On Sunday, I had a really busy day… I started with my
regular session of RCIA, it was the Rite of Welcome and spirits were a bit
tense trying to get everything done in time for Mass. Instruction checked. Pre-meeting with godparents checked. Mass getting all people involved organized
checked. After a successful morning, I
headed to my monthly Franciscan meeting gift and dish in hand for our Epiphany
party. We had many great activities that
made the time fly and at the end we were presented with a surprise bible verse to
meditate in the coming days. I had just
finished writing my prayer intention and placed it in the prayer box when I was
handed a basket with small pieces of paper each holding a different scripture. I was asked to randomly pick one. I chose the one that the Holy Spirit
“inspired” and on opening to reveal the message I wanted to roll my eyes
because it’s a very popular scripture – one that I have often heard so much
that I know it by heart. It’s a verse
made popular at graduations, one overused in Lifeteen – not one that I thought
I needed as a mature adult. I realized
that I was reading a verse that has become a cliché to me and upon pondering
the familiarity of the words and the temporal disappointment I realized that I
was being a snob- even worse a prideful snob.
Jerimiah 29:11 is often engraved on graduation frames because completing
a degree is supposed to be a time of hope in the future to come, but why did I need
to hear these words now?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “
plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Lately, I haven’t wasted time with fears of the future, I am
actually pretty content with my life at the moment, but aren’t God’s word
eternal in wisdom? I folded the paper and placed it in my wallet to ponder
during the week until I came to the revelation deeply rooted in the familiar
words. “Do not worry about the future,
God is in control” is the obvious literal translation, but in the context of my
life (of Penny) what is God saying to me?
I’m a little slow in getting the message sometimes and after several
days I realized that while Hallmark might have made the verse popular-
they are God’s ceaseless words constant in power and wisdom… It’s the beginning
of a new year and God wants me to know that He has a plan. A few posts back I wrote about my New Year resolutions
and while it’s great to make plans to have goals – after we make them we have
to hand them to God trusting that His plans might not be my plans and if my
desires conflict with His – then I need to let go and trust in Him.
I do have a fear that I believe God is trying to heal me
with this message… I have heard of single women who get depressed with
weddings. It’s hard for them to go
because it shines a light on their singleness and illuminates their desire for
marriage. I don’t have that problem, I
can go to weddings and truly enjoy them, but I do have a problem with baby
showers. For most of my agnostic life I
thought I didn’t want to have children and then my nephew came and motherhood
started growing in me. I LOVE the
relationship I have with my nephew and while I am an influential figure in his
life - I am still just his aunt. As my fertile
years go by the fear of childlessness intensifies - baby showers have become torture
chambers, not because I don’t share in the joy of my loved ones having babies,
but because I get a glimpse at an uncertain future that scares me. Yet, God is telling me that He has a plan and
I have to trust Him. My trust in Him has
to be stronger than my fears. Timing is
funny- I had just made a resolution to live in the present and through Jeremiah
29:11 God is saying just that, do not worry about the future I got that taken
care of- live joyfully each moment right now.
He has “plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope
and a future.” Life is a miracle, a gift
and we have no knowledge of when we will be called home so why waste the now
worried and scared about tomorrow. I
thought that the verse I got was for encouraging only during specific moments
of one’s lives, now I know that God’s words are never clichés – but always
relevant truth for the journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment