sites, require time for prayer and need to make sure I have a place to go to Sunday Mass.  Luckily we had a driver available that was able to take us around and I had a friend who though not a practicing Catholic was open to come along with me.

It was so beautiful to pray my rosary, novena and have some prayer time with God in such a beautiful place.

I found Mission San Jose to attend Sunday service and it was so beyond beautiful.  It reminded me of the times I went to Mass in my pueblo as a child.  I found it really interesting that the priest encouraged children to read the readings, I had never heard children lector before.

I did accompany my friend to a rowdy restaurant bar and I was so happy that God has liberated me from drunkenness, acting a fool and depending on alcohol to have a good time.  I like my quiet life, just relaxing and living in the moment soberly thanking God for His Providence.

My trip came to an end, but not without filling me up with God and giving me fresh, new energy to continue the routine (smile).  We all need a vacation once in awhile- it helps us pause, contemplate and fuels us to live our daily lives with passion and purpose.

The GREATEST Commandment

The GREATEST Commandment:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all you heart, with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind and love your neighbor AS yourself.”

During the weekend retreat, this verse really struck me because I had always seen it as loving God and loving others, but the last portion of it is really important and so often missed.  In the greatest commandment we are given a love mission: love God, love others AND love ourselves.  In fact we are supposed to get so good that the nature in which we love ourselves will become our model for loving others.  Here's three ways that I use to love myself.    

Avoid perfectionism and forgive yourself. Sometimes we are so ashamed of our pasts, of the mistakes we made, of the way we handled situations, of the way we treated others, of things that happened to us…  We think that our sin is so great that even if God forgives us we won’t forgive ourselves and we live our life punishing ourselves for not being perfect.  Remember that our value comes from God and He loves us so much that He died for our sins.  Though we all have our own imperfections in God we are new creations and have hope through daily conversion.  Every morning get up and thank God for creating you, praise Him by thanking Him for all of your strengths: “Thank you Lord, I am a (good, kind, happy, silly…) person thanks for making me this way.”  God doesn’t create garbage, but our sin keeps us from being perfect so we need to remember that flaws are a part of this world. Our idiosyncrasies just make us human and connect us to others if we allow it.

Know Yourself.  Spend time with yourself, learning what you need to lead a happy life and then take the actions to create that good life.  I know that I need eight hours of sleep or I won’t function to the best of my abilities.  I know that I need alone time to figure things out and to recharge my batteries.  I know that writing keeps me sane.  I know that without God or my Catholic faith my life is meaningless… All this self-knowledge influences my decisions and the way in which I live my life.  I live on purpose and I usually have a pretty good idea of how each of my days will be lived based on my needs and the choices I make to maintain a prayerful, peaceful, joyful, serviceful life.  When we learn who we are, what we value, what gives meaning and purpose to our lives we also learn the secret to lead happy lives in Christ.  I love spending time with myself so much that I constantly go on dates with me- not to toot my own horn, but I am really good company (smile)!

Let yourself be loved.  I have met many Christians that are wonderful lovers.  They lead sacramental lives honoring God they are of great assistance to their family, friends, their community…  They serve in ministries and just every action is filled with love as an expression of their attempt to fulfill the greatest commandment.  Yet, sometimes people that are used to giving are really bad at receiving.  When someone offers us a gift our willingness to accept is our gift to the giver.  If a person tells you they love you whether in an intimate relationship or a friendship accept it and don’t let your fears keep you from allowing that person to prove that it’s sincere.  Sometimes we are so afraid of hurt, rejection or loss that we create walls to keep us safe- but those walls keep us from some of the best experiences of life.  Open your heart and live in the present don’t listen to the negative voices from past failures.  We all have scars and some wounds that might still be healing, but God teaches us that love suffers long.  Love is not always a feeling of butterflies in your tummy- sometimes it hurts.  Jesus gave great testimony of sacrificial love- even though people hurt him deeply he never allowed toughness, cynicism or pride keep Him from receiving love.  He was so good at receiving it too.  When a woman washed his feet, he told his friends that he enjoyed the deep care and love which the woman demonstrated through her loving action.

I am the baby of my family so for me accepting love is usually not very difficult because I was given a lot of it growing up.  Yet, I have also been hurt and broken in my journey and many times I do want to recoil, refuse or question the loving action as my own protective mechanism, but God gives me the strength to go out into the world with courage, and hope not so much in others as in Him.  He tells us to look at the birds in the sky and even though they don’t sow, reap or gather God still provides for them abundantly- how much more will He do for us if we just let Him.

Conversion is Ongoing

The Christian life must move forward, it requires movement, because like water if it remains stagnant it will rot and start to stink.  Father spoke about how we Catholics think of conversion as a process that happens overtime.  We are not the “once saved always saved” type of people because we believe that the journey of life is a process that enables us to grow in holiness.  Thus, our lives need to be lived with intentionality- we need to have goals that help us mature in faith and we need to act accordingly towards reaching our objective mas holiness- more God less me.  Depending where you are at in your spiritual journey it’s good to seek spiritual direction so that together with the help of another you can reflect and work on areas that God is highlighting.  I think sometimes we get caught up in trying to evangelize others that we forget that we also need to be evangelized. In fact, Pope Francis tells us that we must first evangelize ourselves.  Below are some activities which I have found help me grow more in Christ.  

Add one more day of Mass to your week- Your week’s most important commitment is the Sunday Mass you should be going regularly.  Now look around your area for another day during the week which works with your schedule and start attending.  We have the privilege of being able to receive daily communion- that’s an honor that a lot of people in the world don’t have.  Thus, look to add one more day during your week to allow the love o f God through His Word and Holy Communion to give you extra strength and guidance for your daily lives. 

Pray the rosary daily- Develop the habit of spending time with God in prayer.  I noticed that before I started praying the rosary on a daily basis my prayer life was very egocentric.  I would talk freely to God about me, me, and me… A lot of the time I would walk away from my time with God unchanged and dissatisfied.  As I began to let Mother Mary guide me (through the Holy Rosary) my prayer life changed drastically and became God centered.  Sure I still talk to God about my concerns, but now I desire more to be with Him interceding for others.

Join a Catholic group- Jesus sent out his disciples in groups of two because the world is full of temptation and hardship and Jesus knew the importance of a loyal friend to help during the troublesome journey.  In the same way we need to have close relationships with other Christians so that together we encourage, motivate and pray for one-another.  I know that my Catholic friends have helped me pursue God and to trust in Him.  Knowing that others practice my Christian lifestyle gives me courage to be loyal to God especially when I am out in the world with friends and loved ones who do not share my faith.     

Read the Bible and do spiritual reading- When I like a man I want to know everything about him- what he likes, dislikes, what makes him happy, sad angry, what his dreams are, who his family and loved are, what he values…  As the friendship grows between us so must our knowledge of one another.  Pope Francis gave a great Papal Audience on the importance of using the period of courtship as a period to really get to know one another- in the same way we need to desire that intimacy with God.  We need to want to learn more about Him by reading scripture.  Sometimes when we are new to reading God’s word a spiritual book can help inspire and encourage our faith.   

Go on retreat or pilgrimage- It’s good to get away from our routine and spend time with God and other Catholics.  There’s so many type of retreats and pilgrimages so find one that interest you and try it.  My spiritual life has benefited greatly from this practice of leaving my surroundings to be alone with God.  Not only are they fun, but so spiritually nourishing. 

These are five activities that I have found really help me continue growing as a Catholic, but there are many more.  God constantly shows me when I have outgrown something by giving me a new way to manifest my love for Him and to mature in my faith.  We must always remember that the Christian life is a ongoing journey and we must never feel like we have arrived at being Christian because there’s always more chiseling God can do in our beings if we just let Him (smile).

YA Retreat

Every year I go on one weekend retreat as a way to keep the fire of God burning in my soul.  This past weekend I retreated to Saint Andrew’s Abbey to be secluded in the desert with God.  God is so immensely wonderful, on Saturday was the feast day of Saint Benedict and I got to celebrate with Benedictine monks.  Every morning, we had the option of attending Festal Lauds and on Saturday (due to the feast day) the Bishop was in attendance and their prayer time was a little more festive than usual- they went all out as Father Carlos shared.  Below are some highlights of my weekend…

Meeting Father Martin- On Friday afternoon I met Father Martin who is a blend of Capuchin & Celtic spirituality.  He has a very unique habit.  He wears the brown tunic usually worn by Franciscans and a grey scapular.  Father explained that while walking the Camino de Santiago, God revealed to Him a special love and devotion for Celtic spirituality and he wanted to express his blend of spirituality in his habit.  He’s a great story teller and during the weekend he shared many simple yet meaningful stories.  My favorite was one that explained the purpose of a monk in Celtic Spirituality is to be an Anam Cara a “soul friend” for the journey.

The Desert- I love retreating into the natural splendor of nature when I go on retreat because it really helps me center my mind on God by shedding city noise and troubles.  When I am in the quiet of nature God is more easily seen and heard and I glorify Him just by enjoying His star covered night or the browns of my surroundings.  I loved laying down on the grass and feeling the rays of sunshine reaching down upon me through the slits of the tree branches.  Coming upon a lizard, a beetle, a squirrel or a family of quail gave me so much joy - there's so much life even on barren land (smile).        

My small group.

Community- I got to be with other young adults sharing my faith.  It’s always so motivating to be surrounded by people who are trying to live holy lives and who really love God- it’s such an encouragement.  We had many good discussions which fortified our faith.

Being in the Presence of Jesus- We had perpetual adoration so anytime I wanted to be with Jesus I could slip in and say hello.  I spent some time each day in prayer interceding for my loved ones, talking to Jesus about life and just quietly in His presence.  It’s so awesome to have access to God in such tangible form- to be able to fix my eyes on Him and know that He sees me!   

Reconciliation / Mass- The priests of the abbey made themselves available for confession, and after reconciling with God we were able to partake in the Eucharist.  As a cherry on top Father gave such a great homily!

My weekend was so blessed! And now I feel like Saint Ignatius when he said, “When the object of our love is infinite, we can always love more and more.”       

Six Myths About Christians

A few weeks ago I attended an event, it was a time for people from all over the diocese to come out and support our seminarians by sharing tacos, beer and good conversation.  I spoke to a couple of men that are on their way to becoming priests and we had such interesting talks- mainly about their experience moving from Vietnam to continue their studies in the United States.  I had so much fun socializing and spending time with some of my friends from church.  On my way home, I started reflecting on how much I enjoy my life…  Yesterday, I went to see a pianist perform at the Hollywood Grove with a really good Christian friend and again on the way home I was thinking gosh since I returned to the Catholic Church my life is pretty exciting.  Which then made me think about some erroneous thoughts I used to hold about the Catholic Church and Christians in general.  So, today I want to tackle six myths people believe about Christians.  

Christians are perfect- The opposite is actually the truth, Christians are flawed sinners redeemed by a loving, perfect God.  As an agnostic what repelled me about Christianity were Christians.  I hated hypocrites who went to Mass and spoke about God, but their lives showed no fruits- they were still mean, oppressive and immoral. Gandhi said that he would become a Christian when he met one, and sadly people go on having this view that Christians have mastered Christianity just by calling themselves followers of Christ.  The truth is Christianity is an ongoing journey and no one ever arrives (on this side of heaven with the exception of the saints) at mastering the spirituality.  That’s why it’s so important to place our eyes on God who is perfect and not on his imperfect followers.

Christians lead boring lives- As a college, party girl looking at other young adults who were on fire for God I thought, “These people must be really boring if they can’t drink, party and have millions of rules to follow.”  The reality is that the Christian lifestyle is the most fulfilling way of life I have found.  Sure we have a higher standard for living, but that’s because God has high expectations because He wants the best for us (love always wants the best for the beloved).  In leading a Christian life I have found that I have constant joy and peace, unlike my earlier years of partying where I only had fun at the party and the rest of the time I was miserable.  Jesus is the model par excellence of Christian life and he’s the most interesting person I have ever met, his life is anything but boring- he captivated large audiences and people sought him for conversation.  He shared wine with his friends, laughed and enjoyed life.  Through his example we are taught and encouraged to enjoy life too.  Contrary to common belief God wants us to be happy and Christianity teaches us how to be content in every situation.  A happy person who lives passionately is never boring.         

Christians aren’t allowed to think for themselves- This was another big repellant factor for me, I believed that following God meant leaving my brain at the door.  That in order to commit to Christianity I had to go through a brainwashing process that would vacate me from self and turn me into a stereotypical Christian follower.  Penny would die and in her place would be an ignorant copy.  Yet, apologetics played a huge part in my conversion and using my brain to make peace between science and religion really motivated my spiritual growth. 

Christians are all the same.  Again I believed that to be Christian meant to be like everyone else.  That I had to start wearing long skirts, baggy shirts and give up on all things that formed my identity; but, I soon realized that God didn’t want another Saint Francis of Assisi or Mother Teresa, He simply wanted the best version I can give Him of me (each day) because He values each of us separately.  To Him each of us have extraordinary value because we are irreplaceably unique.  He values our difference and that is so evident in just looking at creation and the variation of flowers, plants, trees, animals…    

Christians have a low view of women- The truth is that both men and women are precious to God and He loves us equally, but He did give us different roles in society.  The man is the head of the family, and the woman is his helpmate.  The big BUT that often gets missed in this description is that God is the head of man, so men are accountable to God.  God tells men that they must love their women like Christ loved the Church- that’s a huge responsibility.  If women examine the way that God loved His church only a dummy would not want to follow God’s will for the sexes!  While some people think that God makes women inferior and gives them to men as slaves – on close examination this is clearly not true.   

Christians are not allowed to enjoy sex ever/ sex is bad- God gave us sex as a gift to be enjoyed only in marriage between a man and a woman.  I think because God gives such clear directions and saves the act for only sacramental marriage people get the wrong idea.  They think that because it comes with restrictions that it must be bad.  Yet, the church says that sex is a really good thing, a holy thing that frees you to love completely.  Usually, when something has great value it must be protected and kept in a special place, that’s what God does. He values sex so much that He saves it for marriage and we must do the same.

I think that ignorance leads to a lot of misunderstandings and it’s important to learn about each other- this opens us up for dialogue and maybe even brings conversion.

Developing a Healthy Prayer Life

In January, I began praying the rosary daily.  At the end of the day, I light a candle, some incense and mediate on the mysteries.  As I started to really enjoy my daily time with God, I added three prayers of intercession involving my friends the saints (Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Jude Thaddeus and Saint Antony of Padua).  Then I became more ambitious and added an ongoing novena to my prayer time.  Recently, Father suggested that after I pray formal prayers that I stick around and talk to God about my day and just sit for a moment in silence to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  Slowly my time with God has increased and now it’s a habit that I look forward to everyday.  At some point in your spiritual life you will have to make time for daily prayer and you have to be intentional about it and not leave it to chance otherwise it won’t happen.  I have found that having a range between 6PM-9PM (depending on my daily schedule) to pray has really helped me keep consistency.  Sometimes I am really excited about prayer and other times I don’t feel like doing it, but I still keep my appointed time and ask God to help me pray when I am terribly distracted.  Whether I start with the desire to spend time with God or not, by the time I end my prayer time I always feel so much more at peace and more connected to God.  I heard that it takes twenty-one days for something to become a habit, so commit to that short period and begin slowly spending ten minutes with God until it becomes a common practice.

The Rosary:  I have found that starting my prayer time with the rosary, helps me transition from my daily stresses into the realms of God.  I love feeling the beads in my fingers and feeling the progression from one mystery to the next. Each decade I offer it up for a specific intention and while I pray for others I enjoy contemplating each biblical passage.  In addition, praying the rosary really helps me move the focus from self and to think of God, Mother Mary and of others' needs.   

Formal Prayers:  I have a horrible memory, but luckily I have a little book with many formal prayers composed by saints in addition to many of the popular Catholic prayers.  Some of my favorite prayers are composed by saints!  I find them beyond beautiful and when I pray them I usually ask for the intersession of that particular saint, when I do this I feel like I am praying in a room with an army of friends (smile).

Sacred Scripture:  God speaks to us through His word so it’s super important for me to immerse myself in scripture.  Sometimes I just read some of my favorite verses and mediate on their meaning.  Other times I read through the Bible just to learn and get to know more about God and our faith.  There’s many, many ways of using the Bible in personal prayer.  Recently I started a study on the power of love and I get to examine more closely a passage from the Epistle to the Corinthians.

Talking to God: This is my favorite because it requires no materials and it can be done anytime anywhere!  As my morning prayer, I usually love talking to God in my car when I am heading to work.  A few months ago I got pulled over because I was so engrossed in conversation with God that a cop thought I was talking on my cellphone.  The cop felt pretty silly when he pulled me over and realized that I am just a nut who talks to God as if he’s sitting right next to me in the passenger seat!  Sometimes I cry, sometimes I laugh while I talk to Him just like I would with a really close chum (smile).

Silence: “Be still and know that I am God,” is one of my favorite verses, but putting it to practice is hard!  After saying a great deal to God we need to be quiet and listen to our hearts, to God and to just enjoy His presence.  Silence is hard because I get easily distracted, but if we make a little time for silent prayer each day, then the Lord will help us become more sensitive to His presence and our prayer will become deeper and more intimate.

Prayer is a big part of a Christian it’s as important as water and air for the body- it sustains our spiritual peace and motivates our spiritual growth.  Thus, start setting aside ten minutes to be with God and build on that.  Create a small “sacred place” in your room with a crucifix, some holy pictures, holy water, candles- you can get as creative as you want.  Then close the door and pray.  Maybe begin with a formal prayer (Our Father, Hail Mary) then talk to God in your own words and end with silence.  I promise, if you show up for prayer God will eventually start leading and teaching you how to really worship Him and your life will drastically change for the better. Am praying for you corazón.       

The Little Way

My nephew called me a few days before Independence Day and asked me if I had already purchased fireworks for the fourth of July.  I smiled and asked him why he wasn’t asking his dad about it this and confidently he said because you are my cool aunt.  Needless to say (though I am terrified of fireworks even the less threatening sparklers) I stopped on my way home from dinner and bought a small batch to please my eight-year-old. On the night of the fourth, watching his excitement as together we conquered our fears igniting all sorts of small rockets, warmed my heart and I knew that this moment would be a memory I would forever treasure… Have you ever contemplated how to be more loving? How to be kinder towards others? How to approach each day with the desire to lift all those who God places in your path specially friends and family… I have been thinking a lot about that lately.  While I find it easier to be affectionate towards people that I trust and who I have a long history with – I want to be instinctively kind towards everyone.

When I began my conversion I was like a proud Isaiah volunteering for the prestigious roles in ministry, “send me Lord to minister to foreign lands, to speak to large conventions and to transform the world.”  Though I was beginning to change I was measuring spiritual success in the way I had always measured worldly success through fame, wealth and power.  I wanted to keep my naïve dreams of being a famous author and speaker, but to now do it in God’s name.  Since my initial conversion, I like to think that I have matured and that now my dreams are less grandiose and maybe even a little more God-centered (smile); yet, I still struggle to live out my Christian vocation in my everyday life with my everyday people.  Most of the time it’s easier to be kind to members in our Christian community or even strangers but a challenge to be nice to our families and close friends.  It’s rewarding even enjoyable to volunteer once in a while at a senior home, hospital, feeding the homeless, etc., but so challenging to be helpful (daily) at home and work.  When we are at a Christian conference and the speaker asks for a glass of water, many people rush to get the speaker a cold, bottled water- sometimes the speaker doesn’t even need to ask because someone is already handing them a drink.  Yet, at home when our loved one asks for a glass of water, we are quick to whine and say, “Get, up and get it yourself.”  It’s just easier to be kind in public to strangers than it is in our private lives to people who have hurts us and who we have full knowledge of their character and flaws.  Yet, the great majority of us will have to live our Christian lives just as ordinary people.  Our sanctification will happen through ordinary life experiences.  In fact, all the saints were regular people who lived with intentionality, passion, a great desire to please God – but mostly (men and women) who glorified God by living ordinary lives in an extraordinary way.

Saint Therese of Lisieux is famous for “the little way” in which she lived life, however, when she died many were surprised at her sanctification because she lived her life in such an ordinary way.  She was very private even secretive in doing small things with great love for God.  In her view, holiness is not achieved by doing great and dramatic things (which lead to pride); it is to do small things with care, kindness and humility for the love of God and for the love of neighbor.  Her spirituality motivates me in this new period of my spiritual life in which I want to focus on being more loving and kind.  I am learning that when I am loving and kind I never have regrets; however, when I am too stubborn or afraid and withhold then the regrets just pile up.  We only have one person who we can control, change and who can impact our lives and the lives of others and that is ourselves.  Right now, you don’t need to wait for the perfect moment- at this minute the person you are can be the biggest blessing to the world around you.  Ask God to send you: to love the hurt, the rejected, the afflicted, but to first love those people He gave you as family and friends.  Be loving first, be kind first, be forgiving first…    

Your Christian Vocation

Yesterday morning was challenging, I got a new project and half way through it I realized that I had done it all wrong.  I misread the instructions so I had to start over midday and the project was due later that afternoon.  Usually while I work I listen to music or a spiritual talk to drown out the office noise and I was listening to a protestant preacher speak on a topic that I can’t quite remember, but she went on some rant (unrelated to her talk) about putting yourself out there to find your spouse.  She said that when she was looking for her spouse she would parade the isles of Home Depot!  Her take on things was that just as you would go out looking for a job and not wait at home for it to find you- you had to employ the same tactic to your spousal search. I recall feeling really depressed because her rant made me feel like I am in charge of finding my spouse and if I haven’t found him it’s my fault because I am not putting myself out there enough.  Some days I am hyper sensitive and her words really had a negative effect.  I couldn’t shake the idea that I was to blame for being single (as if being single is the worst state one could be).  As I drove home from work I started talking to God about the things going on in my mind and by the time I got home I was so exhausted that I laid on my bed for a while getting more and more depressed.  So, I picked a book from my bedside to distract myself and just randomly opened it.  It fell open to a chapter on discovering your vocation.  I hadn’t even read two sentences when I knew that God was speaking to me.  It’s so lovely when God speaks to us right after we seek Him in our troublesome times.

Sometimes I get really fearful of wasting my life. I am very aware that I only have one life and I like living it with passion and intentionality.  In matters of the heart I am especially vulnerable and fearful that I am wasting my time or am not trying hard enough.  Thus, when I heard this preacher suggesting I parade myself down Home Depot and that I am to blame for my single status in life I was devastated because in a way she’s right and I like to take responsibility for my life.  If we are single and God has shown us through a deep desire in our hearts that marriage is what He wants for us then we should be out there helping God place our spouse in our lives.  We should go to youth events, prayer groups, retreats, pilgrimages, use dating websites etc. We should place ourselves in an environment that facilitates God’s work in sending us our spouse (smile).  Yet, I am shy and an introvert and unless God changes me a great deal I don’t think that parading myself down a home improvement store is going to help.  We do have some responsibility when it comes to looking for a spouse in addition to socializing with other Catholics, we should enrich our prayer life; nourish our spiritual life through spiritual reading and joining a group that encourages our faith and helps us be part of Catholic community; have a spiritual director or friend who we can talk to when the going gets tough; and grow in holiness.  All of these responsibilities are part of being a Christian and above any vocation (since our baptism) we are all called to live out daily our Christian vocation!  “If we die young, or we don’t discover a more specific Christian vocation, then we should not feel we have wasted our life, or that our life is unfinished or unfulfilled.”  That’s the second sentence I read yesterday that just had me smiling from ear to ear, because God couldn’t have spoken more clearly to this fool! 

When I was in my college years I used to worry about my career of making the right choices to place me in my dream job.  I felt like if I didn’t choose correctly I would go down the wrong path.  I studied to teach High School English and now I work in the mortgage industry!  Has my life been a waste because I studied for one thing and am currently working in a quite different field? No.  I love working in an office setting with adults and not having to deal with parents (smile)… I have this great fear since my brother passed of wasting my life so am very determined and intentional in living and I think we should all live our lives with joy and purpose; but, we need to let go of fears that arise from not reaching a goal or a status in life.  We need to remember that our duty is to live out our Christian vocation one day at a time and live it for Christ and His glory.  After all His plans are not our plans- and thus even if we are not where we think we should be we must accept that we are right were God wants us to be (smile).  Give Him your life:  “I am complete Yours, I give You everything; I will do whatever You ask of me, I will let go of my fears and doubts.  Show me Your will, and I will follow it I am Yours.” And trust completely that He will provide.