When I teach about prayer to my RCIA students I compare it
to falling in love. At first two people
in love have so much to say to each other because they are getting to know one
another, but after being in love for sometime words are not as important. Like my parents who after fifty years of
marriage enjoy being silent in each other’s company. My dad will be going through the mail, while
my mom is mending a pair of jeans both in the same room enjoying each other. In this time of so much noise and business, I
grew-up in a home where we like hanging around each other, especially in our
backyard basking in the warm sun. It’s
almost our Sunday routine to gather together in the yard and after catching-up just
sitting together quietly. Sometimes, I
have wondered if I were to bring a significant other into these Sunday
afternoons with my clan if that person would understand the importance of
togetherness without much activity- in fact usually in silence?
Though nothing is happening in terms of exchanges, when I
sit with my family something beyond happens that connects us
together. It is in these quiet gatherings
that I feel their love and the power of our connection. I come from a family that rarely says “I love
you” – yet, I have always known that I am loved by them. Because it takes intimacy to be comfortable with
silences and also a high level of care. When I sit with my family and watch the
sunset, I would purr if I were a feline -satisfied that even in my rest I love
and am loved. I think in terms of
finding a significant other I want someone who will sit with me for a while. I used to have these conversations with Dollar
because he used to love quietly laying next to me, satisfied with us being
together in the same room relaxing, I would say especially on low days, “I want
to find someone who will just lay with me and forget the world. Someone who loves me simply because I exist
and not the sum of my strengths and weaknesses.”
In contemplation that’s what we do with God, just sit and
enjoy being in His presence. He looks at
me (at rest when I am completely unimpressive) and loves me because I am His
beloved. Thankfully, my parents have
passed this great practice of the importance of silence - of quieting the mind
to be able to hear love and to understand not only God, but also each other. It was only until recently that I realized
how special I am to have a group that loves me enough to spend quiet times with
me. In quiet, demands get cancelled and being
just me is enough- I like that feeling of complete acceptance.
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