“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end,”
were the lyrics to our senior class song, quite mature lyrics for teenagers
with pockets full of dreams. As I was
thinking of what to write this week those lyrics jumped at me because I am at a
transition in my life, a fork in the road and while it’s easy to sulk about the
end of things I am actually really optimistic about my future. So, what now? Tabula Rasa, I have a blank
slate to start over and the first thing that I plan to do is go visit my
grandma. After settling my unemployment,
health care and all those logistics that a lay off brings – I decided that
before I commit myself to new employment, I want to travel to Mexico and spend a
couple weeks with my grandma in the town I was born in. I have the opportunity to see her and it might
be our last time together since she hasn’t been doing that great lately-
so am looking at this free time as a blessing in disguise.
This free time has also given me the opportunity to do
things that I normally didn’t have the time to do. For some years now I have been wanting to
take the ten-week course on the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises and hadn’t because
I didn’t feel like driving to Hawaiian Gardens to take the classes. Now, I found a morning class that is not
only convenient because I don’t have to worry about being stuck in traffic, but
it’s also going to take me through the season of Lent. Today, I had my first class and it’s going to
be a period of intense learning and prayer.
These next ten weeks I am going to be working on learning the why of my existence,
proper care of creation and holy indifference.
The last though challenging is the one I am most excited about:
- To not prefer a long or short life
- To not prefer health over sickness
- To not prefer richness over poverty
- To not prefer honors over humiliation
When one loses a job, I feel like it’s a disturbance of
peace and to be studying Ignatian Spirituality during this time when I am
seeking order after a ten-year employment routine is such a great
gift from God. Ignatius believed that
peace comes not from having all your needs met, but from a desire to do God’s will
in every situation in life. I have
sometime off from work, and even though I was not the one that asked for the
time off I have the financial security to be able to go spend sometime with my
grandma who just had surgery and is in bed rest. I also have the ability to take courses, to go
to Mass daily and to transform my prayer life.
God is keeping me so busy that my days fly by without the time to think of
negative thoughts, but if those nasty thoughts do come I use a quote from a cheerful saint, “Tristeza y
melancolía fuera de la casa mia.”
What a great way to fight negative thoughts, “Sadness and melancholy
outside my house!” Because am finding
that putting things in order also requires making sure one’s mind is
also on check.
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